tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post2221691882551994042..comments2023-11-02T06:57:11.400-04:00Comments on BookEnds Literary Agency: Holiday Critiques #2BookEnds, A Literary Agencyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06287278822065839469noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-24675907860469161872008-12-27T15:46:00.000-05:002008-12-27T15:46:00.000-05:00Anon 12:28, and what make you think that the peopl...Anon 12:28, and what make you think that the people who submitted their pitches aren't serious writers?<BR/><BR/>You're obviously having some 'problems' with your agent and you're frustrated, but the tone you take makes you sound like you think that you're above 'other writers', that's a bad attitude to take. Talk to your agent, don't lash out on blogs against other writers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-63851146663750443942008-12-23T18:14:00.000-05:002008-12-23T18:14:00.000-05:00Anonymous 12:28, while I can absolutely see where ...Anonymous 12:28, while I can absolutely see where you're coming from, you have to keep in mind that it's Jessica's time. She decides what to do with it, and none of us are in any position to say what she should do instead, however fairer you think it would be. This is just the business. <BR/><BR/>Besides, by doing this, she's helping everybody who reads the blog, not just those whose pitches she critiques. As you can see from the comments on both this post and the former, a lot of people whose pitches didn't get critiqued (yet) or who didn't even submit theirs are very grateful that she's spending her time on this.Corinnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17346963796400016806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-55029502449703172322008-12-23T12:28:00.000-05:002008-12-23T12:28:00.000-05:00What I don't understand is why some agents will ta...What I don't understand is why some agents will take the time to critique unsolicited pitches (and obvious jokes like this), but only send form rejections to requested mss? How about a few words of wisdom or a short critique to us serious writers with requested partials/fulls? If I received a pitch like that, I wouldn't bother replying at all, much less give it a thoughtful critique. After all the work serious writers spend trying to craft the ideal query or novel, it's insulting to have your writing ignored or tossed out like garbage. Yes, I know--life is unfair. Happy holidays!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-60408045093242252072008-12-23T12:15:00.000-05:002008-12-23T12:15:00.000-05:00"With so many sincere entries, it seems a waste of..."With so many sincere entries, it seems a waste of time to critique this guy when so many of us are dying for your words of wisdom--seriously. Thanks for your advice and iput!"<BR/><BR/>She said she was choosing at random. I had to assume, and she confirmed it, she receives serious queries like this. I rally can't imagine someone including LOL, LMAO, cuz, ROFL in professional correspondence, but it, apparently, does happen.Julie Weathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725236516593676381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-58017419217821806142008-12-23T08:10:00.000-05:002008-12-23T08:10:00.000-05:00Thank you for your comments regarding my pitch, Je...Thank you for your comments regarding my pitch, Jessica. I really appreciate the feedback, and now I know what to work on to make it stronger.<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry your travel plans got messed up. Hope that despite this setback, your Christmas ends up being a good one!Annette Gallanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17139138912473286143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-2081571999108138942008-12-22T22:08:00.000-05:002008-12-22T22:08:00.000-05:00Thank-you, Jessica, I'm learning so much from this...Thank-you, Jessica, I'm learning so much from this exercise. Not just from the critique you gave me, but from all of the others too. I know I’m not alone in my appreciation of your time and expertise. Have a wonderful holiday.DLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05044879989440911008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-4070071117833872972008-12-22T20:03:00.000-05:002008-12-22T20:03:00.000-05:00Ah ha! I'm learning from this critique already. Pi...Ah ha! I'm learning from this critique already. Pitches, being back cover blurbs, need to be strong; use actiony words. It needs to be immediate and snappy. Don't focus on "emotion" but emote!<BR/><BR/>I'm going to look at back cover blurbs that snagged my attention, as well as blurbs for movies that I love and work on my pitch.Evangeline Hollandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00132593133675388609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-84693907780599889482008-12-22T19:35:00.000-05:002008-12-22T19:35:00.000-05:00A severe pinch on the arm at a very young age taug...A severe pinch on the arm at a very young age taught Paulette Palinsky not to mention the people who talk to her that no one else can see.<BR/>In 1961 mom dies and, encouraged by her dead dad, Pauly strikes out to start a new life. She finds an apartment in a wonderful old brownstone owned by a handsome police detective who is renovating the apartment next to hers. Finding he has forgotten to give her keys, a very different looking Ben Roitelli gives her one. Over the next week her contact is with two very different versions of the same man.