The Trouble with Interviews

I just had an experience that I’ve never had before and I want to share it with you as a warning. As I’m sure you know I am frequently asked to do interviews or have articles written based on speaking I may have done at conferences or writer’s group meetings. Well, for the first time I came across an interview that really upset me. The author was clearly not a reporter and had done, what I feel, was a real hatchet job to our interview.

When all is said and done the interview made me sound horrible, harsh, and kind of mean. Now, I was a reporter for years, so I know what kind of leeway a reporter can have when writing a story, and I have been in situations where I’ve been told the direction the editor wanted the story to go and I should make it that way. Needless to say I quit that job. I also know how easy it is to twist what someone says simply by taking quotes out of context. Let me clarify, I don’t think this reporter did any of those things maliciously. I think she simply did not have the experience to know how to weave together a good article.

So now I’m stuck with a horrible article/interview floating around cyberspace that makes me look stupid, mean, and snarky, but not in a fun way. Unfortunately this is a risk we all take when doing interviews of any kind, and while we can ask to see a story before it runs, I know from my own experience that few reporters will allow such a thing.

I only hope that this story gets buried to the bottom of Google very quickly.

Jessica

Pitch Critiques Round 5

I’m baaack. How do you find an original introduction to all of these pitch critiques? You don’t. What I can tell you is that I’m learning how really hard it is to write a good pitch. The funny thing though is that when I look at most of the initial query letters made by the authors I represent, they all had pretty good pitches. In many cases I used those pitches as my own to publishers. This is why agents feel they can judge a book by its pitch. If the pitch has it all there, it’s likely the book does too. Just something to get you thinking. And here’s my requisite link to the original post, Perfecting Your Pitch).

25. jenny
ONE HIGHLAND NIGHT (time-travel romance):

When a meteoritic crystal opens a wormhole on the grounds of ruined Kilchurn Castle in the Scottish Highlands, trapping American physicist Elizabeth Martin over 300 years in the past, her cheating ex-fiancé becomes the least of her worries. Pursued by the politically avaricious Earl of Breadalbane, who wants to use her “Sight” to further his consolidation of power, her only choice is to take refuge with an outlaw clan—a temporary measure until she can find a way to return to her own time.

That’s the plan, at least, until she finds in Alec MacGregor, her handsome protector, a love worth giving up everything she’s ever known.

But it is the late seventeenth century, and while Scotland is torn by the power struggles between supporters of the exiled King James and the English who would seek to rule them, she and Alec are swept into the intrigues of Earls and Kings, and events that could take their lives...or separate them forever.

You do realize this is a pitch contest and not a synopsis contest, right? Way, way too long! And I haven’t even read it yet. The funny thing is that I really know nothing about your book. Do we really need to know how she ended up in the past? Probably not in quite that way. For some reason the fact that it was a meteoritic crystal and wormhole confused me because really this isn’t SF or Fantasy, it’s a fairly straightforward time travel/historical. And of course I’m easily confused. Why not just say, "When a meteorite hits the ruins of Kilchurn Castle, physicist Elizabeth Martin finds herself propelled 300 years in the past"? That’s simpler and helps you get to the point faster. Now, what’s the real conflict? What’s really going to make the reader grab this and read? "Forced to take refuge from a ruthless Earl, Elizabeth..."? I think you can easily get this into just a few short sentences.

26. anon 11:04
(Title) is a portal between the two worlds of mortal Glastonbury Proper and the magical world including the dark and mysterious Wysiwyg Wood (where what you see is what you get). The wood is full of magic, the truths of many legends held within its boundaries. Lionel and Eaglantine Griffin are the gatekeepers of the lake, who have great responsibility in keeping the Seeker of Justice and Retribution, Stormy Reed, safe from the evil Nefarious Nobleman. Stormy Reed is unaware of his magical beginnings or his mystical destiny, and in his dawning of discovery, he finds his world exploding with possibilities he is eager to explore.

Who is your protagonist and what is his challenge? Is it Stormy Read or Lionel and Eaglantine? In reading your pitch I know nothing about the story. I know about the setting and I know about the characters, but I don’t know what is going to be happening, and a pitch should really be about what’s happening. I think the pitch is probably the “possibilities he is eager to explore” as well as “his dawning discovery.”

27. wanda b. ontheshelves
Even in an Arctic ice palace, the initials "SC" in the center of a floor mural might not stand for Santa Claus. So Cassie Novotny, a 28-year-old architect turned wedding cake designer, learns upon encountering Sonya Chloe, a 270-year-old "Mother Frost," at Palais du Nord.

