The agency representing me abruptly closed its doors, two months before my debut novel releases (yeah, bad timing huh).
Then a few days ago I got a three book contract offer, and I have no agent. I was wondering how to word a "query" to a handful of agents I want to approach to represent my novels, along with the 3-book deal.
Might I just send a simple email explaining? Or do I send a query of the book that landed the 3-book offer?
I would put something like, "publishing contract offered, need representation" in your subject heading to grab the agents' attention and then I would start a simple email explaining, and finish the email with your query so that agents have all the information they need to know if this is a project that might be right for them.
Good luck and congratulations!
Jessica
BookEnds has moved! We can now be found at www.bookendsliterary.com BookEnds Literary Agency represents commercial fiction and nonfiction for readers of all ages and in this space we hope to provide advice and inspiration for writers. Our goal is to teach, enlighten and build a community for writers, agents and editors.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Meeting an Agent at a Conference
This question came through on a blog post I did about preparing a nonfiction manuscript:
I have a meeting with a publisher at a conference at the end of the month. I will be presenting them several chapters and a proposal. Do you have any recommendations on how I should present it to them (bound, in a folder, loose, etc.)?
Please do NOT present a written proposal. I definitely recommend having your material with you, especially electronically, on the off chance an agent does want to see it while she's traveling, but I do not recommend showing up at a conference, proposal in hand, thinking you're simply going to hand it over to an agent. A pitch appointment is not an opportunity to hand-deliver your material. A pitch appointment is about verbally pitching your book and getting to know the agent and a little more about the industry. It's also the agent's chance to get to know you and to see if you're the kind of person she would like to work with. Honestly, I've had pitch appointments in which I've passed on material only because I found the author so abrasive I knew it wasn't someone I wanted to work with.
When you do prepare your proposal, never bind it. A folder is fine, but typically, if the agent is still accepting paper submissions, it's loose.
Jessica
I have a meeting with a publisher at a conference at the end of the month. I will be presenting them several chapters and a proposal. Do you have any recommendations on how I should present it to them (bound, in a folder, loose, etc.)?
Please do NOT present a written proposal. I definitely recommend having your material with you, especially electronically, on the off chance an agent does want to see it while she's traveling, but I do not recommend showing up at a conference, proposal in hand, thinking you're simply going to hand it over to an agent. A pitch appointment is not an opportunity to hand-deliver your material. A pitch appointment is about verbally pitching your book and getting to know the agent and a little more about the industry. It's also the agent's chance to get to know you and to see if you're the kind of person she would like to work with. Honestly, I've had pitch appointments in which I've passed on material only because I found the author so abrasive I knew it wasn't someone I wanted to work with.
When you do prepare your proposal, never bind it. A folder is fine, but typically, if the agent is still accepting paper submissions, it's loose.
Jessica
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Categorizing Your Book
My book is set twenty years in the future, but it's more of a YA paranormal romance. Does a storyline set in the future make it automatically science fiction? I'm just not sure how to word my query: A paranormal romance with a futuristic twist is what I have right now.
Almost every book could have separate categories, because truthfully, almost every book has elements of different genres in it. Who is the core audience for your book? It sounds like your book is truly YA with SF elements. I suppose you could say the same for Hunger Games, which, as a dystopian, would technically be called SF, but because the voice and the true audience is YA, it's YA.
If your book is a paranormal romance with a futuristic twist, it's a paranormal romance and that's where it would be shelved and that's the audience you would sell to.
The question you need to ask yourself is where in the bookstore would it be shelved, which genre? That's what you would call your book.
Jessica
Almost every book could have separate categories, because truthfully, almost every book has elements of different genres in it. Who is the core audience for your book? It sounds like your book is truly YA with SF elements. I suppose you could say the same for Hunger Games, which, as a dystopian, would technically be called SF, but because the voice and the true audience is YA, it's YA.
If your book is a paranormal romance with a futuristic twist, it's a paranormal romance and that's where it would be shelved and that's the audience you would sell to.
The question you need to ask yourself is where in the bookstore would it be shelved, which genre? That's what you would call your book.