<BR/>When bones are found behind a wall turn out to be Roitelli's father, missing from the same day in 1947 his aunt and uncle were murdered in the apartment he’s renovating Pauly must pursue ghosts to discover a murderer still alive and determined to keep his secrets.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-10948233739675306552008-12-22T16:41:00.000-05:002008-12-22T16:41:00.000-05:00I guess what I fail to understand is when people d...I guess what I fail to understand is when people don't follow directions. One paragraph pitch in the comments section of the original post. <BR/><BR/>One paragraph pitch.<BR/><BR/>Original post.<BR/><BR/>The original post also clearly states not to do this if you've queried the agency, if I remember correctly. (which perhaps I do not)<BR/><BR/>I make mistakes daily (my kids will attest to that) but if you want to be taken seriously as a debut author -- professionalism must be paramount, don't you think? <BR/><BR/>I also must note, unfortunately, that I see many typos and misused words and grammatical errors on agent blogs. It makes me wonder and shakes my confidence in the world of literary agents.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-75529622202293379472008-12-22T15:06:00.000-05:002008-12-22T15:06:00.000-05:00Mystery Robin:For what it's worth, I love your pit...Mystery Robin:<BR/><BR/>For what it's worth, I love your pitch!!! If it was on a book jacket, I'd be buying that sucker.Anitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06333494452915600562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-49259818671571884452008-12-22T13:57:00.000-05:002008-12-22T13:57:00.000-05:00I have to agree with AC, just reading your crits o...I have to agree with AC, just reading your crits of the pitch's helps me with mine. For instance before this pitch contest I had no idea what a pitch even was, I was always under the wrong assumption that it was the main body of the query. Everything pertinent to the book sans the paras dedicated to the authors writing credentials. Clearly I was wrong. lol. <BR/><BR/>But reading your breakdowns of each individual pitch has also been invaluable.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again Jessica! And so happy to hear your Christmas is gonna be wonderful regardless. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-29695664436394739682008-12-22T13:50:00.000-05:002008-12-22T13:50:00.000-05:00Congrats to those chosen! Jessica, you've done an ...Congrats to those chosen! Jessica, you've done an awesome job! So nice of you to do this for your readers. :)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-4041910544111404632008-12-22T13:34:00.000-05:002008-12-22T13:34:00.000-05:00Jessica,Nice of you to do this. I just finished r...Jessica,<BR/>Nice of you to do this. I just finished reading P&W's "Agents & Editors" article and found it quite depressing. Ok, I get the annoyance with pink stationary and foodstuff, but still….<BR/><BR/>So, under full disclosure, I have submitted this to your agency, but not to you. I e-mailed a query to Kim on 11/07/08 but have not heard back yet. So I hope that allows you to consider my query for a critique, especially if you follow that “break the rules” theory. I have altered it quite a bit anyway after reading your other critiques. Capsulizing your own work is so much harder than the work itself. I do believe that elevator pitches require a different skill set than novel writing. Anyway, here goes:<BR/><BR/>Take a pretty, thirtyish American teacher vacationing in Paris, add a twenty-four year old handsome Italian, place them in a café on the Île Saint-Louis and you have the makings of the quintessential love story. Or do you? Cosimo and Megan's relationship starts to unravel almost as quickly as it began. Megan, who values her simple, unassuming life, becomes pregnant and finds her world growing increasingly more complicated. While Cosimo never intentionally deceives her, he simply fails to mention the fact that he is wealthy or that he suffers from an assortment of mental disorders, including a mild case of schizophrenia. Their relationship is further complicated when Megan discovers that Cosimo is also the last prince of Italy whose wealth and love life (an impending arranged marriage) are under the control of his mother, Princess Maria-Beatrice (a cross between Donatella Versace and Benito Mussolini.) When Cosimo dies in a car crash that isn't exactly an accident and isn't exactly suicide, Megan is faced with the greatest challenge of her life, convincing the regal and diabolical Maria-Beatrice (a woman as emotionally unstable as her son) to recognize the infant as the prince’s heir. Both comic and tragic, this story’s uniqueness is derived by dealing openly and honestly with the prince's psychological demons and his struggle for sanity. And should the plot line sound a bit farfetched to you, consider the following; this 68,000 word literary novel, The Pedestrian Prince is based on a true story.