You know, your name alone might be enough to make me request the proposal. Very clever. Unfortunately, name alone doesn’t sell a book (unless of course your name is Seinfeld). So here we go . . . I have no idea what this is about. What is a cake designer doing in the Arctic? And who is Sonya Chloe and what does she have to do with anything? In other words, this pitch tells me nothing. Unless Santa Claus is in the story I wouldn’t bother including him at all. You need to get right to the plot and, of course, conflict.

28. april
(one sentence) Emma Grey and her mother Sylvia must take a chance on love to prevent the past from destroying their future.

(four sentences)Hearts are fragile things and in constant danger. Emma Grey is a ninteen year old dancer with a promising future. Her mother Sylvia is a woman who closed her heart to love after her husband left. When he returns, Emma and Sylvia learn that love is tough, but it may be worth the effort it takes to bring their family back together.

I think your one-sentence pitch is actually stronger than your four-sentence pitch. The problem with both though is that I want to know how their future could be destroyed. Why not make your entire pitch something more like, “Emma Grey and her mother Sylvia must take a chance on love to prevent the past from destroying their future. After ten long years Emma’s father finally returns home, but now he has a secret, a secret that could destroy them all unless Emma and Sylvia can learn to trust again”? Of course I have no idea if that has anything to do with the story, but I think it might give you an idea of what I mean. The true pitch here is the destroying-the-future part. Oh, and I would include more details than I did. Don’t try to be clever and vague. Is the secret that they are all really aliens? Or that they’re living on stolen money? Is it that they are in witness protection? Specifics make a stronger pitch.

29. erik
When you are 3 1/4 inches tall and thoughtless humans destroy your home, you want revenge. One Hopneg's journey in search of payback brings him something bigger, yet smaller. "Downriver" was written for teens but speaks to everyone who wants to be able to see those things we usually can't.

I need to know a little more about the journey. That’s your hook. This little creature in a big world. What is he doing for revenge? What does he face? As part of your pitch I don’t think you need to say who the book is for.

30. anon 11:31
Sara Garcia is a self-employed Dallas auditor, happiest working with spreadsheets, her laptop, and rows and columns of figures. But when her lifelong friend calls in a favor, Sara finds that in order to avoid killing a life-long friendship she could end up dead herself.

I think your opening sentence is great. Nothing revolutionary, but it gives us a really good idea of your character. Now I would assume that your second sentence is going to describe a situation that is totally the opposite of someone who is happiest working with spreadsheets. Therefore I think it could be stronger. “So when Sara finds herself tripping over a dead body, she knows the only way to get back to her spreadsheets is to find the murderer.” Okay, that’s boring too, but I think you know what I mean. What’s exciting? Here’s a sample pitch I made recently for a new mystery series. Okay, to be honest I stole this from the author, but here we go: “Tessa Silver believes she’s buried her past by changing her name and leaving behind a career in high tech to become a glass bead maker. She cannot shake her history so easily, however, and it leads the police straight to her when a competing glassworker is found dead with a copy of one of Tessa’s signature beads in her pocket. Tessa is determined to solve the mystery of the woman’s murder before police scrutiny forces her to reinvent herself yet again.”

And that’s it for today. Great work again. I’m off to continue my critiques. Still about a billion left to go.

Jessica

How Much Money Will I Make

I’ve done multiple posts now on questions you can, should, and might ask an agent before signing, but a reader came forward to ask me a question I hadn’t considered. Is it appropriate to ask an agent how much she thinks she’ll be able to sell the book for?

Of course I think the answer to this question depends greatly on the author’s personality and whether or not she is comfortable asking such a question. And authors have asked this question of me before signing. Strangely enough, I think they’ve all been nonfiction authors. While I do think it’s entirely appropriate to ask the question, it does put the agent a bit on the hot seat, and of course none of us likes that. For you, though, it’s a great testing ground. It’s the kind of question that’s really going to throw most agents, and the kind of answer that will give you a real look into how this agent probably operates.

While it’s unlikely you’ll get a straight answer, because it’s unlikely the agent has a straight answer, how the agent does answer can say a lot about how comfortable you might be working with such a person. In other words, I wouldn’t base your decision in choosing an agent on how much money she thinks she can get for you, but instead how straightforward she is when answering. How honest is she with you, or how honest do you feel she is? The truth is that agents don’t really know the answer. She can give a ballpark based on her experiences of how much she thinks a publisher might offer, but until she talks to editors who have read the book and knows the passion they feel for it, she won’t know how much they are willing to fight for it—which is when the real money comes in.

Okay. I’ll stop talking in circles now. What I’m trying to say is that I would be wary of the agent who gives a fantastical figure and sounds like she’s promising to get you that kind of money. I would also be wary of the agent who gets mad at you for even asking. I would, however, seriously consider the agent who takes the time to explain how the money process works and what sort of range you might expect based on the subject of your book, its “hotness” factor, your experience, etc. An agent who is as open and honest about your question as she can be.