Jessica
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Workshop Wednesday
Thanks to all of your contributions, Workshop Wednesday has been a success. We're going to continue on with it for as long as we have entries and the energy to comment on them. If you haven't yet submitted but are still interested, don't be afraid to participate as per the guidelines in our original post.
For anyone wanting to comment, we ask that you comment in a polite and respectful manner, and we ask that you be as constructive as possible. If you can be useful to the brave souls who submitted their query and comment on the query, that's great. Please keep any anonymous tirades on publishing or other snarky comments to yourself. This is and should remain an open and safe forum for people to put themselves and their queries out there so that everyone can learn. I'm leaving comments open and open to anonymous posters, as I always have; don't make me feel the need to change that policy.
And for those who have never "met" Query Shark, get over there and do that. She's the originator of the query critique, the queen, if you will.
Dear Jessica Faust,
The day Claire has prayed for the last ten years has somehow become an inescapable nightmare. Her best friend Alice woke up from her coma but Claire's guilt did not lessen. Jackson returned home with Alice and Claire is still just as heartbroken. More than that, she's terrified of what happens next. Claire failed to realize what their return would really mean - her reprieve is over.
I'm definitely intrigued by this because I sense that there's something about the overall story that sounds interesting. I love the idea of praying for what might be considered a miracle and when it happens realizing the nightmare hasn't ended. That being said, I don't think this paragraph, or this query, is particularly well written, and for that reason I have major reservations about wanting to read more.
I have no idea what you mean by "Jackson returned home with Alice and Claire...." Who is Jackson? Returned home from where? The hospital? Still heartbroken from what? And "just as" heartbroken as Claire, Alice or as he was earlier? None of this makes any sense here and I'm getting no sense of the story. I like the idea that Claire's guilt did not lessen, but lessen over what? I'm missing huge chunks of the story here.
I have no idea where these people are returning from or what sort of reprieve Claire had. Basically, I have far more questions than answers.
The happiness Claire has longed for is overshadowed by her fear. Alice's accident was not the only consequence of their last night together. Now, Claire has something more important than their friendship to lose - a daughter she would do anything to protect.
This feels a tad stronger, and only a tad. That doesn't mean I would recommend keeping it. I still don't understand the setup or how they got where they are or where this daughter comes in.
Claire knows in her heart that Jackson belongs with Alice. Resisting him will be easy. This time, Claire is older, smarter and she has a very good reason to stay as far away from Jackson Montgomery as possible. Besides, her love for him was replaced with hate the second he abandoned her. Or at least that's what she thinks until she takes one look into his eyes.
So in the opening I would have assumed this was women's fiction, but now I realize it's a romance, and that throws me.
Reawakened is a 70,000 word contemporary romance novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Overall I think you're going to have a hard time getting any traction with this query. It tells bits of what a story could be, but doesn't really tell me anything about your story. Most important, it doesn't give me the confidence that you could actually write an entire book.
Jessica
For anyone wanting to comment, we ask that you comment in a polite and respectful manner, and we ask that you be as constructive as possible. If you can be useful to the brave souls who submitted their query and comment on the query, that's great. Please keep any anonymous tirades on publishing or other snarky comments to yourself. This is and should remain an open and safe forum for people to put themselves and their queries out there so that everyone can learn. I'm leaving comments open and open to anonymous posters, as I always have; don't make me feel the need to change that policy.
And for those who have never "met" Query Shark, get over there and do that. She's the originator of the query critique, the queen, if you will.
Dear Jessica Faust,
The day Claire has prayed for the last ten years has somehow become an inescapable nightmare. Her best friend Alice woke up from her coma but Claire's guilt did not lessen. Jackson returned home with Alice and Claire is still just as heartbroken. More than that, she's terrified of what happens next. Claire failed to realize what their return would really mean - her reprieve is over.
I'm definitely intrigued by this because I sense that there's something about the overall story that sounds interesting. I love the idea of praying for what might be considered a miracle and when it happens realizing the nightmare hasn't ended. That being said, I don't think this paragraph, or this query, is particularly well written, and for that reason I have major reservations about wanting to read more.
I have no idea what you mean by "Jackson returned home with Alice and Claire...." Who is Jackson? Returned home from where? The hospital? Still heartbroken from what? And "just as" heartbroken as Claire, Alice or as he was earlier? None of this makes any sense here and I'm getting no sense of the story. I like the idea that Claire's guilt did not lessen, but lessen over what? I'm missing huge chunks of the story here.
