tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post2416460616932217594..comments2023-11-02T06:57:11.400-04:00Comments on BookEnds Literary Agency: Workshop WednesdayBookEnds, A Literary Agencyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06287278822065839469noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-12144271563854079542011-11-15T23:23:47.064-05:002011-11-15T23:23:47.064-05:00You should start the query with something funny ha...You should start the query with something funny happening. I write humor too and it isn't easy to portray in a query.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00741339742186444605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-27714361228185502582011-11-14T09:22:17.914-05:002011-11-14T09:22:17.914-05:00The problem is that Chelsea Handler was a celebrit...<i>The problem is that Chelsea Handler was a celebrity in her own right well before she ever put pen to paper.</i><br /><br />...and quite frankly, isn't all that funny. <br /><br />I do like the title.Sarah J. MacManushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03430266551248332700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-7581335575985744832011-11-09T22:16:01.117-05:002011-11-09T22:16:01.117-05:00I didn't even realise the query was meant to b...I didn't even realise the query was meant to be funny. I don't quite follow the first paragraph. What's the point? What is the conflict? Why should I even read it? It's not even remotely interesting.<br /><br />I expected the second paragraph to elaborate on the book. That can't be it right? That's not enough to induce me to read. Sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-49075715598433839622011-11-09T21:26:28.771-05:002011-11-09T21:26:28.771-05:00Am I missing something? What is the point of menti...Am I missing something? What is the point of mentioning that <i>you</i> work at a place where <i>someone else</i> was nominated for a Pulitzer?Michael Seesehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03694187657718931214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-62396981690624830942011-11-09T17:12:12.683-05:002011-11-09T17:12:12.683-05:00That title is a Work of F*****g Genius, and I woul...That title is a Work of F*****g Genius, and I would definitely take a look at this book based on that. But not on this query. The query needs to show more of the smartassery promised by that title, the bio, and the comparison to Chelsea Handler.<br /><br />Good luck with this, because I think I would dig this book.Julie Nilsonhttp://julienilson.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-38045629849206618892011-11-09T14:45:02.095-05:002011-11-09T14:45:02.095-05:00Since these are personal stories, one thing I advi...Since these are personal stories, one thing I advise you to do--particularly as it pertains to a query letter--is to step back and put your editorial hardhat on.<br /><br />There are three people involved here: you the writer, you the editor, and you the main character. As the editor, you need to take a good hard look at that main character and make sure she's someone who is sympathetic to readers. What's funny from your perspective is not necessarily so from ours, because we don't know you and don't have a reason to take an interest in you or (ouch) sympathize. You're going to have to make yourself a sympathetic character/narrator in the same way that you'd use to craft one in a novel.<br /><br />Remember, very few experiences are unique. Whether or not you sell will depend on your writer's voice (which as others have said, we need to see here), and whether you can persuade a reader that he or she actually wants to spend two hours with you and pay money for the privilege.Lucynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-80462972196180112322011-11-09T12:14:10.180-05:002011-11-09T12:14:10.180-05:00I really liked the bio and the title. However, as ...I really liked the bio and the title. However, as I feel the query shark would say, too much telling, not enough showing! <br /><br />I don't want to be told it's funny, show me it's funny. Give us a glimpse of your humorous writing style. <br /><br />That's how you'll win Query WarsAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12964473925684317787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-87973241762716164072011-11-09T11:50:27.713-05:002011-11-09T11:50:27.713-05:00I too love the title and would probably pick up th...I too love the title and would probably pick up the book to read the back cover and first few pages based on that alone.<br /><br />But I agree with a lot of the feedback: that the opening feels forced; that brevity shouldn't be used as a selling point (even if it *might* be one); that telling me something is funny automatically makes it less funny.<br /><br />The bio is one of your strongest paragraphs. Take a look at what is working there and extend that into the rest.<br /><br />I think it's okay -- appealing, in fact -- to have some "common," identifiable examples among your stories. But then you should contrast that with some unique ones -- show us why we want to read THIS book rather than Chelsea Handler's or anyone else's.<br /><br />Also, I'd like to get a better sense of YOU right from the start. Maybe that's part of what's making other commenters feel that this is too generic right now. I don't know how old you are, what your family is like, what your cultural background is, etc. Painting that picture would give me something -- someone -- to connect to, and thus make me more invested in their (your) stories.