I’m curious, though. Have any of you asked agents this question, and what kind of responses did you receive?

Jessica

Pitch Critiques Round 4

I’m going with this until I finish the critiques. Which, at this rate, could be well into 2008. What does that mean? That means if you want to add your pitch, go ahead and add your pitch (in the original post, please: October 25 workshop on Perfecting Your Pitch). I’ll let you know when it’s time to stop.

19. abi
(Title) blends the quirkiness of small town life with that of a magical world, and is vividly depicted, just as those authored by J. K. Rowling, Christopher Paolini, and J. R. R. Tolkien. Reading (Title) will take you on a journey that will have you laughing and crying, coming and going, and always wanting more. You will feel as though you are a part of the story, and not just the reader. Smell the aromas and satisfy your taste buds by sampling the recipes scattered throughout the book.

This is another case of show don’t tell. Remember, a pitch is not a book report, it’s a pitch, which means that in addition to telling the reader about your story you want to give her a sense of atmosphere, voice, and tone. This would be so much stronger if you did something more along the lines of, “In the vein of J. K. Rowling, Christopher Paolini, and J. R. R. Tolkien, (Title) introduces you to Frank, a magical child who finds himself...” What you have here is a sense of what you’re doing for the reader, which tells me nothing about the book. Think of it this way: if someone came up to you and said you have to read this book, it will make you feel as if you are a part of the story, would that make you buy it? Doubtful. Any good book should do that. Any good book should make the reader lose herself and smell the aromas, etc. What you need to do is tell us about plot and conflict.

20. anon 10:26
When sixteen-year-old Marta Carlitos experiences a terrible car accident that leaves her in a coma, she finds herself trapped outside her physical body and tethered to her bed-bound form by a damaged spectral cord. Sentenced to float above her body --- and able to see and hear everything but not communicate with the physical world --- she befriends three other souls trapped outside their comatose bodies.

Soon, Marta realizes she must solve the puzzle of healing their frayed cords in order to enable herself and her friends to rejoin their bodies and the physical world. But when one of her “friends’ tries to thwart her plans in order to keep her with him and away from the world, Marta realizes it’s going to take all her power to heal herself before her parents decide to pull the plug.

First, let me say, this is kind of weird. Weird good though. I think you have a really cool idea. However, my first reaction to your pitch is that it’s too long. You definitely have something there and it’s something that would make me seriously consider asking for more, but you miss the point by trying to reveal too much. Could you cut it down to this: “When sixteen-year-old Marta Carlitos experiences a terrible car accident that leaves her in a coma, she finds herself trapped outside her physical body and tethered to her bed-bound form by a damaged spectral cord. Sentenced to float above her body --- and able to see and hear everything but not communicate with the physical world --- she befriends three other souls trapped outside their comatose bodies. In order to return to the physical world it’s up to Marta to heal their frayed cords, but what will happen when not everyone wants to be healed?” I think my version is a little better, but I still feel like it’s missing something. The last sentence should really be what happens if... What’s the ticking time bomb. What is Marta up against? What really happens on a grand scale if they don’t get healed, and I think it has to be more than Marta’s death. I imagine you have something bigger in the book, a larger conflict, and that needs to be added in here.

21. anon 10:32
There are pleasant ways to die and dreadful ways to die. But dying of insomnia? Now that would suck.

What fun! This made me laugh and made me want more. This is enough to hook me in, but now, ideally, in a query letter you would have a paragraph that’s just as brilliantly written that would tell me exactly what the book is about, because what you have here is a tagline, not a pitch. It’s enough to grab someone’s attention, but not enough to get them to buy a book.

22. jodi
Think the Bourne Identity meets Kill Bill in Singapore.

The problem here . . . I’ve never read a Bourne book, and since I’m not much of a movie watcher (note to everyone submitting to me) I’ve never seen either of these movies. So basically, this is lost on me. However, even if I had seen these movies I still need more. This is a tagline, but not a pitch. To give you an example or how to pitch by comparing your book, here’s the tagline I wrote for Karen MacInerney’s Howling at the Moon: Tales of an Urban Werewolf: "Charlaine Harris meets Mary Janice Davidson in this series featuring Sophie Garou, a twenty-eight-year-old whose life is just about perfect—except for one minor detail . . . she's also a werewolf." Again, I also have a paragraph that followed, but this is enough of a tagline to grab the editor’s attention and actually give her some of the book’s details. You now know how it’s like the two books I’m comparing it to.