I have no idea where these people are returning from or what sort of reprieve Claire had. Basically, I have far more questions than answers.
The happiness Claire has longed for is overshadowed by her fear. Alice's accident was not the only consequence of their last night together. Now, Claire has something more important than their friendship to lose - a daughter she would do anything to protect.
This feels a tad stronger, and only a tad. That doesn't mean I would recommend keeping it. I still don't understand the setup or how they got where they are or where this daughter comes in.
Claire knows in her heart that Jackson belongs with Alice. Resisting him will be easy. This time, Claire is older, smarter and she has a very good reason to stay as far away from Jackson Montgomery as possible. Besides, her love for him was replaced with hate the second he abandoned her. Or at least that's what she thinks until she takes one look into his eyes.
So in the opening I would have assumed this was women's fiction, but now I realize it's a romance, and that throws me.
Reawakened is a 70,000 word contemporary romance novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Overall I think you're going to have a hard time getting any traction with this query. It tells bits of what a story could be, but doesn't really tell me anything about your story. Most important, it doesn't give me the confidence that you could actually write an entire book.
Jessica
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Publishing House Procedure
I need some insider info. My (wonderful) agent hasn't really given me any details about the situation so I hope you might be able to.
Last year we went on submission. We came close once with a revise and resubmit but ultimately the editor didn't make an offer. One of the editors from the first round was very slow and when my agent called to follow up, he told her I was doing an R&R. The editor asked to see the revision.
A few weeks after she got the ms, she called me and asked for some changes. They were very minor and I ended the call feeling very good about her and the work she wanted me to do. So we sent the newly revised ms back to her and then we got a note a few weeks later that she loves it. Another note a few days later said she finished it and was sending it to her editorial director.
My question is: what does this mean? Do editors usually send it to their editorial directors before they can make an offer? Is she sending it to the editorial director because she has doubts about it or because she's excited about it? How does a decision about an offer actually get made?
This is fabulous news. There's nothing else to say. Nearly everyone at a publishing house needs to get what are often called "second reads" before even considering an offer. These second reads mean they go to their colleagues to get their opinion. Unlike most agencies, no decision is made at a publishing house without the consensus of a number of people. Who these people are will depend on the house, the genre, the editor, the book, etc. Often an editor will bring the book up at what's called an editorial meeting to get the opinion of a number of editors. In this case she presents the book one week, often using your agent's pitch letter as her guide, and listens to the feedback of others at next week's meeting. Sometimes the decision makers include not just editors, but the marketing and sales team as well, and sometimes the only second read you'll need is from the head of the genre's department or the editorial director, or maybe just the editor's immediate boss.
In this case it sounds like she's hoping to get the go-ahead from the editorial director to make the offer. If the editorial director agrees that it's something they would like to add to their list, they'll discuss where the book would fit on the list and what kind of offer they will be making.
Congratulations and good luck. This is exciting news.
By the way, it sounds like you have a great agent, someone who's really active and involved, so don't be afraid to ask her these questions. That's just part of what you pay her for.
Jessica
Last year we went on submission. We came close once with a revise and resubmit but ultimately the editor didn't make an offer. One of the editors from the first round was very slow and when my agent called to follow up, he told her I was doing an R&R. The editor asked to see the revision.
A few weeks after she got the ms, she called me and asked for some changes. They were very minor and I ended the call feeling very good about her and the work she wanted me to do. So we sent the newly revised ms back to her and then we got a note a few weeks later that she loves it. Another note a few days later said she finished it and was sending it to her editorial director.
My question is: what does this mean? Do editors usually send it to their editorial directors before they can make an offer? Is she sending it to the editorial director because she has doubts about it or because she's excited about it? How does a decision about an offer actually get made?
