tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post1447608785758977255..comments2023-11-02T06:57:11.400-04:00Comments on BookEnds Literary Agency: Workshop WednesdayBookEnds, A Literary Agencyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06287278822065839469noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-82121737650012555622011-03-17T16:26:14.984-04:002011-03-17T16:26:14.984-04:00Thanks for the tips - I guess I still have a lot o...Thanks for the tips - I guess I still have a lot of work to do! There's going to be more world building and character development for sure.<br /><br />@ nicole - I'm curious, what do you think Ben's deal is? I myself hate predictable fiction so I'm eager to know if you guessed at it.Start Anew Authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-34492458695624504612011-03-17T15:28:07.268-04:002011-03-17T15:28:07.268-04:00@Kim--
Thank you for the clarification. Started ha...@Kim--<br />Thank you for the clarification. Started having a baby panic attack :)Lynn(e) Schmidthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13111991752818662608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-66618035724566215092011-03-17T13:34:58.025-04:002011-03-17T13:34:58.025-04:00I think it can be difficult to summarize a complex...I think it can be difficult to summarize a complex story like this for a query. I agree with the noted suggestions to work on a little focus, and explain what is going on over on Earth for some context. It's definitely a balance between telling too much and having the details muddle up the query, and not saying enough. <br /><br />Also agree that 45,000 is a good rough draft length. Your next go-through can focus on adding depth to characters, taking more time with crucial scenes, etc. Spend some more time writing the characters you like, and then you can go back and edit what doesn't work. (all just my personal advice at what has worked for me!)Stephscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328839483008086049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-25039266488552509462011-03-16T19:40:10.810-04:002011-03-16T19:40:10.810-04:00Ah, thanks to the author/readers of Sci Fi, I'...Ah, thanks to the author/readers of Sci Fi, I'm getting a clearer picture now. I rarely read or watch Sci Fi movies, so this is helpful.Robena Granthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18389730409379890816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-39108526103991203742011-03-16T19:34:31.780-04:002011-03-16T19:34:31.780-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Robena Granthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18389730409379890816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-74815290755737628222011-03-16T18:59:03.655-04:002011-03-16T18:59:03.655-04:00Interestingly enough, I think I already know what ...Interestingly enough, I think I already know what Ben's deal is. And I'm onboard with Sarah. The deep freeze to a "utopia" sound pretty typical of an SF story in which everyone is frozen until they reach their destination (otherwise you'd live to old age and die before ever getting there).<br /><br />I also agree it needs to be longer, though I believe that with some sprucing of the query letter to clear things up, it could reveal itself to be an interesting story.Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04437698825217730840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-80970687575945064512011-03-16T16:11:04.481-04:002011-03-16T16:11:04.481-04:00I think this story sounds intriguing, with the exc...I think this story sounds intriguing, with the exception of the flashback. The flashback may work in the book, but in this concentrated query snippet it's confusing and maybe should be omitted. The writing could use another pass for clarity, too. For example, who is Leon, mentioned in the second paragraph? I'm assuming he's the shirtless old man, but it's not clear.<br /><br />And I could be wrong, but I believe the deep freeze mentioned is in regard to Ben being frozen on his ship because space travel takes such a long time -- think Alien movies.sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16736594830061244680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-74139716106136855442011-03-16T14:09:49.230-04:002011-03-16T14:09:49.230-04:00The premise of this story sounds very interesting,...The premise of this story sounds very interesting, although as others have said, some of the timeline needs to be cleared up in the query and the novel lengthened. It sounds like there is a lot of room for that, though, with all the details you've given. Get in there and explore the characters, the world, etc. some more.<br /><br />As for the query itself, if the story's focus is really on the mystery of your MC being wanted for a murder he couldn't have committed, concentrate on that. Expand that part out and give less attention to the shirtless old man and the establishment of the community.Kristin Laughtinhttp://kristinlaughtin.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-3983816144946783112011-03-16T13:57:25.029-04:002011-03-16T13:57:25.029-04:00Hi Lynne --
Generally, I think that agents want t...Hi Lynne --<br /><br />Generally, I think that agents want to know if you've ever been published before or not. But unless an agent asks, I wouldn't reveal that this is the first manuscript you've ever written. They don't need to know that one way or the other. If someone's written 15 books and is still looking for representation, I wouldn't recommend you say that either.<br /><br />The point is that an agent might have preconceived notions about either answer and your objective is to let them focus on the book and not let any such distractions get in the way of your pitch.<br /><br />I guess the meaning wasn't clear in this query. If the author meant this was their "first novel" in that they hadn't been previously published, it would be fine.Kim Lionettinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-72267690913197736572011-03-16T12:30:29.503-04:002011-03-16T12:30:29.503-04:00Thanks for offering your query for critique.
My ...Thanks for offering your query for critique. <br /><br />My main questions are about the time sequences. Was Ben frozen in time? If so, for how long? And what and how did he reawaken? And was this entire planet frozen? The landscape described didn't hint at that. <br /><br />Did he escape earth in search of Utopia? And what happened on earth? Also there is mention that his last family member just died. Then the male he discovers was born before Ben left earth. How does Ben know he has been gone for that long?<br /><br />I think if the author can tighten up the time issues, there is the promise of something interesting in this story.Robena Granthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18389730409379890816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-42969074473638907392011-03-16T11:04:50.485-04:002011-03-16T11:04:50.485-04:00"Always address your query to a specific agen..."Always address your query to a specific agent, not just the agency’s name."<br /><br />I haven't queried in a while, but I remember when I was querying this could be confusing. Some agencies don't allow authors to query specific agents. All queries go to assistants and interns. And those that do, almost seem to take it personally when authors greet with the name of the agency instead of a specific agent. <br /><br />So authors really need to pay attention to the guidelines and specific directions on agency web sites when it comes to this. And (smile) agencies need to overlook this one unless they are all one the same page.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-67573713805873400802011-03-16T10:46:28.739-04:002011-03-16T10:46:28.739-04:00I think this writer is at the beginning of his/her...I think this writer is at the beginning of his/her process, but definitely shows some promise. <br /><br />And I'm intrigued by the stonemason thing! I think the writer should incorporate that into the project in some way.Rosemaryhttp://www.rosemarydibattista.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-24025092276999948812011-03-16T10:37:16.803-04:002011-03-16T10:37:16.803-04:00START ANEW is a 45,000 word science fiction.
Here...<i>START ANEW is a 45,000 word science fiction.</i><br /><br />Here is where you do want to say "novel" after fiction.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-23412036933203218722011-03-16T09:56:20.902-04:002011-03-16T09:56:20.902-04:00What I read of the story sounds really interesting...What I read of the story sounds really interesting but I'm confused in spots. In addition to BookEnds' comments I'm not sure what the focus of the story is. And what was that flashback to earth? Is the story divided into two parts? <br /><br />The main concern is the length. It sounds like it could be a very involved plot. Especially if you're telling the story on two planets. As you research the craft of writing and keep working on your story to keep it understandable and focused I think you'll be able to fill it out to full length. <br /><br />Good luck, I hope you keep working on it because it sounds interesting.S.P. Bowershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09746614009206426805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-37624373045958426952011-03-16T09:36:00.207-04:002011-03-16T09:36:00.207-04:00...I've read on other places, and spoke with o......I've read on other places, and spoke with other agents who say "If this is your first novel, we want to know"<br /><br />Why do you guys prefer not to know this?<br /><br />Thanks for the helpful insight!Lynn(e) Schmidthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13111991752818662608noreply@blogger.com