23. lauren j
In 1999, Lainie Walter sets off on a journey to find her roots in Poland. Although she planned to travel alone, her friend, Josh Stiller, tagged along at the last minute. Here, in a world that she doesn’t fully comprehend, Lainie sees ghosts. One ghost in particular haunts her journey, the ghost of her great aunt Sura. In New York, Lainie had not known of Sura’s existence. Now, she learns of Sura’s life, marriage, children and death. This takes on huge importance, as Sura needs Lainie’s help to locate her daughter. As Lainie tries to sort all this out, Stiller blurts out that he came along because he’s in love with her and wants a chance at a relationship. Against this foreign backdrop, Lainie must try and find Sura’s daughter and decide whether she is ready to commit to love.

Well, I know what the conflict is, but the problem is that I’m not at all inspired by it. It seems to be that you’re trying to throw everything into this pitch and forgetting the most exciting part—the pitch. What about something like this, “In search of her roots in Poland, Lainie Walter finds more than just the stories of the past, she actually meets the ghosts. But it’s that of her great grandmother that haunts her most. Sura needs Lainie’s help in finding her daughter....”? And now I need to know why. Why is it so important that Sura find her daughter and what impact does that have on Lainie? That’s your conflict. As you have it written now it’s a very staid story of a search and love, but nothing really out of the ordinary. I see nothing wrong with mentioning Stiller’s love for Lainie, but it seems to me that’s your secondary storyline, unless I’m reading this wrong.

24. l.e. Hollis
My fantasy novel is about two young sisters trying to rescue their family from the Inquisition in a world of alchemy and witchcraft. One sister is turned into a dragon to be used as a weapon of the Church, but she breaks free of their control. The other has an inquisitor who betrayed the Church trapped in her mind, granting her his skills as a champion fencer.

Show, don’t tell. This pitch is a snooze. It reads like a third-grade book report. You have some really great ideas, but none of them come through here. How about something along the lines of, “In a world of alchemy and witchcraft, it’s up to two young girls to save their family from the Inquisition. When Sally is turned into a dragon and used as a weapon of the Church, June knows she must . . .”? As the pitch reads it sounds awfully depressing. You’re not telling me the conflict these characters face (or even any indication of who they are); instead it seems you are telling me the outcome.

And that’s it for today. Great work again. I’m off to continue my critiques. Only about a billion left to go.

Jessica

Query Recap

It seems you like to see query recaps from me. So here’s another. I was out of the office October 12-21. It took me until today to get through the queries from that time away. So here’s a statistical breakdown of what happened to them. . . .

Total equeries received: 100 (Keep in mind that this does not include the pile of proposals and snail-mail queries that were also waiting upon my return.)

• Total I fished out of the spam filter: 11
• Total rejected: 76
• Total requested: 7
• Requested fulls: 1
• Used the Wrong Name (i.e., Jennifer Fraust): 2
• Total from a country outside of the US or Canada: 7
• Emails checking submission status or the arrival of material: 5
• Young Adult submissions (which I don’t represent): 3
• Emails begging me to take a second look at the query or chastising me for rejecting them without reading more than a query: 1
• Examples of queries rejected for word count issues: 15,000-word nonfiction; 225,000-word fiction
• Queries I had to jump on over vacation (requesting a full be sent to my mom’s home): 1 (later rejected)
• Thank yous for previous rejections: 1
• Queries that included nothing but a Web link: 1
• Odd items that only confused me: 3

• “please contact me at this phone number. I’ve written a book.”
• follow-up email that reads like a new query. I wasn’t sure if it was a query or a status check.
• response to a rejection asking me to keep the work in mind when I have an opening on my list. I can contact at . . .

• Request for submission guidelines: 1
• Submission with a long list of titles: 3
• Submissions made to all three of us in one email: 2
• Addressed to the wrong agent: 1
• Number of equeries I passed to either Kim or Jacky: 3

So that's it.

Enjoy!

Jessica

Pitch Critiques Round 3

Here we go again! More critiques from the October 25 workshop on Perfecting Your Pitch. Thank you again to all the brave souls who put themselves out there. Over the course of the next several weeks I will go through pitch-by-pitch and give my critique. Feel free to comment and give your own critiques, ask further questions, or just tell us what you thought. This was a lot of fun for me and I might, just might, do it again sometime (if I ever get through this pile).

13. jp
Tag line for my amateur sleuth mystery:
Some families have skeletons in their closets . . . others have SKELETAL REMAINS.

Huh? This is clearly a case of shooting yourself with cleverness. While I see what you’re trying to do, in the end you haven’t given me any information about this book. Is it a family of sleuths who find actual bones in the closet? Is it a family of skeletons? I’m afraid that with so little information I can’t be of much help beyond that.