This is fabulous news. There's nothing else to say. Nearly everyone at a publishing house needs to get what are often called "second reads" before even considering an offer. These second reads mean they go to their colleagues to get their opinion. Unlike most agencies, no decision is made at a publishing house without the consensus of a number of people. Who these people are will depend on the house, the genre, the editor, the book, etc. Often an editor will bring the book up at what's called an editorial meeting to get the opinion of a number of editors. In this case she presents the book one week, often using your agent's pitch letter as her guide, and listens to the feedback of others at next week's meeting. Sometimes the decision makers include not just editors, but the marketing and sales team as well, and sometimes the only second read you'll need is from the head of the genre's department or the editorial director, or maybe just the editor's immediate boss.
In this case it sounds like she's hoping to get the go-ahead from the editorial director to make the offer. If the editorial director agrees that it's something they would like to add to their list, they'll discuss where the book would fit on the list and what kind of offer they will be making.
Congratulations and good luck. This is exciting news.
By the way, it sounds like you have a great agent, someone who's really active and involved, so don't be afraid to ask her these questions. That's just part of what you pay her for.
Jessica
Monday, January 09, 2012
So, You've Got an Offer . . .
So, you've got an offer . . . but what if you've already been rejected by agents all over town?
I was going to leave this as a comment on your post "You Have an Offer" but decided to email you instead...
What if you've been rejected (or just not heard back from... no answer means no) by pretty much every agent on your list and THEN get an offer from a publisher? It feels kind of silly to email all the agents who've just told you no thanks and say "I know you didn't want this, but hey! Certain Publisher does, can someone represent me please?"
I'm facing this situation myself at the moment. I spent all last year querying a sci-fi with romantic elements, Atrophy. I got some great rejections, agents who said "I can't take this because it falls right between sci-fi and romance, so don't know what to do with it, but write something else and send me that!"
After I'd pretty much exhausted my list of potential agents, I was given the email address of an editor at HarperVoyager Australia from one of their authors I know and sent a query. The editor got straight back to me and said she wanted to see the first 10 chaps. A few weeks after that, the editor emailed again to say she was enjoying it immensly, there was so many things about it that were great and wanted to see the entire manuscript, plus was going to get another editor to read it as well.
Now, I know this isn't an offer and there's still every chance they could say "thanks, but no." Excpet taking into account how enthusiastic she seemed about it, I've got to consider what I'll do if they offer a contract. Some other published authors have advised me to forget about an agent since I got rejected by so many. If HV offer a contract I should just get a lawyer familiar with this sort of thing and go it without an agent. I now have several books published with Noble Romance Publishing and doing that without an agent it one thing, they're a small press, the contract was pretty straight forward and I was confident having a lawyer look over it and then going ahead on my own. But obviously HarperVoyager are a whole different ball game and honostly, I know that to make the kind of career I want, I need an agent.
So, on the chance HV do offer me a contract, what does an author do who has already been rejected by agents all over town do?
Would really appreciate an answer to this question that has really been stressing me out.
Well, what's interesting is it sounds like you have great feedback from agents who just didn't know where they could take the book, or they didn't feel they had the contacts, or could do you justice because they felt the risk was too big, and, sometimes, agents don't want to get an author's hopes up when they know something is a long shot. What I'd suggest is wait until you have the offer, and when you do, let the editor know that you'd prefer to work with an agent so will need two weeks before you can get back to her. Then I would immediately follow up with those agents you felt you got a good response from. Those agents who sounded very interested in you and your work and, if they asked to see other things, clearly your voice. Let them know you have an offer on that book and ask if they would consider offering representation.
Sure, you could definitely hire a lawyer (make sure it's a literary lawyer, someone who understands the publishing contract), but if you already have agents who are enthusiastic about your voice, this is a good opportunity to start building a relationship. When you interview those agents, really talk to them about their vision for your career, not just their strategy for selling this particular book, although that should be part of the conversation as well.
I hope this helps. It sounds like you've gotten some good news lately so congratulations!
Jessica
I was going to leave this as a comment on your post "You Have an Offer" but decided to email you instead...
What if you've been rejected (or just not heard back from... no answer means no) by pretty much every agent on your list and THEN get an offer from a publisher? It feels kind of silly to email all the agents who've just told you no thanks and say "I know you didn't want this, but hey! Certain Publisher does, can someone represent me please?"
I'm facing this situation myself at the moment. I spent all last year querying a sci-fi with romantic elements, Atrophy. I got some great rejections, agents who said "I can't take this because it falls right between sci-fi and romance, so don't know what to do with it, but write something else and send me that!"
