BookEnds will be closed today through Sunday for the holiday.
Have a happy Thanksgiving and we'll see you again on Monday.
—Jessica, Jacky, and Kim
BookEnds has moved! We can now be found at www.bookendsliterary.com BookEnds Literary Agency represents commercial fiction and nonfiction for readers of all ages and in this space we hope to provide advice and inspiration for writers. Our goal is to teach, enlighten and build a community for writers, agents and editors.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Pitch Critiques Round 7
Here we go again . . . critiques as per Perfecting Your Pitch.
37. mary jelinek
One sentence:
Benny Sherman helps a wayward fairy win back his wings and, in the process, finds his own.
Paragraph:
In the wake of his parents’ separation, Benny and his mother move from their comfortable suburban home to his Grandma’s overcrowded bungalow. To make matters worse, the sixth grader is forced to attend Catholic school where he’s sure to feel as out of place as he does stumbling through prayers at Christmas Mass. The last thing he needs is, “...to follow some imaginary creatures on a quest to find a fictitious amulet. Not even cool creatures, either. I get sissy fairies.”
LOL! The last line is great. Who can beat that? I think your one-sentence pitch is really good. It definitely grabs my attention and leads me to want more. I also think your paragraph is very strong. Terrific in fact. My only comment might be to limit the quote to, “Not even cool creatures, either. I get sissy fairies.” And explain in a tad more detail (in your own voice) what he’s being asked to do and why. Why is key, I think, because that shows us motivation. Very, very good though! This should definitely get you requests from agents and editors.
38. precie
Urban YA entitled "Tin Man":
A Philadelphia latch-key kid raised on a steady diet of 1980s movies and his mother's urban paranoia, 15-year-old Quentin sees danger everywhere. When his teenage neighbor, Claire, is taken by "the police," his gallantly absurd quest to rescue her evolves into a battle against dangers more powerful and sinister than he ever could have imagined.
Another terrific pitch. I think you all are getting better. My only concern is that there’s a bit of a "show, don’t tell" alert going on here. Make sure your pitch represents the tone of your book. This feels like someone else telling me about your book. What about making it more active? Something like, “Raised on a steady diet of 1980s movies and his mother’s urban paranoia, 15-year-old Quentin sees danger everywhere. When next-door neighbor Claire is taken by 'the police,' Quentin’s gallantly absurd quest to rescue her evolves into a battle against dangers more powerful and sinister than he could ever have imagined”? I think my changes are minor and subtle, but should give you an idea of what I mean by making your pitch more active and more exciting.
39. Julie
....To escape the tyranny of an English King and to fulfill her dying father's wishes for her to seek a free and independent life, Maura McCoveny would have to keep many secrets at a cost almost too high for her to bear....
Snooze. This doesn’t sound any different from any other historical novel I frequently see. This is much too general—focusing on things like freedom, independence, and a high cost. Almost every book should contain conflict that is of a high cost to the protagonist. What is specific about Maura’s battle that will inspire readers to come to it?
40. jamr
Kit Anderson (14) thinks she’s entered hell when her father’s new job forces a family move from plumeria-scented Honolulu to frigid Seoul in the winter of 1974. She decides to channel her energy into escaping Korea, whatever the cost.
This means living by a new set of operating principles such as “Everyone and everything can be used.” Kit’s selfish code of conduct leads her into black-marketing, theft and a life of deceit. It takes a tragic accident and a temporary return to Hawaii to discover that she’s become a person she doesn’t like and to realize that Korea offers adventures that her friends in Hawaii could never imagine.
Granted I don’t know the YA market all that well, but my immediate concern is the date. If your book doesn’t need to be set in 1974, why set it there? It’s not a time period that’s considered historical and not one I’m sure would be of interest to that age group. That in itself might give agents reason to reject unless you can prove a need for it. Overall though I think this is a fairly strong pitch; I’m not sure if I would ask to see more though. It sounds through the pitch like Kit’s a pretty unlikeable character.
41. c.j.
Sitting beside her mother’s deathbed, Annika is awakened to the fact that the man grieving beside her is not her real father. She leaves her family in Kiev and, with the help of long withheld information from this stepfather, retraces the short life of the father she never knew. FLAKES BLOOM follows Annika on her old Voskhod motorcycle as she travels past the government guards and into Pripyat, the now abandoned town once populated by the workers of the Chernobyl Power Plant.
It sounds to me like this is a beautifully written story. How can I tell that? The voice definitely comes through as well as the pace of the book. I think this is a strong pitch, although we still need to know a little more about the conflict Annika faces. A line at the end about what she must come up against once she arrives in Pripyat would be helpful.
42. trina allen
Katharine Taylor has never transmutated into an animal, a dragon or a mountain lion. She has never traveled to the past through her magic quilt, nor faced armies of insects and the evil wizard Dr. Ziegawart. All Katharine knows is an unhappy life with an alcoholic mother, but all that is about to change when she learns that she is a wizard and travels to a turbulent time in Boston just before the Revolutionary War. Caught up in the dramatic events that pit the King’s soldiers against their own people, Katharine finds in her new friends the strength to face her destiny.
I like the beginning a lot. I think the first three sentences are terrific. What a great Harry Potter-like book without going straight to telling us that. However, this is another case where the ending lost its fire. I guess I’m not sure I want to read about a wizard who ends up in Boston. Where’s the magic? Where’s the army of insects? The fun of a wizard book, or of any fantasy, is the fantasy. In your description of what’s actually going to happen you neglect to tell us about the fantasy. Since it seems your target is probably a younger audience, my question to you is would a 12-year-old (for example) be interested in reading about the “strength to face her destiny”? or are they more interested in reading about evil wizards and magic quilts? That’s what we want to hear about in the last sentences.
Good work as always. I think the pitches are getting stronger as I go, or I’m getting softer. . . .
Jessica
37. mary jelinek
One sentence:
Benny Sherman helps a wayward fairy win back his wings and, in the process, finds his own.
Paragraph:
In the wake of his parents’ separation, Benny and his mother move from their comfortable suburban home to his Grandma’s overcrowded bungalow. To make matters worse, the sixth grader is forced to attend Catholic school where he’s sure to feel as out of place as he does stumbling through prayers at Christmas Mass. The last thing he needs is, “...to follow some imaginary creatures on a quest to find a fictitious amulet. Not even cool creatures, either. I get sissy fairies.”
LOL! The last line is great. Who can beat that? I think your one-sentence pitch is really good. It definitely grabs my attention and leads me to want more. I also think your paragraph is very strong. Terrific in fact. My only comment might be to limit the quote to, “Not even cool creatures, either. I get sissy fairies.” And explain in a tad more detail (in your own voice) what he’s being asked to do and why. Why is key, I think, because that shows us motivation. Very, very good though! This should definitely get you requests from agents and editors.