14. therapistwriter
When Letty Whittaker, psychotherapist and recovering alcoholic, responds to a Twelve Step call from an old friend at the tail-end of a binge, she doesn’t expect to find Vicky brutally murdered. Finding herself in possession of Vicky’s Fourth Step (the infamous list of resentments) and unable to turn it over to the cops without blowing her anonymity, Letty uses the List to track down the people Vicky was angry at- and those whom she has angered.

I like this idea, it’s interesting. I’m afraid though that it’s another of those that I read, sit on, open again a few days later, and pass on. I’m assuming this is an amateur sleuth/cozy series. That’s what it feels like to me based on the writing. If that’s the case I’m not sure a recovering alcoholic is enough to carry a series. After all, if you pay close attention to mystery fiction, most cops or detectives seem to be either alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. What else does Letty bring to the table? What else do you have for a hook? As for the pitch itself I think it can be tightened and spruced up. Overall, though, while it’s not bad, it’s not really catchy enough. What about something more like this: “Responding to a Twelve Step call in the middle of the night is nothing unusual for Letty Whittaker, psychotherapist and recovering alcoholic, but finding the caller murdered is. Now in possession of Vicky’s Fourth Step (the infamous list of resentments) and unable to turn it over to the cops without blowing her anonymity, Letty uses the List to track down the people Vicky was angry at--and those whom she has angered”? I think it still needs help and I think that help will have to come from the story itself. One thought is why is she so concerned with Vicky’s anonymity? She was murdered. Does that really seem enough of a reason to possibly derail a murder investigation? And wouldn’t the cops already know who Vicky is? I find this very puzzling and hard to swallow.

15. amy m
A man who can possess people meets the one woman he cannot - and is immediately smitten.

There’s definitely something here. I like it and I’m intrigued. I think this is one of those cases though where another sentence or two might help strengthen your cause. My one concern, though, is that there’s something about this short pitch that makes the book feel too simple. Too much like a category romance and not like a single title. It could be because your entire focus is on the romance and no other conflict. Of course if it is category you’re in good shape.

16. alexis fleming
Terror Awakes, an eighty thousand word Futuristic Romance, is the story of a woman with the psychic ability to walk in other people’s dreams and the planetary police officer who doubts her word, but is willing to use her to catch a serial killer when she stumbles into the killer’s dreams.

I’m concerned that you’re confusing a pitch with the query letter here and getting bogged down in details. Pull out your word count immediately. While the title and genre are okay in a pitch they aren’t necessary. Word count just bogs things down and gives the agent too much of a lull before getting to the point. Interesting. This is similar to an earlier pitch about a heroine who could read people’s souls by looking into their eyes. Different of course, but reminiscent. Don’t say anything like, “this is the story,” you weaken your point that way. Jump right into it as you would the book. That also helps agents get a sense for your voice and style. What about something like this (and of course I’m making up details since I don’t know them): “The year is 2045 and planetary police officer Jeff Gibbons is on the biggest hunt of his life, for the deadliest serial killer the planet has ever known. Time is running out and there’s only one person he can turn to, the one he isn’t sure he can trust. Joyce Frank and her unique ability to walk into the dreams of others is the only hope he has left, but will his decision come too late?”? Something along these lines—that gets into the heart of the story—is stronger. Although I don’t think my version is perfect either. Still a little too vague.

17. kate
Fantasy Novel (Untitled)
Ellusia Carver is the first child born that has survived, since the Breaking of the World. Her father's Kingdom is suspended high up in the clouds with the aid of the Magicians of Tove while the world below them boils in a turmoil of dragons and fire.

The Kingdom is in civil unrest and the King's brother is gaining more favour as he steps up his search for a safe place to settle their fragile land. The King, however, wants to reach upwards and develop the pact he entered into with the Ethereans, who saved his daughter’s life, but at what cost? In the middle of this Ellusia is growing up isolated and confused. When her brother is killed she becomes the sole heir to the throne of a Kingdom that is turning against her.

Uff da! Too long. My first concern is that your first paragraph makes absolutely no sense to me. You’re dropping in a lot of information that I probably don’t need to know at all at this point and that only confuses me. In fact, the second doesn’t help much either. What’s the real conflict here? When does the story really get going? Does it start moving at the Breaking of the World or the pact with the Ethereans? Is it about Ellusia or about her father? I think you need to clarify exactly who the protagonist is and what the conflict is. It seems to me your pitch is more along the lines of, “Ellusia Carver has led a protected and spoiled life as princess in her father’s Kingdom high above the clouds, but when civil unrest hits and her brother is killed, Ellusia is forced to leave her protected world to battle the beasts so many tried so hard to keep her away from.” Or something that would be of course much better then that. I think you get the point though.

18. colorado writer
Freedom Jane McKenzie, mibster extraordinaire, navigates the world of boys, Barbie and brothers in a coming of age story set in 1959 Idaho Falls, Idaho.