After I'd pretty much exhausted my list of potential agents, I was given the email address of an editor at HarperVoyager Australia from one of their authors I know and sent a query. The editor got straight back to me and said she wanted to see the first 10 chaps. A few weeks after that, the editor emailed again to say she was enjoying it immensly, there was so many things about it that were great and wanted to see the entire manuscript, plus was going to get another editor to read it as well.
Now, I know this isn't an offer and there's still every chance they could say "thanks, but no." Excpet taking into account how enthusiastic she seemed about it, I've got to consider what I'll do if they offer a contract. Some other published authors have advised me to forget about an agent since I got rejected by so many. If HV offer a contract I should just get a lawyer familiar with this sort of thing and go it without an agent. I now have several books published with Noble Romance Publishing and doing that without an agent it one thing, they're a small press, the contract was pretty straight forward and I was confident having a lawyer look over it and then going ahead on my own. But obviously HarperVoyager are a whole different ball game and honostly, I know that to make the kind of career I want, I need an agent.
So, on the chance HV do offer me a contract, what does an author do who has already been rejected by agents all over town do?
Would really appreciate an answer to this question that has really been stressing me out.
Well, what's interesting is it sounds like you have great feedback from agents who just didn't know where they could take the book, or they didn't feel they had the contacts, or could do you justice because they felt the risk was too big, and, sometimes, agents don't want to get an author's hopes up when they know something is a long shot. What I'd suggest is wait until you have the offer, and when you do, let the editor know that you'd prefer to work with an agent so will need two weeks before you can get back to her. Then I would immediately follow up with those agents you felt you got a good response from. Those agents who sounded very interested in you and your work and, if they asked to see other things, clearly your voice. Let them know you have an offer on that book and ask if they would consider offering representation.
Sure, you could definitely hire a lawyer (make sure it's a literary lawyer, someone who understands the publishing contract), but if you already have agents who are enthusiastic about your voice, this is a good opportunity to start building a relationship. When you interview those agents, really talk to them about their vision for your career, not just their strategy for selling this particular book, although that should be part of the conversation as well.
I hope this helps. It sounds like you've gotten some good news lately so congratulations!
Jessica
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Lauren: What I'm Looking For
Whew! 2011 was a busy year. From June to December alone, I received around 2,500 queries, and from those I requested about 140 proposals and 30 full manuscripts. I saw works geared to adult audiences all the way down to toddlers. I read romance from super-spicy erotic to Disneyesque, biography, Westerns, historical fiction, family sagas, mystery, women's fiction, memoir, fantasy, steampunk, nonfiction, thrillers, true-crime, literary fiction, chick-lit, up-market commercial fiction, horror, science-fiction, poetry, short stories, essays, and even an idea for a puzzle book. I was floored by literary prowess, confused by ridiculousness, and generally entertained nonstop. I have the perfect job.
This year, I'm narrowing the scope of my tastes and focusing more specifically on genres to which I am best suited. In 2012, I'm looking for:
romance—all genres
literary fiction
commercial fiction, especially up-market
urban fantasy with romantic elements
middle-grade—all subgenres
young adult—all subgenres
mystery, with a strong focus on cozies
women's fiction on the literary side
smart chick lit, a la The Devil Wears Prada
In nonfiction, I'm looking for authors who have a large following, are well-established professionals, and have big platforms, unless the work is a memoir. I'm looking for the following topics in nonfiction:
parenting
relationships
business
popular science
popular culture
popular psychology
memoirs of highly extraordinary people and experiences
I am specifically not accepting submissions of epic fantasy, science-fiction, poetry, short stories, essay collections, biography, thrillers, Westerns, or true-crime.
Here's to a prosperous and eventful 2012!
Lauren
This year, I'm narrowing the scope of my tastes and focusing more specifically on genres to which I am best suited. In 2012, I'm looking for:
romance—all genres
literary fiction
commercial fiction, especially up-market
urban fantasy with romantic elements
middle-grade—all subgenres
young adult—all subgenres
mystery, with a strong focus on cozies
women's fiction on the literary side
smart chick lit, a la The Devil Wears Prada
In nonfiction, I'm looking for authors who have a large following, are well-established professionals, and have big platforms, unless the work is a memoir. I'm looking for the following topics in nonfiction:
parenting
relationships
business
popular science
popular culture
popular psychology
memoirs of highly extraordinary people and experiences
I am specifically not accepting submissions of epic fantasy, science-fiction, poetry, short stories, essay collections, biography, thrillers, Westerns, or true-crime.