38. precie
Urban YA entitled "Tin Man":
A Philadelphia latch-key kid raised on a steady diet of 1980s movies and his mother's urban paranoia, 15-year-old Quentin sees danger everywhere. When his teenage neighbor, Claire, is taken by "the police," his gallantly absurd quest to rescue her evolves into a battle against dangers more powerful and sinister than he ever could have imagined.
Another terrific pitch. I think you all are getting better. My only concern is that there’s a bit of a "show, don’t tell" alert going on here. Make sure your pitch represents the tone of your book. This feels like someone else telling me about your book. What about making it more active? Something like, “Raised on a steady diet of 1980s movies and his mother’s urban paranoia, 15-year-old Quentin sees danger everywhere. When next-door neighbor Claire is taken by 'the police,' Quentin’s gallantly absurd quest to rescue her evolves into a battle against dangers more powerful and sinister than he could ever have imagined”? I think my changes are minor and subtle, but should give you an idea of what I mean by making your pitch more active and more exciting.
39. Julie
....To escape the tyranny of an English King and to fulfill her dying father's wishes for her to seek a free and independent life, Maura McCoveny would have to keep many secrets at a cost almost too high for her to bear....
Snooze. This doesn’t sound any different from any other historical novel I frequently see. This is much too general—focusing on things like freedom, independence, and a high cost. Almost every book should contain conflict that is of a high cost to the protagonist. What is specific about Maura’s battle that will inspire readers to come to it?
40. jamr
Kit Anderson (14) thinks she’s entered hell when her father’s new job forces a family move from plumeria-scented Honolulu to frigid Seoul in the winter of 1974. She decides to channel her energy into escaping Korea, whatever the cost.
This means living by a new set of operating principles such as “Everyone and everything can be used.” Kit’s selfish code of conduct leads her into black-marketing, theft and a life of deceit. It takes a tragic accident and a temporary return to Hawaii to discover that she’s become a person she doesn’t like and to realize that Korea offers adventures that her friends in Hawaii could never imagine.
Granted I don’t know the YA market all that well, but my immediate concern is the date. If your book doesn’t need to be set in 1974, why set it there? It’s not a time period that’s considered historical and not one I’m sure would be of interest to that age group. That in itself might give agents reason to reject unless you can prove a need for it. Overall though I think this is a fairly strong pitch; I’m not sure if I would ask to see more though. It sounds through the pitch like Kit’s a pretty unlikeable character.
41. c.j.
Sitting beside her mother’s deathbed, Annika is awakened to the fact that the man grieving beside her is not her real father. She leaves her family in Kiev and, with the help of long withheld information from this stepfather, retraces the short life of the father she never knew. FLAKES BLOOM follows Annika on her old Voskhod motorcycle as she travels past the government guards and into Pripyat, the now abandoned town once populated by the workers of the Chernobyl Power Plant.
It sounds to me like this is a beautifully written story. How can I tell that? The voice definitely comes through as well as the pace of the book. I think this is a strong pitch, although we still need to know a little more about the conflict Annika faces. A line at the end about what she must come up against once she arrives in Pripyat would be helpful.
42. trina allen
Katharine Taylor has never transmutated into an animal, a dragon or a mountain lion. She has never traveled to the past through her magic quilt, nor faced armies of insects and the evil wizard Dr. Ziegawart. All Katharine knows is an unhappy life with an alcoholic mother, but all that is about to change when she learns that she is a wizard and travels to a turbulent time in Boston just before the Revolutionary War. Caught up in the dramatic events that pit the King’s soldiers against their own people, Katharine finds in her new friends the strength to face her destiny.
I like the beginning a lot. I think the first three sentences are terrific. What a great Harry Potter-like book without going straight to telling us that. However, this is another case where the ending lost its fire. I guess I’m not sure I want to read about a wizard who ends up in Boston. Where’s the magic? Where’s the army of insects? The fun of a wizard book, or of any fantasy, is the fantasy. In your description of what’s actually going to happen you neglect to tell us about the fantasy. Since it seems your target is probably a younger audience, my question to you is would a 12-year-old (for example) be interested in reading about the “strength to face her destiny”? or are they more interested in reading about evil wizards and magic quilts? That’s what we want to hear about in the last sentences.
Good work as always. I think the pitches are getting stronger as I go, or I’m getting softer. . . .
Jessica
Monday, November 19, 2007
Agent Recommendations
Regularly I receive a response from a query I rejected in which the author asks for agent recommendations. Who else do I think they could submit to? And typically I don’t reply. Why? Because if I knew someone I thought would be a much better match for your book, I would tell you.
There was a time, not too long ago, when another agent had somehow decided that rather than simply say no to an author she would pass them off to BookEnds. I’m not sure why she decided this, or if she thought she was doing us any favors, but suddenly we were getting tons of queries from authors saying this agent had referred them to us. And it was driving us nuts. Our initial, and primary, thought was that we were offended. This particular agent reps the same genres as we do, so why on earth would we want to take on projects that she had so obviously rejected? No one likes hand-me-down clothes and I certainly didn’t want hand-me-down rejections.
When will I recommend an agent? Only very rarely. I will happily recommend another agent when I know the project is outside of my range of expertise, but has merit. In that case I might give the name of a colleague who I feel would be a better fit. And there have definitely been times when I have accepted a referral from another agent. Often, though, that agent will call to talk to me about the project and let me know if it’s a good fit first.
Referrals should be special and given sparingly. I know that when I get a referral from a client, she truly feels strongly about that author’s abilities. The same holds true for agents. I’m not about to throw around the names of other agents simply because you ask. A referral is about my reputation as much as it’s about your work, and from my perspective one will only be given when I feel, honestly, that it’s something the other agent could get behind.
Jessica
There was a time, not too long ago, when another agent had somehow decided that rather than simply say no to an author she would pass them off to BookEnds. I’m not sure why she decided this, or if she thought she was doing us any favors, but suddenly we were getting tons of queries from authors saying this agent had referred them to us. And it was driving us nuts. Our initial, and primary, thought was that we were offended. This particular agent reps the same genres as we do, so why on earth would we want to take on projects that she had so obviously rejected? No one likes hand-me-down clothes and I certainly didn’t want hand-me-down rejections.
When will I recommend an agent? Only very rarely. I will happily recommend another agent when I know the project is outside of my range of expertise, but has merit. In that case I might give the name of a colleague who I feel would be a better fit. And there have definitely been times when I have accepted a referral from another agent. Often, though, that agent will call to talk to me about the project and let me know if it’s a good fit first.
Referrals should be special and given sparingly. I know that when I get a referral from a client, she truly feels strongly about that author’s abilities. The same holds true for agents. I’m not about to throw around the names of other agents simply because you ask. A referral is about my reputation as much as it’s about your work, and from my perspective one will only be given when I feel, honestly, that it’s something the other agent could get behind.