I’m sorry. I have no idea what a “mibster” is and I wonder if that’s why I’m confused. Am I missing something? More important, what’s coming of age about Barbie, boys and brothers that’s different from anyone else’s childhood? A pitch needs to make your book stand out. Was Freedom Jane raised without a mother and forced to fend for herself? Did she one day see a murder? Did she think she was really meant to be a boy? Do you see where I’m going with this? As you’ve written it now there’s no story here.

And that’s it for today. Great work again. I hope as always I’ve been of some help, and of course I know that I’ll be corrected and thrashed if I was out of line ;)

Keep an eye out for the next group.

Jessica

The Fall of a Publisher

As anyone involved in romance writing knows, there have been a number of small publishers, epublishers and otherwise, who have closed their doors lately. This has caused panic, upset, and general insanity of course. Not that I’m blaming anyone but the publishers. It’s upsetting when you spend months and years looking for a publisher and finally find one you think is reputable, because you have done your research, only to learn that they are completely irresponsible. It’s even more upsetting when you discover that your book might very well be held up in their bankruptcy hearings for quite some time.

Since I’m not part of authors' loops or groups I don’t often hear the scuttlebutt that goes on behind closed doors, but one kind reader alerted me to some of the panic and asked that I make some attempt to try to calm people and quell their nerves. This silly reader thinks people actually listen to me. While I’m flattered, I’m not sure I can do any good.

What I have been told is that some writers are urging those who have books or proposals with these houses to rush out and register a poor man’s copyright (by the way, there’s no need to do this in any instance ever, but I suppose it can’t hurt); they are being told to retitle the book or change the characters so they can sell it elsewhere. Folks. None of this is going to work. The first thing you need to do is, if you are under contract, officially terminate the agreement. Demand that rights be reverted in a letter sent by you, your lawyer, or your agent via certified mail. Then you need to wait. Yes, I’m afraid you’ll need to wait and see how things play out a little. No publisher is going to want to touch a book that might get them into legal entanglements, so changing a title or a few character names is risky business for you, for the publisher, and for your career. Do you really want to go down that road?

My best suggestion is to place your focus, at least for the moment, on your next book. Make that something that another publisher would really want and, in the meantime, work at getting those rights legally back from the defunct publisher.

As for whether or not you are owed money by these publishers, you need to talk to a lawyer about that. You need to follow your contract’s accounting clause and demand an accounting of the books. And you need to decide if the cost of said lawyer or CPA is going to be worth what you really might be owed for those books. In any bankruptcy situation people lose. Those that are likely to see some money are those that are owed the most. My guess is authors are not on the top of this list.

I wish I had better news for you. I truly feel horrible for all the authors caught up in this mess and wish all of them well. For now, though, keep looking forward.

Jessica

A Day in the Life/Market Updates

It’s been a busy crazy week at BookEnds, but since it’s Friday and things have quieted down just a little I thought I could touch base to tell you what’s been going on both at my desk and in publishing in general.

Since Labor Day I’ve been busy with submissions and client work. I think most of my clients spent the summer writing and were ready to send me new books and new ideas once the leaves started to fall. You know, it’s really, really cool when you can read a client’s book and actually get the same chills all over again that you got when you first discovered her in the slush pile. Of course it’s even cooler when you send those books out to editors and they get chills too.

I also had a fun situation where two nonfiction authors I worked with years ago both reentered the picture. Both authors had published books at least three years ago and while we maintained our official author/agent relationship, things have been pretty quiet since their books came out. Coincidentally this week I heard from two different editors seeking books that made these clients immediately come to mind. I got in touch and both are working on book proposals as we speak.

I’ve finalized a couple of contracts this week that I’m very excited about. The paperwork is with the authors now for signature and shortly I’ll get the deals posted on Publisher’s Marketplace. I think I had mentioned that BookEnds is doing an entire contract (re)evaluation lately. We are going through all contracts clause-by-clause and discussing how we can better strengthen our boilerplates with all publishers. It’s been a fun exercise for all three of us. Okay, maybe not fun, but really useful and what we’re doing has already come into play with my negotiations. A big part of my job is to work to continually build stronger contracts for my clients and keep updated on new and ever-changing language.

And of course, it was Halloween! I skipped out early to do some trick-or-treating. We had great weather here and I even got a Snickers bar or two.

With all all of the submitting I’m doing lately it’s given me a real opportunity to touch base with editors and see what everyone is up to.

Kim said that the one thing she’s hearing over and over is that romance editors are excited about the resurgence of interest in historicals. It seems everyone is hunting for new, fresh historical romance voices so you historical authors should get cracking. You’re in demand again!

