tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post3687628895782462711..comments2023-11-02T06:57:11.400-04:00Comments on BookEnds Literary Agency: Workshop WednesdayBookEnds, A Literary Agencyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06287278822065839469noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-73433370576508843332011-07-07T16:38:49.763-04:002011-07-07T16:38:49.763-04:00Only two things bothered me.
First...I still real...Only two things bothered me.<br /><br />First...I still really have no idea what an ethical will is.<br /><br />Second...I found myself counting how many times "ethical will" is mentioned (13 times).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-89076747416646445732011-07-06T23:24:09.157-04:002011-07-06T23:24:09.157-04:00It might help to explain what an ethical will is i...It might help to explain what an ethical will is in your first paragraph, even if briefly. I spent the whole paragraph thinking that it had something to do with morality or fairness in dividing up your property between relatives.<br /><br />You're right that it isn't usually advisable to open the query with a rhetorical question. Those invite negative answers.<br /><br />I think if you incorporate some facts about ethical wills, per Jessica's suggestion--explaining what they are, and demonstrating that they're becoming a trend (stats, anyone?)--you'll be on stronger ground.Lucynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-55706545270966214012011-07-06T20:38:23.748-04:002011-07-06T20:38:23.748-04:00Jessica:
I agree with your comments 100 percent.
...Jessica:<br /><br />I agree with your comments 100 percent.<br /><br />Sheila CullSheila Cullhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07362436712218091138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-32807746731505627512011-07-06T19:37:48.589-04:002011-07-06T19:37:48.589-04:00Thanks for all the detailed feedback! For two year...Thanks for all the detailed feedback! For two years I obsessively checked email and US Mail only to recieve rejection after rejection. Reading your reviews is giving me a better understanding of the flaws in my queries. <br /><br />www.lesliedeaton.blogspot.comLeslie Deatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06160871418649007415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-84710299284969556292011-07-06T15:23:05.346-04:002011-07-06T15:23:05.346-04:00Thanks for the comments on Jessica's critique ...Thanks for the comments on Jessica's critique and the encouragement to keep going. It helps to hear what other people think about the topic.<br /><br />Andrew, I've tweaked the opening line several times, but wanted to avoid starting with a question. The title is also a work in progress, trying to make it stand out from the competition while conveying the content.<br /><br />I appreciate all the feedback!Beth (Elizabeth) LaMiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09526119783012440523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-78404217072491920262011-07-06T15:17:54.792-04:002011-07-06T15:17:54.792-04:00Jessica,
Thank you for the specific feedback on my...Jessica,<br />Thank you for the specific feedback on my non-fiction query letter. I admit getting conflicting advice on just how much detail to include in it.<br /><br />I especially appreciate knowing I need to better clarify what an Ethical Will is and is not.<br /><br />The information on your blog is quite informational and useful. I look forward to all your updates.Beth (Elizabeth) LaMiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09526119783012440523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-3924671711532259112011-07-06T13:36:13.630-04:002011-07-06T13:36:13.630-04:00The first line somehow reminds me of a certain tre...The first line somehow reminds me of a certain trend of freshman English papers, a sort of lifeless generalization that feels flat. "When people mature, they may be more concerned about..." doesn't draw me in.<br /><br />Take my advice with a grain of salt, because I'm on a bumpy road to success my own nonfiction proposal, but I'd be more drawn in with a personal touch, something that shows why ethical wills are important to you, your story of how you became excited about ethical wills, some intrigue for the reader.<br /><br />I also think the comparable titles work against you--if there are already ethical will books out there, you don't do much to show the personal style that makes you the right person to do the next one. And perhaps it's because of your own title. That is, if I saw two books on the shelf, one called "Write Your Ethical Will the Easy Way" and the other "The Wealth of Your Life; A Step-by-Step Guide for Creating Your Ethical Will," I'd be more interested in the "wealth of my life." I wouldn't want to do it easily, but to do it thoroughly and personally. I'd want something with meaning and depth, something with care and personality, rather than something that suggests I want to get this over with as painlessly as possible. I'd want the easy way to file my taxes or make an insurance claim; I'd want the sincere way to share my own values and stories with the next generation.Bija Andrew Wrighthttp://www.zenbija.com/wordpressnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-37105696922032723682011-07-06T12:45:30.073-04:002011-07-06T12:45:30.073-04:00Interesting to see a non-fiction proposal! I think...Interesting to see a non-fiction proposal! I think all the suggestions were great and it sounds like a good idea for a book. I have a family member who is practically expert-level geneologist, and she gets questions all the time for people looking for an easy way to share family history. This is a great way to do that to add to a family's historical records.Stephscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328839483008086049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23051453.post-74327550627910948812011-07-06T11:11:57.943-04:002011-07-06T11:11:57.943-04:00You learn something new everyday raeding the posts...You learn something new everyday raeding the posts here. I just googled for "Ethical Wills" (never heard about this before) and the trem used in the query is appropriate. The target audience might ne larger. Parents can write these will for their teenager children to read, as preparation for life. Good luck with the book.Giorahttp://giora-china.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com