Here's to a prosperous and eventful 2012!
Lauren
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Workshop Wednesday
Thanks to all of your contributions, Workshop Wednesday has been a success. We're going to continue on with it for as long as we have entries and the energy to comment on them. If you haven't yet submitted but are still interested, don't be afraid to participate as per the guidelines in our original post.
For anyone wanting to comment, we ask that you comment in a polite and respectful manner, and we ask that you be as constructive as possible. If you can be useful to the brave souls who submitted their query and comment on the query, that's great. Please keep any anonymous tirades on publishing or other snarky comments to yourself. This is and should remain an open and safe forum for people to put themselves and their queries out there so that everyone can learn. I'm leaving comments open and open to anonymous posters, as I always have; don't make me feel the need to change that policy.
And for those who have never "met" Query Shark, get over there and do that. She's the originator of the query critique, the queen, if you will.
Dear Ms. Editor
I would like you to consider working with me on the following manuscript.
We have agents here, not editors. And nobody here has the last name Editor. This makes me think you haven’t done your research. Also, and this is just my personal opinion, but something about your first sentence makes me feel a bit condescended to, as though you’re commanding me to do something in a nice way. “Please consider . . .” might be more effective.
Landing in New York in 1910, Martin Crain fell in love with the American Dream and reached out for it with both hands. Determination, hard work and his own inate loyalty, made him rise from chauffeur to the personal assistant of a wealthy industrialist.
Misspellings and errors in grammar and punctuation in a query are a pet peeve of mine. In a 100,000-word manuscript, errors are more forgivable, but you only had to write half a page and you’ve misspelled something any email program or word processor would highlight. Now you look lazy.
We meet his employer,whom Martin calls "the Mister"; the Mister's great love - Miss Ellie, his wife, his brother; Martin's son, Mo and Mo's cousin - DoeDoe (through whose eyes and memories the story is told).
If DoeDoe (whoever he or she is) is the narrator, why don’t we know more about him or her? What gives this person the authority to tell the story?
We’re halfway through the query and I know all the characters’ names, which mean nothing to me, but have no idea what they do (or even what the narrator’s gender is) or what conflict is presented.
This story follows Martins life, and those of his family in the Irish neighborhoods of mid-Manhattan, and through the homes and lives of his wealthy employers.
This might be interesting. But I’m thinking, “And?” Are there comparisons between the extreme poverty and social stigmas the Irish suffered in 1910 and the comfort of the wealthy? Because it sounds like there might be, and this is fascinating to me. But you haven’t given me a chance to see it.
When tragedy struck and Martin's grip on his dream slipped, his loyalty never faltered.
Aha! I see a glimmer of conflict. I can tell it is there, but you haven’t told me what it is. What tragedy struck Martin and his grip on his dream? Indeed, what is his dream? The American Dream is relative—it could mean a picket fence and a golden retriever, or it could mean ownership of a filthy deli in Hell’s Kitchen.
Through betrayal, deaths, murder, persecution, failures and personal misery, Martin was never known to speak a word of blame for his beloved "Mister".
Why would he blame Mister? This is the problem here. I get a vague sense of what this book is about, but in order to want to read more, I need specificity. What happened and how was it rectified, if it was?
They say 'no good deed goes unpunished', but perhaps in the end, Martin's devotion would be rewarded?
Well, is it or isn’t it? And in what way? Because my opinion of the story hinges upon knowing what happens, I do not like having the ending dangled in front of me like a carrot. I feel like you’re saying to me, “If you really want to know the answer and can’t stand the suspense, you’ll request my proposal.” And that feels sneaky and tricky. If you had confidence in your own plotting and the ending of your own story, you would have been too willing to tell me all about it. And I honestly wanted to hear it.
Thank you for taking time to read this.
Sincerely,
I like this closing. Simple and respectful.
