tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post1771859538882563593..comments2023-11-02T06:57:11.400-04:00Comments on BookEnds Literary Agency: Query Critique: Fade to the EdgeBookEnds, A Literary Agencyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06287278822065839469noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-47630068746760075882015-04-25T09:09:52.911-04:002015-04-25T09:09:52.911-04:00I've been looking forward to reading your quer...I've been looking forward to reading your query critiques. Thanks for doing this Jessica, and to the brave souls who have put their queries forward.<br /><br />I found the query to be a little clunky and vague.<br /><br />I didn't think about the Mother's position (I assumed the fear for her child was assumed and the author was highlighting what else was going on - but maybe you shouldn't have to assume in a query?). <br /><br />Also interested by Elissa's comment and your follow-up to that, Jessica: <i>Agents tend to see the query as a representation of the book. My advice is if you get feedback on a query you should also check the manuscript to make sure that it's not a problem throughout</i>.AJ Blythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04529233142099749005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-17889120793533087132015-04-24T13:10:00.289-04:002015-04-24T13:10:00.289-04:00Jessica,
I realize agents assume the query is an ...Jessica,<br /><br />I realize agents assume the query is an accurate representation of the book; how can they do otherwise?<br /><br />I guess I'm being optimistic about this particular novel, knowing how hard it is to write a query. If I received query feedback, I would certainly check that query faults weren't the result of faults with the novel itself. <br /><br />That's one of the advantages of getting feedback. It's far better to find these things out before one starts querying "for real".Elissa Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10727748060605823895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-3232658948250760472015-04-24T09:59:25.610-04:002015-04-24T09:59:25.610-04:00Thank you for all of the great comments. I think t...Thank you for all of the great comments. I think the more people who participate the better it is for everyone.<br /><br />A couple of extra thoughts:<br /><br />It's not a red flag for me if the writer went from traditional publishing to self-publishing. A writer's career is never an even trajectory. It's always a series of ups and downs. I also don't know the why. It could have been a decision the writer made to try something new, to or to get away from a contract she didn't like, or something different.<br /><br />Elissa: I think it's an interesting point that you blame the query, but not the book. Agents tend to see the query as a representation of the book. My advice is if you get feedback on a query you should also check the manuscript to make sure that it's not a problem throughout.<br /><br />John: You are competing against people who have been published, but that doesn't mean their chance is much better than yours. It's about the book.<br /><br />--jhfBookEnds, A Literary Agencyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06287278822065839469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-37121162063133068972015-04-24T02:52:24.018-04:002015-04-24T02:52:24.018-04:00In addition to the things already mentioned, such ...In addition to the things already mentioned, such as the hook, two things struck me:<br />1. The awkward sentences. So easy for me to imagine. We write a sentence that makes perfect sense to us because we know what we're trying to say. But if you read it aloud, you might realize the awkwardness that a reader will sense. Need to check for that in my own query.<br />2. OMG! I'm competing against people who have been published multiple times?! That knocked me down. I'll get up again, but it staggered me for a bit. Didn't realize people who were already published would be shopping around for an agent.<br /><br />Kudos to the author for putting this up, and thank you to Jessica for this series. So helpful.John Frainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01702305890462479118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-51507428078917315782015-04-23T18:55:42.971-04:002015-04-23T18:55:42.971-04:00I actually like the bullet points, as the visual s...I actually like the bullet points, as the visual separation highlights the info, which is good. Putting all that in less pithy form would feel muddy to me, reading.<br /><br />Agreed on the point about the query's focus on the mother's concerns. I wonder, too, where is the hook? :)DLMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08768285199864217885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-63355678170865142832015-04-23T15:21:07.929-04:002015-04-23T15:21:07.929-04:00I, too, was a little baffled that the mother seems...I, too, was a little baffled that the mother seems aloof. She becomes determined to locate her child only after she becomes the main suspect in his disappearance? And this AFTER a suitcase of bloody clothing has been found? Any normal mother I know would be frantic from the start.<br /><br />I can't imagine the character is really this dispassionate, so I'm blaming the query. I think focusing on the idea that those who are closest to the MC are the ones she can least trust will help. Show who these people are and why they can't be trusted. And maybe mention why the MC doesn't think the bloody clothes indicate the worst.Elissa Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10727748060605823895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-76451450819884251152015-04-23T12:05:45.443-04:002015-04-23T12:05:45.443-04:00I found the hook a little intriguing. (I'm a f...I found the hook a little intriguing. (I'm a fan of psychological thrillers with torn-apart families like DEEP END OF THE OCEAN.) But, wow, this letter was so riddled with typos and sloppiness I'm amazed that the writer really published the books she claims to have published. Is it a red flag too that the writer went from being published (Pelican) to self-publishing? I think you were kind in your assessment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-36757164071307851982015-04-23T09:31:05.790-04:002015-04-23T09:31:05.790-04:00A thing that struck me here was that the mother wo...A thing that struck me here was that the mother worried about things related to herself: whether it would make her look like a bad parent, whether she would be accused of the crime. I would have expected her to just be frantic to recover the child no matter what.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com