Jessica
Friday, November 16, 2007
Why I Reject
In a recent post on query statistics (which I will try to do more of), I mentioned that I would let you know some of the reasons I was rejecting books, and word count was something that came into play regularly. When does a book get rejected for word count? When it’s much, much too short or much, much too long.
Here is a rough guide of what agents and editors expect when it comes to word count. And yes, there are exceptions to every rule.
While I do frequently reject based on word count, it’s not even the most common reason I reject something. I would suspect that the biggest reason something gets rejected from me is because it just doesn’t sound that different or interesting. Your writing might be great, but the story sounds ho-hum. Nothing really stands out or, even worse, you tell me about the issues your book addresses. Trust me. No one cares whether or not your book discusses love and forgiveness or is a social satire. In the end we all just want a really great book—great plot, great characters, great writing.
When going through rejections I often see queries that sound like good ideas. The concept was interesting, but the plot description was so horrible that I passed. If that’s the same writing that I can expect to see in the book, then I don’t want to read any further.
At other times the plot was too slight. The query was very well written and I didn’t doubt that the author could write, but the plot sounded so boring and linear that I had to pass. In other words, if you couldn’t make the book sound different or interesting it wouldn’t matter to me, to editors, or eventually to readers how well it was written. No one would get past the first few chapters.
Any time an author mentions that the book probably still needs an edit, I run. If you don’t feel your book is as near to perfect as you’re going to get it, then I don’t feel it’s ready for me to send around yet.
Essentially, though, your query has to have two things to make me ask to see more. It has to have an interesting and different concept and it has to be well written. It has to give me a sense that when I get the book I already know the writing is going to be solid.
Jessica
Here is a rough guide of what agents and editors expect when it comes to word count. And yes, there are exceptions to every rule.
- Most novels are roughly 80,000 to 100,000 words. Anything I don’t mention here should be within that range, give or take 5,000 words. And by the way, when I think word count I think 250 words per double-spaced page with one-inch margins. That’s the way most publishers look at word count. Using Microsoft Word’s count could mess you up since three words of dialogue technically takes up a full line, and word count is about production costs.
- Cozy mysteries: 70,000 to 90,000 words. Usually on the short end of that.
- Category romance: Anywhere from 50,000 to 100,000 (note this is Harlequin/Silhouette only)
- Fantasy: Can run longer, up to 120,000 words
While I do frequently reject based on word count, it’s not even the most common reason I reject something. I would suspect that the biggest reason something gets rejected from me is because it just doesn’t sound that different or interesting. Your writing might be great, but the story sounds ho-hum. Nothing really stands out or, even worse, you tell me about the issues your book addresses. Trust me. No one cares whether or not your book discusses love and forgiveness or is a social satire. In the end we all just want a really great book—great plot, great characters, great writing.
When going through rejections I often see queries that sound like good ideas. The concept was interesting, but the plot description was so horrible that I passed. If that’s the same writing that I can expect to see in the book, then I don’t want to read any further.
At other times the plot was too slight. The query was very well written and I didn’t doubt that the author could write, but the plot sounded so boring and linear that I had to pass. In other words, if you couldn’t make the book sound different or interesting it wouldn’t matter to me, to editors, or eventually to readers how well it was written. No one would get past the first few chapters.
Any time an author mentions that the book probably still needs an edit, I run. If you don’t feel your book is as near to perfect as you’re going to get it, then I don’t feel it’s ready for me to send around yet.
Essentially, though, your query has to have two things to make me ask to see more. It has to have an interesting and different concept and it has to be well written. It has to give me a sense that when I get the book I already know the writing is going to be solid.
Jessica
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Pitch Critiques Update
Okay. You've worn me down. Kim has been saying it for days and I think I have to listen to her. I'm no longer accepting new pitches. I will get through what I can get through while still thinking that I can fairly give a good critique. At this point though I've done more than 20 different posts on the subject (obviously you'll be reading my pitch critiques for quite some time) and I will finish up a few more, but I just don't think I'm going to be able to get to all of them. I apologize, but I don't think I have the energy to give a good, fair pitch to everyone and besides that I suspect you want to read more than just critiques.
Thank you so much to everyone who was brave enough to post those pitches and please, please continue to comment on them and help each other out. I think the discussions about my critiques as well as your own feedback are just as important as what I have to say. Besides, if I can hang in there and do 100+ critiques the least you can do is stick with me.
And because I could use something fun on this rainy day, here are some pitches I used when selling my own client's projects. Critique away...
#1: As a professional Human Resources and Career Strategy Consultant, Cynthia Shapiro knows the ins-and-outs of why and how companies hire, fire, promote and train their employees. In her revolutionary book Corporate Confidential, she’s uncovering key inside secrets of how major companies make decisions and what employees can do to achieve success, save their jobs and thrive in the corporate world. This is the only book that tells you exactly what your company doesn’t want you to know.
#2: After losing their friend, Celina, Elayne and Jasmine think the best way to grieve is by celebrating life and what better way to do that then a trip on the S.S. Fantasy--a cruise designed to make all of your fantasies come true.
#3: Fueled by intense grief over losing her firefighting brother to an apartment fire, arson investigator Maya Jackson impulsively sleeps with a stranger in a bar. Five years later, while investigating a Lake Tahoe wildfire, she comes face to face with her biggest mistake. Not only is Logan Cain the most explosive lover she’s ever had, he’s also the head of the Tahoe Pines Hotshot crew – and her lead suspect. Dangerously attracted to a woman who doesn’t trust him, Logan must find the real killer before the wildfire turns deadly.
#4: Anton Cheval is a powerful wizard and the first to recognize his connection to the ancient Chanku race. In a search to discover others like him--individuals with the genetic ability to shift from human to wolf—Anton meets Stefan Aragat, a man cursed to live as half man and half wolf and Alexandria Olanet, the one woman who has been able to give Stefan the love he seeks. Together Alexandria, Stefan and Anton, pack members, lovers, Chanku, set out on a quest to rescue more of their kind before it is too late, before those intent on their ultimate destruction discover the true heritage of the Chanku.
#5: Hooked on Murder is the first book in Betty Hechtman’s terrific new crochet mystery series.
Well have at them and enjoy!
Jessica
Thank you so much to everyone who was brave enough to post those pitches and please, please continue to comment on them and help each other out. I think the discussions about my critiques as well as your own feedback are just as important as what I have to say. Besides, if I can hang in there and do 100+ critiques the least you can do is stick with me.
And because I could use something fun on this rainy day, here are some pitches I used when selling my own client's projects. Critique away...