In talking with an editor at Avon I learned that publishing their Avon Red titles in mass market didn’t go nearly as well as they had hoped and it seems, at least from their perspective, that erotic romance buyers are a trade paperback audience and not mass market. She also said that for them single theme (erotic romance) novella collections by the same author sell better than full-length novels (again for Avon Red).

I also talked to an editor who recently made a change to Hearst Books, a division of Sterling Publishing. I have never sold to Hearst or talked to an editor there so I was interested in hearing more. She explained to me that most of the Hearst Books titles stem from content already existing in the Hearst magazines (including Redbook, Country Living, and Cosmopolitan) but they are planning to expand that list in new ways, especially into health and parenting and a little bit into career books.  Any potential author would have to be comfortable writing with the magazine's voice and would, of course, need a strong platform.  

An editor at Bantam told me she is hungry to add more contemporary romances to her list right now while a former romance editor at Grand Central let me know that she’s looking for female driven suspense and pop culture/commercial nonfiction (she’s no longer handling romance).

An editor at Kensington told me that their mystery list is booked pretty solid for a while, but he would love to see thrillers along the lines of Vince Flynn. He did remind me though that everyone is looking for those (and of course they/we are).

And lastly, I met a new editor at St. Martin’s. Not new really, but new to me. He’s someone who has what he calls a “guy” list, with a lot of military, sports, outdoor adventure, pop culture, humor and the occasional thriller.

I’m actually running out the door right now. I’m finally, finally getting a new laptop. I’ve been waiting for months for Leopard to be released (the new Mac operating system for those who might live in a cave) so I’m off to the Apple store to discuss how big and fast I really need said laptop to be. Should I be embarrassed by how excited I am? Christmas can’t hold a candle to a trip the the Apple store.

--Jessica

Have a great weekend everyone!

When Submission Guidelines Change

I received a question from an author who was introduced to Kim a year ago and was told to send something based on our submission guidelines when she had it ready. Unfortunately, as many of you know, our submission guidelines have changed in the past year and this author is now wondering how exactly she should submit. Based on the old guidelines, the ones in effect when she first met Kim (the guidelines that allowed for unsolicited proposal submissions) or the new guidelines, the ones that prefer email queries? When in doubt, follow the rules.

In other words, while I’m not Kim, my suggestion would always be that when in doubt, simply query and ask. Send an equery reminding Kim of your meeting, wowing her with your book, etc., and see what she says. Then you’ll know from her exactly what she prefers, you follow the rules, and you don’t have to second-guess yourself.

Jessica

Pitch Critiques Round 2

Six more critiques from the October 25 workshop on Perfecting Your Pitch. This is really fun, so thanks again to everyone who was willing to put themselves out there. Over the course of the next several weeks I will go through pitch-by-pitch and give my critique. Feel free to comment and give your own critiques, ask further questions, or just tell us what you thought.

7. Caroline Smith
Sometimes white picket fences can turn into iron bars. At 45, Jennifer has everything she's always dreamed of - husband, children and security. Why then does she feel as if her life has been placed on pause? A story of discovery, adjustment and new beginnings.

I hate to do this to you, but snooze. Almost all women’s fiction are stories of “discovery, adjustment and new beginnings.” This is exactly what I mean when I warn against describing your book by using themes. Few readers care what the theme of a book is. We don’t buy a book based on themes. We buy because we’re looking for a riveting plot and engaging characters. Your first sentence is strong. I like that a lot in fact, but now you need to show me how that happened for her or what that means for her or what she’s going to do about it. In other words, now that Jennifer (and the reader) feel that the white picket fence has turned into iron bars, what happens? Does she have a torrid love affair? Does she pack up and leave her husband and kids? Does she dye her hair purple and join a punk band? We know the internal conflict for Jennifer, now we need more action, we need to know what’s going on externally.

8. Aimless Writer
Eyes of My Killer: (Romantic Suspense) Misty reads eyes. She only needs to glance deep within your eyes to see your soul, your past and future. When she comes eye to eye with a serial killer Misty goes to the police for help.

Max Jennings is a by the book cop and he’s on the trail of the nastiest serial killer in Angel Fall’s history. When Misty McAllister walks into his squad room and declares she knows who the Angel Fall’s Strangler is because she met him at the mall, Max labels her a whacko. When the strangler leaves a message on Misty’s door step in the form of a dead body Max labels her a suspect, but Misty insists it’s a warning.