I would reject this because even though I like stories that show the polarity of American socioeconomics, and I like stories about turn-of-the-twentieth-century New York City, I can’t tell from your query what the meat of the story is.
Lauren
For anyone wanting to comment, we ask that you comment in a polite and respectful manner, and we ask that you be as constructive as possible. If you can be useful to the brave souls who submitted their query and comment on the query, that's great. Please keep any anonymous tirades on publishing or other snarky comments to yourself. This is and should remain an open and safe forum for people to put themselves and their queries out there so that everyone can learn. I'm leaving comments open and open to anonymous posters, as I always have; don't make me feel the need to change that policy.
And for those who have never "met" Query Shark, get over there and do that. She's the originator of the query critique, the queen, if you will.
Dear Ms. Editor
I would like you to consider working with me on the following manuscript.
We have agents here, not editors. And nobody here has the last name Editor. This makes me think you haven’t done your research. Also, and this is just my personal opinion, but something about your first sentence makes me feel a bit condescended to, as though you’re commanding me to do something in a nice way. “Please consider . . .” might be more effective.
Landing in New York in 1910, Martin Crain fell in love with the American Dream and reached out for it with both hands. Determination, hard work and his own inate loyalty, made him rise from chauffeur to the personal assistant of a wealthy industrialist.
Misspellings and errors in grammar and punctuation in a query are a pet peeve of mine. In a 100,000-word manuscript, errors are more forgivable, but you only had to write half a page and you’ve misspelled something any email program or word processor would highlight. Now you look lazy.
We meet his employer,whom Martin calls "the Mister"; the Mister's great love - Miss Ellie, his wife, his brother; Martin's son, Mo and Mo's cousin - DoeDoe (through whose eyes and memories the story is told).
If DoeDoe (whoever he or she is) is the narrator, why don’t we know more about him or her? What gives this person the authority to tell the story?
We’re halfway through the query and I know all the characters’ names, which mean nothing to me, but have no idea what they do (or even what the narrator’s gender is) or what conflict is presented.
This story follows Martins life, and those of his family in the Irish neighborhoods of mid-Manhattan, and through the homes and lives of his wealthy employers.
This might be interesting. But I’m thinking, “And?” Are there comparisons between the extreme poverty and social stigmas the Irish suffered in 1910 and the comfort of the wealthy? Because it sounds like there might be, and this is fascinating to me. But you haven’t given me a chance to see it.
When tragedy struck and Martin's grip on his dream slipped, his loyalty never faltered.
Aha! I see a glimmer of conflict. I can tell it is there, but you haven’t told me what it is. What tragedy struck Martin and his grip on his dream? Indeed, what is his dream? The American Dream is relative—it could mean a picket fence and a golden retriever, or it could mean ownership of a filthy deli in Hell’s Kitchen.
Through betrayal, deaths, murder, persecution, failures and personal misery, Martin was never known to speak a word of blame for his beloved "Mister".
Why would he blame Mister? This is the problem here. I get a vague sense of what this book is about, but in order to want to read more, I need specificity. What happened and how was it rectified, if it was?
They say 'no good deed goes unpunished', but perhaps in the end, Martin's devotion would be rewarded?
Well, is it or isn’t it? And in what way? Because my opinion of the story hinges upon knowing what happens, I do not like having the ending dangled in front of me like a carrot. I feel like you’re saying to me, “If you really want to know the answer and can’t stand the suspense, you’ll request my proposal.” And that feels sneaky and tricky. If you had confidence in your own plotting and the ending of your own story, you would have been too willing to tell me all about it. And I honestly wanted to hear it.
Thank you for taking time to read this.
Sincerely,
I like this closing. Simple and respectful.
I would reject this because even though I like stories that show the polarity of American socioeconomics, and I like stories about turn-of-the-twentieth-century New York City, I can’t tell from your query what the meat of the story is.
Lauren
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Editor/Agent Etiquette
At a conference several months ago I pitched my suspense novel to both an agent and an editor with a NY publisher, both of whom requested the full manuscript. Recently I received an email from the editor suggesting changes to my book and asking me to resubmit it. What is the proper etiquette in a case like this? Should I let the agent know the editor suggested changes and that I'll be revising the ms? Should I let the editor know that when I resubmit the work it could be through an agent? Or don't I need to do anything at this stage?