#1: As a professional Human Resources and Career Strategy Consultant, Cynthia Shapiro knows the ins-and-outs of why and how companies hire, fire, promote and train their employees. In her revolutionary book Corporate Confidential, she’s uncovering key inside secrets of how major companies make decisions and what employees can do to achieve success, save their jobs and thrive in the corporate world. This is the only book that tells you exactly what your company doesn’t want you to know.
#2: After losing their friend, Celina, Elayne and Jasmine think the best way to grieve is by celebrating life and what better way to do that then a trip on the S.S. Fantasy--a cruise designed to make all of your fantasies come true.
#3: Fueled by intense grief over losing her firefighting brother to an apartment fire, arson investigator Maya Jackson impulsively sleeps with a stranger in a bar. Five years later, while investigating a Lake Tahoe wildfire, she comes face to face with her biggest mistake. Not only is Logan Cain the most explosive lover she’s ever had, he’s also the head of the Tahoe Pines Hotshot crew – and her lead suspect. Dangerously attracted to a woman who doesn’t trust him, Logan must find the real killer before the wildfire turns deadly.
#4: Anton Cheval is a powerful wizard and the first to recognize his connection to the ancient Chanku race. In a search to discover others like him--individuals with the genetic ability to shift from human to wolf—Anton meets Stefan Aragat, a man cursed to live as half man and half wolf and Alexandria Olanet, the one woman who has been able to give Stefan the love he seeks. Together Alexandria, Stefan and Anton, pack members, lovers, Chanku, set out on a quest to rescue more of their kind before it is too late, before those intent on their ultimate destruction discover the true heritage of the Chanku.
#5: Hooked on Murder is the first book in Betty Hechtman’s terrific new crochet mystery series.
Well have at them and enjoy!
Jessica
Bound Submissons
A question from a reader: Is it O.K. to submit a self-published book for a query in lieu of the manuscript?
Yes, it’s okay, but I wouldn’t do it. To an author it looks nicer and more polished, but to an agent or editor it looks like something that has been published, edited, and is now in final and perfect form. So if an editor sees something that’s almost publishable, but needs fixing, her mind has already decided that’s not possible (no matter how many times she’s told). Sending a manuscript says to an agent or editor that this is a wonderful book that’s nearly perfect, but the author will still work on revisions to make it absolutely perfect.
I can’t explain exactly why it is, but I’m certainly less enthusiastic about a book coming in bound than I am about a manuscript. I would also suggest you avoid putting your acknowledgments and dedication in your manuscript. Not only is this the signal of a newbie, but it also says that you are discounting any work your future agent and editor might have to do for you.
Jessica
Yes, it’s okay, but I wouldn’t do it. To an author it looks nicer and more polished, but to an agent or editor it looks like something that has been published, edited, and is now in final and perfect form. So if an editor sees something that’s almost publishable, but needs fixing, her mind has already decided that’s not possible (no matter how many times she’s told). Sending a manuscript says to an agent or editor that this is a wonderful book that’s nearly perfect, but the author will still work on revisions to make it absolutely perfect.
I can’t explain exactly why it is, but I’m certainly less enthusiastic about a book coming in bound than I am about a manuscript. I would also suggest you avoid putting your acknowledgments and dedication in your manuscript. Not only is this the signal of a newbie, but it also says that you are discounting any work your future agent and editor might have to do for you.
Jessica
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Pitch Critiques Round 6
You haven’t broken me yet, but you’re getting there. Every time I think I can say I’m a third of the way through I find ten more have been added. At this rate . . . well. And here’s my requisite link to the original post, Perfecting Your Pitch.
31. Christine
Little Fish
Peter Dodge fell in love with a woman he was not sure even existed. Fifty years later she came back for him on a foggy cloud, leaving his aged body behind with a dagger in his heart. When Evie, the beautiful coroner, touches the dagger, she catches a glimpse of the watery world Peter's murderess came from, and the beings there could help her understand one of the town's long unsolved cases, if only she gives them the one thing they are fighting for, a child she'll lovingly call Little Fish.
The first line is really good and definitely grabbed me. After that though I was confused. Is the story about Peter Dodge or Evie? Is the conflict of the story Peter Dodge’s love and later death or is it Evie fighting for a child called Little Fish? I think you have some very intriguing elements here, but it feels like two different pitches. Would it be better to say something more like, “When Evie, a small-town coroner, touches the dagger in Peter Dodge’s chest she is somehow able to see the watery world Peter’s murderer came from, and the beings that help her understand one of the town’s long-unsolved cases. To do so she’ll have to give them (who them?) the one thing they are fighting for, a child she lovingly calls Little Fish . . .”? I think it needs one more line about Little Fish and why she’s so important. Otherwise, you’re right on the verge of a fantastic pitch.
32. anon 11:41
Tillie Russell, an acclaimed entrepreneur who became a household name in the late 90’s by designing pet products, suddenly found herself in the doghouse. In an aggressive interview on a nationally televised talk show, Tillie is bombarded with allegations of animal abuse. Although the implications proved to be completely false, it didn’t deter stores from yanking her products off the shelves, costing the young company over one hundred thousand dollars. The financial debacle resulted in the loss of the company and almost devoured Tillie’s eleven-year marriage. Proving that life could go on, one year later, Tillie becomes pregnant and dreams up a new business with a very unconventional business plan. She enlists ten mothers to join in the new venture she ambitiously names Ten Moms and Counting. Their product? Themselves.
The opening sounds like backstory to me. While cleverly written, it’s not all that exciting and doesn’t sound like it pertains to the story you are trying to sell. What does sound interesting is the Ten Moms and Counting venture. I imagine that’s what the book is really about. So, shouldn’t your pitch say something more along the lines of, “When Tillie Russell decides to look for a new career it’s far from her previous life as an acclaimed designer of pet products. Pregnant and out of work, Tillie comes up with Ten Moms and Counting, a company sure to raise a few eyebrows . . .”? We’ll need to know more specifically now what the company is and what kind of problems it causes.
33. Joan
Athena Solomon is a cemetery director who witnesses burials every day, visits graveyards on vacations, and peruses the internet for locations of famous graves. After her father dies, Athena’s grief is interrupted when she learns about her mother’s long-term love affair and family’s connection to the Jewish Mafia. She unearths the truth about her parentage and suspects that by guarding the past, her mother believed she was protecting her children. Athena then shifts a selfish quest for knowledge into a mission to heal her mother’s soul.
Interesting, but another situation where I don’t see how the first sentence connects with the last part of your pitch. What I thought when I read the first sentence is that I was going to be pitched a new take on a thriller or mystery, but then I realized this is probably women’s fiction. A good pitch means that the reader usually knows not just what the story is about, but also the genre without being told. I think your pitch is actually more detail about Athena’s mission to heal her mother’s soul.