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12494618711302869723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-61592709824374452562008-12-22T13:27:00.000-05:002008-12-22T13:27:00.000-05:00This is so cool that you're doing this! Thank you ...This is so cool that you're doing this! Thank you :-) Merry Christmas.Jessica Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12365768876905444157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-24004258783408673782008-12-22T12:03:00.000-05:002008-12-22T12:03:00.000-05:00Wow! I hadn't expected your critiques so soon. Fab...Wow! I hadn't expected your critiques so soon. Fabulous. Your comments are extremely helpful. Thank you. <BR/><BR/>Hope the cookies turned out well, and sorry to hear about your change in holiday plans. You've had some nasty storms back east. My ex M-I-L and good friend, who lives in Manhattan said everything is snow covered. Brrrrrrr. I'm going to wait until spring to visit.Robena Granthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18389730409379890816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-84896415145511240882008-12-22T11:20:00.000-05:002008-12-22T11:20:00.000-05:00The pitch queen continues her reign! Jessica, you'...The pitch queen continues her reign! Jessica, you're a genius at these crits. I remember the last pitch workshop you gave, I think it was November last year? Maybe December? Anyway, your crit of my pitch helped me SO much! Thanks to you, I managed to craft a pitch that helped get me my agent last May. You're the best!Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-12559085820838578602008-12-22T11:19:00.000-05:002008-12-22T11:19:00.000-05:00I'm assuming this is why Continental flights were ...I'm assuming this is why Continental flights were canceled:<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://www.bizjournals.com/houston/stories/2008/12/22/daily1.html" REL="nofollow">Continental flight skids off runway in Denver</A>feywriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17224558691840388691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-32609314261802081812008-12-22T11:04:00.000-05:002008-12-22T11:04:00.000-05:00Jessica,Thanks so much for your advice. It really...Jessica,<BR/><BR/>Thanks so much for your advice. It really helps, now I have to re-vamp my pitch! I felt that the opening line was a bit off, but I didn't know how to fix that. Now I do, and thanks so much for helping us writers with the harder part of writing a novel.<BR/><BR/>Happy Holidays!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-87035236849963379432008-12-22T10:48:00.000-05:002008-12-22T10:48:00.000-05:00Jessica, you go straight to Heaven on the express ...Jessica, you go straight to Heaven on the express escalator for doing this 2-week class on how to write a pitch. Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-3641906804994142872008-12-22T10:31:00.000-05:002008-12-22T10:31:00.000-05:00Jessica,Thanks so much! Your critique is very help...Jessica,<BR/><BR/>Thanks so much! Your critique is very helpful. I knew I was missing something critical in writing the pitch, but I simply couldn't pin point it. Now, I get it, and the example you gave sealed the deal. Thanks again for this fantastic opportunity.About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10011023963327391019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-23836156688945331662008-12-22T10:01:00.000-05:002008-12-22T10:01:00.000-05:00Jessica--Thank you SO much for doing this. I know ...Jessica--<BR/>Thank you SO much for doing this. I know we all appreciate your taking the time out of your holiday schedule to help us. I realized today it doesn't matter whether you randomly choose my pitch or not; I've taken TONS of notes on what you've already said to the other authors and it's been so helpful. Thanks again!Anna Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08774415814789806840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-79023241100683402972008-12-22T09:44:00.000-05:002008-12-22T09:44:00.000-05:00Let's hope this is a joke cuz why would anyone pay...Let's hope this is a joke cuz why would anyone pay to read such a farce, unless the guy is Hugh Hefner or Gene Simmons (ugh!)?<BR/>With so many sincere entries, it seems a waste of time to critique this guy when so many of us are dying for your words of wisdom--seriously. Thanks for your advice and iput!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-27488448982296946772008-12-22T09:37:00.000-05:002008-12-22T09:37:00.000-05:00I'm afraid I can't be sure it's a joke since I do ...I'm afraid I can't be sure it's a joke since I do receive many similar submissions and have always received similar submissions. I often see posts like this on writer message boards where the writer is skewered for being a troll. My advice to writers is be careful. It could very well be someone who just doesn't know.<BR/><BR/>--jhfBookEnds, A Literary Agencyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06287278822065839469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-65051855922624675732008-12-22T09:31:00.000-05:002008-12-22T09:31:00.000-05:00I think it was a joke, but I'm guessing Jessica ha...I think it was a joke, but I'm guessing Jessica has actually gotten similar sent as actual submissions and therefore saw some value in providing a crit.<BR/><BR/>Just a guess.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-37121606806716448122008-12-22T09:03:00.000-05:002008-12-22T09:03:00.000-05:00Chicki....you need to post your entry in the origi...Chicki....you need to post your entry in the original post if you want Jessica to read it! Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com