The proper etiquette is really to put the book first. The only thing you owe the agent and editor is courtesy. Go ahead with the revisions for the editor as long as you feel good about them, but don't bother informing the agent until you're finished with them. If you finish the edits and feel they've made a significant difference, then I would contact the agent to let her know of the changes and see if she's interested in either looking at the book again (if she's already passed) or seeing the revised version. I would not bother telling the editor that you "might have an agent" because honestly, the odds say that there's a very slight chance you will. In other words, just because one agent asked to see the material doesn't mean she's going to offer representation.
The other thing I would do is query widely. Make sure you aren't putting all your hopes and dreams into one agent and one editor.
Jessica
The proper etiquette is really to put the book first. The only thing you owe the agent and editor is courtesy. Go ahead with the revisions for the editor as long as you feel good about them, but don't bother informing the agent until you're finished with them. If you finish the edits and feel they've made a significant difference, then I would contact the agent to let her know of the changes and see if she's interested in either looking at the book again (if she's already passed) or seeing the revised version. I would not bother telling the editor that you "might have an agent" because honestly, the odds say that there's a very slight chance you will. In other words, just because one agent asked to see the material doesn't mean she's going to offer representation.
The other thing I would do is query widely. Make sure you aren't putting all your hopes and dreams into one agent and one editor.
Jessica
Monday, January 02, 2012
Happy New Year!
If, like me, you were lucky to be able to take some time off over the holidays, welcome back. Like most agents and editors in publishing, we're returning refreshed, relaxed, and, most important, hungry for great new projects.
Personally, I'm really looking forward to 2012 and all that it will bring. Let's face it, 2011 was an interesting year in publishing. We saw a whole lot of change, most of it really exciting for everyone. Ebooks exploded and with that the doors opened for authors to self-publish and forge their own paths if they wished. It also changed things for publishers and agents, who needed and need to find ways to continue assisting and growing authors. I think it's fair to say we're all still exploring where we fit in this new world, and that means authors, agents, and editors. There are new options and each one has its challenges and its rewards. I'm a believer, however, that each of us needs to take the path that works for us individually and that no decision is set in stone. That we can change our path at any point and try something new. That's the great thing about this new world.
I am somewhat sad to say that I'm going to continue taking queries on referral only at this point. My wonderful clients have been keeping me very busy, and to give them the attention they need and deserve I want to limit my query inbox. Lauren, Kim, and Jessica are still open for queries and hungry for something new. Check the Submissions page to see what they're looking for these days. I'll also try to encourage them to do blog posts. And, one thing to note, while closed to queries last year I actually signed three new clients.
We had an incredibly successful 2011, one of our best years ever, so it's impossible to go into 2012 with anything but enthusiasm. I can't wait to see what the year brings for BookEnds and to hear what it brings for all of you.
Jessica
Personally, I'm really looking forward to 2012 and all that it will bring. Let's face it, 2011 was an interesting year in publishing. We saw a whole lot of change, most of it really exciting for everyone. Ebooks exploded and with that the doors opened for authors to self-publish and forge their own paths if they wished. It also changed things for publishers and agents, who needed and need to find ways to continue assisting and growing authors. I think it's fair to say we're all still exploring where we fit in this new world, and that means authors, agents, and editors. There are new options and each one has its challenges and its rewards. I'm a believer, however, that each of us needs to take the path that works for us individually and that no decision is set in stone. That we can change our path at any point and try something new. That's the great thing about this new world.
I am somewhat sad to say that I'm going to continue taking queries on referral only at this point. My wonderful clients have been keeping me very busy, and to give them the attention they need and deserve I want to limit my query inbox. Lauren, Kim, and Jessica are still open for queries and hungry for something new. Check the Submissions page to see what they're looking for these days. I'll also try to encourage them to do blog posts. And, one thing to note, while closed to queries last year I actually signed three new clients.
We had an incredibly successful 2011, one of our best years ever, so it's impossible to go into 2012 with anything but enthusiasm. I can't wait to see what the year brings for BookEnds and to hear what it brings for all of you.
Jessica
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)