34. Mary
Marian lives a content life – at least while Father is away – she enjoys the herbalism training from her mother, and has a good friend in the village recluse. But after her village is destroyed, she lashes out at those responsible in a magic she didn't know she had. Girls born with magic are sentenced to death. Marian would know, she helped birth one recently, and her heart broke watching the Enchanter take it away. She doesn't know who she can trust or how she can learn to control her new skills without revealing herself to the Enchanters Guild.
There’s something missing here. I think that it’s another case of trying to squeeze in too much information. Do we need to have the first sentence? Would it be better to get straight to the point? The point/conflict seems to be that Marian is now forced to learn to control her magic without letting anyone know. My question to you though is how is this different? What makes this special from other books where someone must learn to control magic? It seems like a common theme and plot. We need to know what makes Marian’s plight unique and intriguing and different from all the others.
35. dwight’s writing manifesto
Over 350 living Americans have floated weightless in Outer Space, but less than two dozen men and women have crawled along the muddy bottom of the Mississippi River at its most treacherous depths. DIVER DOWN chronicles the life of Evan, a river construction diver, as he finds himself navigating even more treacherous chasms of the heart.
I love this. The tone, the voice, the comparison to Outer Space. I think this is an incredibly strong pitch (and I’m not just saying that because your picture scares me), until the end. The ending seems like a downer to me, and what I mean by downer is disappointment. I would assume from your opening that things are going to be happening on the bottom of the Mississippi, but from the last line it sounds like it’s a love story. If he’s battling more than possible heartache I wouldn’t request more; if you have something bigger for him, you’re in. In other words, you have a great setup, but slow follow-through.
36. karen duvall
Chalice has a unique gift of sight, sound and scent, which makes her the perfect thief. But not by choice. She's forced to steal charmed and cursed objects for a secret society of magicians, her bond to their gargoyle guaranteeing her complicity. If she doesn't steal for them, she'll turn into a bat-winged atrocity just like the thing she's bonded to. If Chalice can kill her gargoyle, she'll be free. But how do you kill an immortal creature? To learn the answer she must gain wisdom from the remains of a prophetic saint, fall in love with a thousand year-old Turkish warrior from the Crusades, befriend an elf who owns a coffee shop that caters to the people of faery, and find her fallen angel father.
Uff da. A lot going on here and very confusing. I think this is the hardest thing about complicated plots, it’s hard to tell what’s important and what’s not. Even I have that trouble when pitching to editors. It can also be a sign that maybe the book itself is confusing or not tight enough. You need to ask yourself what’s the point? What’s the conflict? It seems to me that Chalice’s biggest conflict is that she must kill a gargoyle to gain freedom and to do that she must....” It still seems like a lot though and I’m not sure any of it feels really exciting. I guess the question is what is the real journey? What is the real issue for Chalice?
And that’s it for today. Great work again. I’m off to continue my critiques. I do think I have fewer than 100 left.
Jessica
31. Christine
Little Fish
Peter Dodge fell in love with a woman he was not sure even existed. Fifty years later she came back for him on a foggy cloud, leaving his aged body behind with a dagger in his heart. When Evie, the beautiful coroner, touches the dagger, she catches a glimpse of the watery world Peter's murderess came from, and the beings there could help her understand one of the town's long unsolved cases, if only she gives them the one thing they are fighting for, a child she'll lovingly call Little Fish.
The first line is really good and definitely grabbed me. After that though I was confused. Is the story about Peter Dodge or Evie? Is the conflict of the story Peter Dodge’s love and later death or is it Evie fighting for a child called Little Fish? I think you have some very intriguing elements here, but it feels like two different pitches. Would it be better to say something more like, “When Evie, a small-town coroner, touches the dagger in Peter Dodge’s chest she is somehow able to see the watery world Peter’s murderer came from, and the beings that help her understand one of the town’s long-unsolved cases. To do so she’ll have to give them (who them?) the one thing they are fighting for, a child she lovingly calls Little Fish . . .”? I think it needs one more line about Little Fish and why she’s so important. Otherwise, you’re right on the verge of a fantastic pitch.
32. anon 11:41
Tillie Russell, an acclaimed entrepreneur who became a household name in the late 90’s by designing pet products, suddenly found herself in the doghouse. In an aggressive interview on a nationally televised talk show, Tillie is bombarded with allegations of animal abuse. Although the implications proved to be completely false, it didn’t deter stores from yanking her products off the shelves, costing the young company over one hundred thousand dollars. The financial debacle resulted in the loss of the company and almost devoured Tillie’s eleven-year marriage. Proving that life could go on, one year later, Tillie becomes pregnant and dreams up a new business with a very unconventional business plan. She enlists ten mothers to join in the new venture she ambitiously names Ten Moms and Counting. Their product? Themselves.
The opening sounds like backstory to me. While cleverly written, it’s not all that exciting and doesn’t sound like it pertains to the story you are trying to sell. What does sound interesting is the Ten Moms and Counting venture. I imagine that’s what the book is really about. So, shouldn’t your pitch say something more along the lines of, “When Tillie Russell decides to look for a new career it’s far from her previous life as an acclaimed designer of pet products. Pregnant and out of work, Tillie comes up with Ten Moms and Counting, a company sure to raise a few eyebrows . . .”? We’ll need to know more specifically now what the company is and what kind of problems it causes.
33. Joan
Athena Solomon is a cemetery director who witnesses burials every day, visits graveyards on vacations, and peruses the internet for locations of famous graves. After her father dies, Athena’s grief is interrupted when she learns about her mother’s long-term love affair and family’s connection to the Jewish Mafia. She unearths the truth about her parentage and suspects that by guarding the past, her mother believed she was protecting her children. Athena then shifts a selfish quest for knowledge into a mission to heal her mother’s soul.
Interesting, but another situation where I don’t see how the first sentence connects with the last part of your pitch. What I thought when I read the first sentence is that I was going to be pitched a new take on a thriller or mystery, but then I realized this is probably women’s fiction. A good pitch means that the reader usually knows not just what the story is about, but also the genre without being told. I think your pitch is actually more detail about Athena’s mission to heal her mother’s soul.
34. Mary
Marian lives a content life – at least while Father is away – she enjoys the herbalism training from her mother, and has a good friend in the village recluse. But after her village is destroyed, she lashes out at those responsible in a magic she didn't know she had. Girls born with magic are sentenced to death. Marian would know, she helped birth one recently, and her heart broke watching the Enchanter take it away. She doesn't know who she can trust or how she can learn to control her new skills without revealing herself to the Enchanters Guild.
There’s something missing here. I think that it’s another case of trying to squeeze in too much information. Do we need to have the first sentence? Would it be better to get straight to the point? The point/conflict seems to be that Marian is now forced to learn to control her magic without letting anyone know. My question to you though is how is this different? What makes this special from other books where someone must learn to control magic? It seems like a common theme and plot. We need to know what makes Marian’s plight unique and intriguing and different from all the others.