Interesting idea. This is one of those queries that I would close up again immediately after reading. It has me unsure, so therefore I wouldn’t answer right away. It would sit in my in-box for another day or two, I’d open it again, and in all likelihood I’d reject it. Disappointing because you were oh, so close. The idea is good. I like the idea of someone who can see your soul so easily. I think that’s an interesting concept. What doesn’t work here is that I think I can read the flaws in your book through your pitch. If Misty knows who the killer is, where’s the suspense? By revealing the killer so early you base the entire book on Max’s inability to believe her. That’s going to make for an irritating read. Of course, I’m not sure if the book is actually written this way, but what about something more along the lines of, “With just one glance into another’s eyes, Misty can see into a person’s soul. A skill that’s been known to get her in a lot of trouble in the past. But nothing beats the day she comes eye to eye with a serial killer, who knows what she’s seen. Now Misty is in a race for her life and only one man can help her, the one who doesn’t believe her”?

9. Tess Harrison
Every man has a breaking point, even Jonas Pride. So when the visions start again, he has no choice but to face the destiny he’s spent his life fighting against. Because this time, the only woman to break his restraint and make him crave her touch is the one woman his enemy is using to claim him as one of their own.

This is a problem I see a lot in pitches. Authors think they have a really great opening line, but don’t tie it in at all to the rest of the pitch. I don’t get how the breaking point really ties into the entire book. It’s a great setup, but is it only about craving the touch of one woman, because that’s going to be a pretty uninteresting book. I think your pitch is really about the enemy trying to claim him as one of their own. What do you mean by that? Who is the enemy? Why are they trying to claim him and what could this mean for Jonas? That’s your pitch. More along the lines of, “Jonas Pride is a man who lives alone and works alone. He’s never needed the touch of another until he meets Maria—a woman who makes him crave her touch and also promises to be the one person who can destroy him...”? Okay, that wasn’t very good at all, but I think you get the picture. We need to get to the conflict in the plot. The external conflict.

10. tammie
At the Knickerbocker Hotel in Chicago, James meets and falls in love with Mara who is planning her wedding to another man. After a night discovering that the lives they each have planned might not be right, the two make a pact to meet each year no matter the status of their lives. Once A Year is an updated version of the Alan Alda movie, Same Time, Next Year. Alternating points of views Mara and James hit heavy topics that touched each decade from the mid 70’s all the way to 2002.

Hmm. I have to admit that I’m immediately turned off by the fact that it’s an updated movie. I never saw the movie, but let’s face it, even with the biggest Hollywood stars on board, few updated versions of old movies do well. I think a book would be a disaster. In other words, there’s no need to tell anyone that. So on to the real pitch. Is the book really about the fact that they make plans to meet each other each year? Or is it about what happens each year? I have a hard time picturing how this will be written and what the conflict will be. Is it a series of vignettes taking place on the same day in a new year, or do we follow one of the characters and see how she deals with this relationship as well as her own life? As you have this written now I don’t see what the story is at all.

11. antony
(Comic crime)
A bigamist conman dies and leaves behind the score from his last job and a team he hasn't yet paid. When the team make plans to steal the money they're owed, the first question they have to answer is: which wife did he leave it to?

Your first line didn’t interest me at all. In fact I was sort of irritated at how uninterested I was (yes, that can happen), but your second line made me laugh out loud. That’s a good sign. In other words, the pitch should probably not be about the con man, but about the team. What about something like this, “A team of con artists is left with one baffling question after the death of their bigamist leader: which wife now holds the score from the last job? In a series of escapades...”? In other words, I really need to know what happens now and what kind of book this is. Is it a bigamist Italian Job? Or is it The Usual Suspects? What’s the conflict for this team besides finding the wife, because if that’s the only conflict, all we have to do is drive from house to house and search under mattresses (so to speak).

12. elizabeth bemis
Megan Miller is on her honeymoon (sans groom) in an effort to get over the louse who dumped her days before her wedding. So far, she’s met a guy who isn’t what he seems, been shot at, jumped overboard into (potentially) shark infested waters and stranded in the Mayan jungle with nothing but the clothes on her back and a copy of the Girls’ Guide to Hero-Hunting and an undercover FBI Agent named Rey Rodriguez. So far, she’s ignored the book’s every piece of advice, and yet, Rey is proving time and again to be her hero. The question is: will he still be her hero, after their “holiday”?

***Please note: this author submitted a later, updated version, but since I’d already critiqued this one she’ll get critiques on both. You can see if the changes she submitted made a difference.

I hate to say this, but been there done that. There have been many books and millions of book proposals about a bride taking the honeymoon alone. I wouldn’t even bother to mention it. I need to know what makes this book really different. I suspect this is romantic comedy, but we need something more. Does the Girls’ Guide to Hero-Hunting play a huge role in the story? If so, that’s your pitch. Your pitch is to show how that book is influencing her decisions, and not in the best ways. We’ll also need to know a little more about why she might be shot at and stranded in the jungle.

And that’s it for today. Great work! Keep an eye out for the next group.

Jessica