<br /><br />Great start, now it's time to sharpen! You've obviously got talent, so I'm sure you can knock this out of the park.Kristanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04771013578685419826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-15333066675183035842011-11-09T11:19:12.681-05:002011-11-09T11:19:12.681-05:00As a proud member of the Anonymous club (dibs on #...As a proud member of the Anonymous club (dibs on #4), here's a persnickety point. I'm not sure you want to say it's a "dim-witted account of one girl's misadventures." It might be more precise to say it's an account of one "dimwitted girl's misadventures." That way, the author/narrator is sharp and funny, poking fun at her younger, dimwitted self.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-16134262054415163832011-11-09T11:12:37.561-05:002011-11-09T11:12:37.561-05:00Good jobGood jobgetessay.comhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUTqTuQIzKcnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-84845804039741322252011-11-09T11:06:54.336-05:002011-11-09T11:06:54.336-05:00Trying to be funny is the surest way to fail at hu...Trying to be funny is the surest way to fail at humor. Trying TOO HARD to be funny will make you fail faster. <br /><br />The essays themselves may be hilarious, but the presentation as you have it here is not. Your tone's off.<br /><br />Start with your opening and take a hard look at it. Rather than humorous, it's coming of as a knee-jerk rant spawned from reading another writer's recount of their own childhood. It's like you sat down, thinking "I'll show them lousy!" (akin to the movie director who constantly shouts "BIGGER!" after every take on an explosion scene.)<br /><br />It feels forced and disingenuous.Josienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-19395950706300951722011-11-09T10:47:24.181-05:002011-11-09T10:47:24.181-05:00My problem with this query is that the experiences...My problem with this query is that the experiences in the opening paragraph don't sound that unique, especially the last three-- "wanting to stab my boss in the face with a Samurai sword, my traitorous ovaries launching Jihad against me, and having to listen to my parents have sex in our shared motel room because they thought I was asleep." Some of it may just be because they aren't very specific (is the boss extraordinarily bad, somehow? Did her ovaries land her in a hospital?) and I may be biased, since I got my hand shut in a car door (and was apologetically taken to the hospital for it by my dad) and have too-vigorously pushed siblings in strollers. But I just can't see myself really wanting to read this book as described. The experiences common and the humor good but not extraordinary... I think I might enjoy the first five to twenty pages and then put it down. I would be interested in a darkly comic or bitterly comic book about PTSD... or really any book about PTSD. Just my two cents. <br /><br />Anon. 3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-24678622763508567882011-11-09T10:34:45.562-05:002011-11-09T10:34:45.562-05:00Excellent website. Lots of useful information here...Excellent website. Lots of useful information here. I am sending it to a few friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks for your effort!вебпромоhttp://www.begun.ru/begun/collaboration/agents/detail.php?ID=3689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-22637981631301773642011-11-09T09:56:44.160-05:002011-11-09T09:56:44.160-05:00I like what Anonymous at 8:39 said, except I don&#...I like what Anonymous at 8:39 said, except I don't care for the opening lines. <br /><br />There are some genuinely funny lines in the query, mostly in the bio. I think the thing that makes it fall a little flat is the author is telling, not showing why her book is so funny.Scooter Carlylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06193754150220063430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-50444188880610046702011-11-09T09:18:17.573-05:002011-11-09T09:18:17.573-05:00I agree with anonymous.
The wheelchair thing is o...I agree with anonymous.<br /><br />The wheelchair thing is off-putting. Several of the other examples didn't really work for me either. The ovaries jihad and the parents having sex just sounds TMI-y, and wanting to stab the boss probably isn't that unusual. It'd be more interesting to hear what the boss did to draw your ire.<br /><br />About the ADHD thing-- well, I have it, and I enjoy reading long books and also writing them. So perhaps drop that. You don't want to sell your stories on the grounds that they don't take very long to read, anyway.<br /><br />Try to refocus this whole thing. Who did you write these stories for? What's the overall point or message that holds them all together?<br /><br />(These are questions not to answer in the query, but to think about before you re-write the query.)Anonymous Authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-16768400227880625922011-11-09T08:39:15.068-05:002011-11-09T08:39:15.068-05:00No one likes to be told that something funny is fu...No one likes to be told that something funny is funny. We want to decide that for ourselves.<br /><br />As Jessica says, remove all of this: "Prepare to give audience to the amazingly dim-witted account of one girl’s misadventures. Readers of all ages can identify with my heartwarming tales."<br /><br />Now just summarize each of your funniest tales. One tale per sentence. Add transitions like, "As a child . . ." And maybe drop the wheelchair thing, especially as your lead. It doesn't set the tone the way you think. You're funniest when you're the victim, not the perp.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com