35. dwight’s writing manifesto
Over 350 living Americans have floated weightless in Outer Space, but less than two dozen men and women have crawled along the muddy bottom of the Mississippi River at its most treacherous depths. DIVER DOWN chronicles the life of Evan, a river construction diver, as he finds himself navigating even more treacherous chasms of the heart.
I love this. The tone, the voice, the comparison to Outer Space. I think this is an incredibly strong pitch (and I’m not just saying that because your picture scares me), until the end. The ending seems like a downer to me, and what I mean by downer is disappointment. I would assume from your opening that things are going to be happening on the bottom of the Mississippi, but from the last line it sounds like it’s a love story. If he’s battling more than possible heartache I wouldn’t request more; if you have something bigger for him, you’re in. In other words, you have a great setup, but slow follow-through.
36. karen duvall
Chalice has a unique gift of sight, sound and scent, which makes her the perfect thief. But not by choice. She's forced to steal charmed and cursed objects for a secret society of magicians, her bond to their gargoyle guaranteeing her complicity. If she doesn't steal for them, she'll turn into a bat-winged atrocity just like the thing she's bonded to. If Chalice can kill her gargoyle, she'll be free. But how do you kill an immortal creature? To learn the answer she must gain wisdom from the remains of a prophetic saint, fall in love with a thousand year-old Turkish warrior from the Crusades, befriend an elf who owns a coffee shop that caters to the people of faery, and find her fallen angel father.
Uff da. A lot going on here and very confusing. I think this is the hardest thing about complicated plots, it’s hard to tell what’s important and what’s not. Even I have that trouble when pitching to editors. It can also be a sign that maybe the book itself is confusing or not tight enough. You need to ask yourself what’s the point? What’s the conflict? It seems to me that Chalice’s biggest conflict is that she must kill a gargoyle to gain freedom and to do that she must....” It still seems like a lot though and I’m not sure any of it feels really exciting. I guess the question is what is the real journey? What is the real issue for Chalice?
And that’s it for today. Great work again. I’m off to continue my critiques. I do think I have fewer than 100 left.
Jessica
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Trouble with Interviews
I just had an experience that I’ve never had before and I want to share it with you as a warning. As I’m sure you know I am frequently asked to do interviews or have articles written based on speaking I may have done at conferences or writer’s group meetings. Well, for the first time I came across an interview that really upset me. The author was clearly not a reporter and had done, what I feel, was a real hatchet job to our interview.
When all is said and done the interview made me sound horrible, harsh, and kind of mean. Now, I was a reporter for years, so I know what kind of leeway a reporter can have when writing a story, and I have been in situations where I’ve been told the direction the editor wanted the story to go and I should make it that way. Needless to say I quit that job. I also know how easy it is to twist what someone says simply by taking quotes out of context. Let me clarify, I don’t think this reporter did any of those things maliciously. I think she simply did not have the experience to know how to weave together a good article.
So now I’m stuck with a horrible article/interview floating around cyberspace that makes me look stupid, mean, and snarky, but not in a fun way. Unfortunately this is a risk we all take when doing interviews of any kind, and while we can ask to see a story before it runs, I know from my own experience that few reporters will allow such a thing.
I only hope that this story gets buried to the bottom of Google very quickly.
Jessica
When all is said and done the interview made me sound horrible, harsh, and kind of mean. Now, I was a reporter for years, so I know what kind of leeway a reporter can have when writing a story, and I have been in situations where I’ve been told the direction the editor wanted the story to go and I should make it that way. Needless to say I quit that job. I also know how easy it is to twist what someone says simply by taking quotes out of context. Let me clarify, I don’t think this reporter did any of those things maliciously. I think she simply did not have the experience to know how to weave together a good article.
So now I’m stuck with a horrible article/interview floating around cyberspace that makes me look stupid, mean, and snarky, but not in a fun way. Unfortunately this is a risk we all take when doing interviews of any kind, and while we can ask to see a story before it runs, I know from my own experience that few reporters will allow such a thing.
I only hope that this story gets buried to the bottom of Google very quickly.
Jessica
Monday, November 12, 2007
Pitch Critiques Round 5
I’m baaack. How do you find an original introduction to all of these pitch critiques? You don’t. What I can tell you is that I’m learning how really hard it is to write a good pitch. The funny thing though is that when I look at most of the initial query letters made by the authors I represent, they all had pretty good pitches. In many cases I used those pitches as my own to publishers. This is why agents feel they can judge a book by its pitch. If the pitch has it all there, it’s likely the book does too. Just something to get you thinking. And here’s my requisite link to the original post, Perfecting Your Pitch).
25. jenny
ONE HIGHLAND NIGHT (time-travel romance):
When a meteoritic crystal opens a wormhole on the grounds of ruined Kilchurn Castle in the Scottish Highlands, trapping American physicist Elizabeth Martin over 300 years in the past, her cheating ex-fiancé becomes the least of her worries. Pursued by the politically avaricious Earl of Breadalbane, who wants to use her “Sight” to further his consolidation of power, her only choice is to take refuge with an outlaw clan—a temporary measure until she can find a way to return to her own time.
That’s the plan, at least, until she finds in Alec MacGregor, her handsome protector, a love worth giving up everything she’s ever known.
But it is the late seventeenth century, and while Scotland is torn by the power struggles between supporters of the exiled King James and the English who would seek to rule them, she and Alec are swept into the intrigues of Earls and Kings, and events that could take their lives...or separate them forever.
You do realize this is a pitch contest and not a synopsis contest, right? Way, way too long! And I haven’t even read it yet. The funny thing is that I really know nothing about your book. Do we really need to know how she ended up in the past? Probably not in quite that way. For some reason the fact that it was a meteoritic crystal and wormhole confused me because really this isn’t SF or Fantasy, it’s a fairly straightforward time travel/historical. And of course I’m easily confused. Why not just say, "When a meteorite hits the ruins of Kilchurn Castle, physicist Elizabeth Martin finds herself propelled 300 years in the past"? That’s simpler and helps you get to the point faster. Now, what’s the real conflict? What’s really going to make the reader grab this and read? "Forced to take refuge from a ruthless Earl, Elizabeth..."? I think you can easily get this into just a few short sentences.
26. anon 11:04
(Title) is a portal between the two worlds of mortal Glastonbury Proper and the magical world including the dark and mysterious Wysiwyg Wood (where what you see is what you get). The wood is full of magic, the truths of many legends held within its boundaries. Lionel and Eaglantine Griffin are the gatekeepers of the lake, who have great responsibility in keeping the Seeker of Justice and Retribution, Stormy Reed, safe from the evil Nefarious Nobleman. Stormy Reed is unaware of his magical beginnings or his mystical destiny, and in his dawning of discovery, he finds his world exploding with possibilities he is eager to explore.
Who is your protagonist and what is his challenge? Is it Stormy Read or Lionel and Eaglantine? In reading your pitch I know nothing about the story. I know about the setting and I know about the characters, but I don’t know what is going to be happening, and a pitch should really be about what’s happening. I think the pitch is probably the “possibilities he is eager to explore” as well as “his dawning discovery.”
27. wanda b. ontheshelves
Even in an Arctic ice palace, the initials "SC" in the center of a floor mural might not stand for Santa Claus. So Cassie Novotny, a 28-year-old architect turned wedding cake designer, learns upon encountering Sonya Chloe, a 270-year-old "Mother Frost," at Palais du Nord.
You know, your name alone might be enough to make me request the proposal. Very clever. Unfortunately, name alone doesn’t sell a book (unless of course your name is Seinfeld). So here we go . . . I have no idea what this is about. What is a cake designer doing in the Arctic? And who is Sonya Chloe and what does she have to do with anything? In other words, this pitch tells me nothing. Unless Santa Claus is in the story I wouldn’t bother including him at all. You need to get right to the plot and, of course, conflict.
28. april
(one sentence) Emma Grey and her mother Sylvia must take a chance on love to prevent the past from destroying their future.
(four sentences)Hearts are fragile things and in constant danger. Emma Grey is a ninteen year old dancer with a promising future. Her mother Sylvia is a woman who closed her heart to love after her husband left. When he returns, Emma and Sylvia learn that love is tough, but it may be worth the effort it takes to bring their family back together.
I think your one-sentence pitch is actually stronger than your four-sentence pitch. The problem with both though is that I want to know how their future could be destroyed. Why not make your entire pitch something more like, “Emma Grey and her mother Sylvia must take a chance on love to prevent the past from destroying their future. After ten long years Emma’s father finally returns home, but now he has a secret, a secret that could destroy them all unless Emma and Sylvia can learn to trust again”? Of course I have no idea if that has anything to do with the story, but I think it might give you an idea of what I mean. The true pitch here is the destroying-the-future part. Oh, and I would include more details than I did. Don’t try to be clever and vague. Is the secret that they are all really aliens? Or that they’re living on stolen money? Is it that they are in witness protection? Specifics make a stronger pitch.
29. erik
When you are 3 1/4 inches tall and thoughtless humans destroy your home, you want revenge. One Hopneg's journey in search of payback brings him something bigger, yet smaller. "Downriver" was written for teens but speaks to everyone who wants to be able to see those things we usually can't.
I need to know a little more about the journey. That’s your hook. This little creature in a big world. What is he doing for revenge? What does he face? As part of your pitch I don’t think you need to say who the book is for.
30. anon 11:31
Sara Garcia is a self-employed Dallas auditor, happiest working with spreadsheets, her laptop, and rows and columns of figures. But when her lifelong friend calls in a favor, Sara finds that in order to avoid killing a life-long friendship she could end up dead herself.
I think your opening sentence is great. Nothing revolutionary, but it gives us a really good idea of your character. Now I would assume that your second sentence is going to describe a situation that is totally the opposite of someone who is happiest working with spreadsheets. Therefore I think it could be stronger. “So when Sara finds herself tripping over a dead body, she knows the only way to get back to her spreadsheets is to find the murderer.” Okay, that’s boring too, but I think you know what I mean. What’s exciting? Here’s a sample pitch I made recently for a new mystery series. Okay, to be honest I stole this from the author, but here we go: “Tessa Silver believes she’s buried her past by changing her name and leaving behind a career in high tech to become a glass bead maker. She cannot shake her history so easily, however, and it leads the police straight to her when a competing glassworker is found dead with a copy of one of Tessa’s signature beads in her pocket. Tessa is determined to solve the mystery of the woman’s murder before police scrutiny forces her to reinvent herself yet again.”
And that’s it for today. Great work again. I’m off to continue my critiques. Still about a billion left to go.
Jessica
25. jenny
ONE HIGHLAND NIGHT (time-travel romance):
When a meteoritic crystal opens a wormhole on the grounds of ruined Kilchurn Castle in the Scottish Highlands, trapping American physicist Elizabeth Martin over 300 years in the past, her cheating ex-fiancé becomes the least of her worries. Pursued by the politically avaricious Earl of Breadalbane, who wants to use her “Sight” to further his consolidation of power, her only choice is to take refuge with an outlaw clan—a temporary measure until she can find a way to return to her own time.
That’s the plan, at least, until she finds in Alec MacGregor, her handsome protector, a love worth giving up everything she’s ever known.
But it is the late seventeenth century, and while Scotland is torn by the power struggles between supporters of the exiled King James and the English who would seek to rule them, she and Alec are swept into the intrigues of Earls and Kings, and events that could take their lives...or separate them forever.
You do realize this is a pitch contest and not a synopsis contest, right? Way, way too long! And I haven’t even read it yet. The funny thing is that I really know nothing about your book. Do we really need to know how she ended up in the past? Probably not in quite that way. For some reason the fact that it was a meteoritic crystal and wormhole confused me because really this isn’t SF or Fantasy, it’s a fairly straightforward time travel/historical. And of course I’m easily confused. Why not just say, "When a meteorite hits the ruins of Kilchurn Castle, physicist Elizabeth Martin finds herself propelled 300 years in the past"? That’s simpler and helps you get to the point faster. Now, what’s the real conflict? What’s really going to make the reader grab this and read? "Forced to take refuge from a ruthless Earl, Elizabeth..."? I think you can easily get this into just a few short sentences.
26. anon 11:04
(Title) is a portal between the two worlds of mortal Glastonbury Proper and the magical world including the dark and mysterious Wysiwyg Wood (where what you see is what you get). The wood is full of magic, the truths of many legends held within its boundaries. Lionel and Eaglantine Griffin are the gatekeepers of the lake, who have great responsibility in keeping the Seeker of Justice and Retribution, Stormy Reed, safe from the evil Nefarious Nobleman. Stormy Reed is unaware of his magical beginnings or his mystical destiny, and in his dawning of discovery, he finds his world exploding with possibilities he is eager to explore.
Who is your protagonist and what is his challenge? Is it Stormy Read or Lionel and Eaglantine? In reading your pitch I know nothing about the story. I know about the setting and I know about the characters, but I don’t know what is going to be happening, and a pitch should really be about what’s happening. I think the pitch is probably the “possibilities he is eager to explore” as well as “his dawning discovery.”
27. wanda b. ontheshelves
Even in an Arctic ice palace, the initials "SC" in the center of a floor mural might not stand for Santa Claus. So Cassie Novotny, a 28-year-old architect turned wedding cake designer, learns upon encountering Sonya Chloe, a 270-year-old "Mother Frost," at Palais du Nord.
You know, your name alone might be enough to make me request the proposal. Very clever. Unfortunately, name alone doesn’t sell a book (unless of course your name is Seinfeld). So here we go . . . I have no idea what this is about. What is a cake designer doing in the Arctic? And who is Sonya Chloe and what does she have to do with anything? In other words, this pitch tells me nothing. Unless Santa Claus is in the story I wouldn’t bother including him at all. You need to get right to the plot and, of course, conflict.
28. april
(one sentence) Emma Grey and her mother Sylvia must take a chance on love to prevent the past from destroying their future.
(four sentences)Hearts are fragile things and in constant danger. Emma Grey is a ninteen year old dancer with a promising future. Her mother Sylvia is a woman who closed her heart to love after her husband left. When he returns, Emma and Sylvia learn that love is tough, but it may be worth the effort it takes to bring their family back together.
I think your one-sentence pitch is actually stronger than your four-sentence pitch. The problem with both though is that I want to know how their future could be destroyed. Why not make your entire pitch something more like, “Emma Grey and her mother Sylvia must take a chance on love to prevent the past from destroying their future. After ten long years Emma’s father finally returns home, but now he has a secret, a secret that could destroy them all unless Emma and Sylvia can learn to trust again”? Of course I have no idea if that has anything to do with the story, but I think it might give you an idea of what I mean. The true pitch here is the destroying-the-future part. Oh, and I would include more details than I did. Don’t try to be clever and vague. Is the secret that they are all really aliens? Or that they’re living on stolen money? Is it that they are in witness protection? Specifics make a stronger pitch.
29. erik
When you are 3 1/4 inches tall and thoughtless humans destroy your home, you want revenge. One Hopneg's journey in search of payback brings him something bigger, yet smaller. "Downriver" was written for teens but speaks to everyone who wants to be able to see those things we usually can't.
I need to know a little more about the journey. That’s your hook. This little creature in a big world. What is he doing for revenge? What does he face? As part of your pitch I don’t think you need to say who the book is for.
30. anon 11:31
Sara Garcia is a self-employed Dallas auditor, happiest working with spreadsheets, her laptop, and rows and columns of figures. But when her lifelong friend calls in a favor, Sara finds that in order to avoid killing a life-long friendship she could end up dead herself.
I think your opening sentence is great. Nothing revolutionary, but it gives us a really good idea of your character. Now I would assume that your second sentence is going to describe a situation that is totally the opposite of someone who is happiest working with spreadsheets. Therefore I think it could be stronger. “So when Sara finds herself tripping over a dead body, she knows the only way to get back to her spreadsheets is to find the murderer.” Okay, that’s boring too, but I think you know what I mean. What’s exciting? Here’s a sample pitch I made recently for a new mystery series. Okay, to be honest I stole this from the author, but here we go: “Tessa Silver believes she’s buried her past by changing her name and leaving behind a career in high tech to become a glass bead maker. She cannot shake her history so easily, however, and it leads the police straight to her when a competing glassworker is found dead with a copy of one of Tessa’s signature beads in her pocket. Tessa is determined to solve the mystery of the woman’s murder before police scrutiny forces her to reinvent herself yet again.”
And that’s it for today. Great work again. I’m off to continue my critiques. Still about a billion left to go.
Jessica
Friday, November 09, 2007
How Much Money Will I Make
I’ve done multiple posts now on questions you can, should, and might ask an agent before signing, but a reader came forward to ask me a question I hadn’t considered. Is it appropriate to ask an agent how much she thinks she’ll be able to sell the book for?
Of course I think the answer to this question depends greatly on the author’s personality and whether or not she is comfortable asking such a question. And authors have asked this question of me before signing. Strangely enough, I think they’ve all been nonfiction authors. While I do think it’s entirely appropriate to ask the question, it does put the agent a bit on the hot seat, and of course none of us likes that. For you, though, it’s a great testing ground. It’s the kind of question that’s really going to throw most agents, and the kind of answer that will give you a real look into how this agent probably operates.
While it’s unlikely you’ll get a straight answer, because it’s unlikely the agent has a straight answer, how the agent does answer can say a lot about how comfortable you might be working with such a person. In other words, I wouldn’t base your decision in choosing an agent on how much money she thinks she can get for you, but instead how straightforward she is when answering. How honest is she with you, or how honest do you feel she is? The truth is that agents don’t really know the answer. She can give a ballpark based on her experiences of how much she thinks a publisher might offer, but until she talks to editors who have read the book and knows the passion they feel for it, she won’t know how much they are willing to fight for it—which is when the real money comes in.
Okay. I’ll stop talking in circles now. What I’m trying to say is that I would be wary of the agent who gives a fantastical figure and sounds like she’s promising to get you that kind of money. I would also be wary of the agent who gets mad at you for even asking. I would, however, seriously consider the agent who takes the time to explain how the money process works and what sort of range you might expect based on the subject of your book, its “hotness” factor, your experience, etc. An agent who is as open and honest about your question as she can be.
I’m curious, though. Have any of you asked agents this question, and what kind of responses did you receive?
Jessica
Of course I think the answer to this question depends greatly on the author’s personality and whether or not she is comfortable asking such a question. And authors have asked this question of me before signing. Strangely enough, I think they’ve all been nonfiction authors. While I do think it’s entirely appropriate to ask the question, it does put the agent a bit on the hot seat, and of course none of us likes that. For you, though, it’s a great testing ground. It’s the kind of question that’s really going to throw most agents, and the kind of answer that will give you a real look into how this agent probably operates.
While it’s unlikely you’ll get a straight answer, because it’s unlikely the agent has a straight answer, how the agent does answer can say a lot about how comfortable you might be working with such a person. In other words, I wouldn’t base your decision in choosing an agent on how much money she thinks she can get for you, but instead how straightforward she is when answering. How honest is she with you, or how honest do you feel she is? The truth is that agents don’t really know the answer. She can give a ballpark based on her experiences of how much she thinks a publisher might offer, but until she talks to editors who have read the book and knows the passion they feel for it, she won’t know how much they are willing to fight for it—which is when the real money comes in.
Okay. I’ll stop talking in circles now. What I’m trying to say is that I would be wary of the agent who gives a fantastical figure and sounds like she’s promising to get you that kind of money. I would also be wary of the agent who gets mad at you for even asking. I would, however, seriously consider the agent who takes the time to explain how the money process works and what sort of range you might expect based on the subject of your book, its “hotness” factor, your experience, etc. An agent who is as open and honest about your question as she can be.
I’m curious, though. Have any of you asked agents this question, and what kind of responses did you receive?
Jessica
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)