Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Query Critiques

I may be opening myself up for more than I’m ready for, but here goes . . .

I hear it all the time, authors who complain that they can’t even get an agent to read the proposal. “How am I supposed to get published if no one will even read a chapter?” Want to know a little secret? You can be the worst writer ever but have agents clamoring for your work if you just write a strong query.

So what am I going to offer you? Five lucky readers brave enough to post their full query in the comments section will get a thorough critique on the blog. It’s not necessarily the first five, or the last, but the five that I think I can give the most thought-provoking and constructive critiques to. For one week I will post each query with my comments and suggestions for what is missing and ask readers to contribute their own thoughts.

So brave readers, here’s your chance. A free critique from me. Post away. . . .

—Jessica

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

What would you do to win your freedom?

In MASTER OF CROWS, a completed 89,000 word fantasy romance, that is the question which sets bondwoman, Martise of Asher, on a dangerous path. In exchange for her freedom, she has bargained with her masters, the mage-priests of Conclave, to spy on the renegade sorcerer, Silhara of Neith. The priests want Martise to expose the sorcerer’s treachery and turn him over to Conclave justice. A risky endeavor, but one she accepts without hesitation—until she falls in love with her intended target.

Silhara of Neith, Master of Crows, is a desperate man. The god called Corruption invades his mind, seducing him with promises of great power if he will help it gain dominion over the world. Silhara struggles against Corruption’s influence and searches for ways to destroy it. When Conclave sends Martise as an apprentice to help him, he knows she’s a spy. Now he fights a war on two fronts—against the god who would possess him and the apprentice who would betray him.

Mage and spy search together for a ritual that will annihilate the god, but in doing so discover secrets about each other that may damn them both. Silhara must decide if his fate, and the fate of nations, is worth the soul of the woman he has come to love, and Martise must choose continued enslavement or freedom at the cost of a man’s life. And love.

I have published four short stories with Small Name Press under the pen name Jayne Smith. I am also a member of Romance Writers of America and Romance Divas. I know from reading the BookEnds blog and website that you are seeking fantasy romance. I have enclosed the synopsis and first three chapters of my novel, along with an SASE for your convenience. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to an opportunity to share the manuscript with you soon.

Sincerely,


Jane Doe
1234 Anywhere Street
Alexandria, LA 71301
Jane.Doe@yahoo.com
(555) 123-4567

Mark Terry said...

Hi. My last novel sold 400,000 copies. I'm looking for a new agent. Interested?

:)

Okay, it's a fantasy.

Anonymous said...

What a great opportunity! Thanks for doing this.

Grace Draven

Tess Harrison said...

What a wonderful opportunity! Thank you!


May 1, 2007

Dear Ms. Faust,

A working weekend with a client on his secluded mountain estate is exactly what Ariel Richards needs to put her artwork in front the man who could save her art gallery. But she never expected to run into Simon Maxwell, the man who tempted her beyond reason and then left her without warning. And now he claims she’s a reincarnated handmaiden of ancient times. She believes the idea is ridiculous, until the visions begin.

Simon Maxwell can’t stomach the thought of Ariel, the woman he’s loved throughout time, in the hands of his enemy, an ancient evil he devoted his life to capturing. Despite the knowledge giving in to temptation is a mistake he becomes her lover all over again. Now Ariel and Simon must put aside the hurt and betrayal of their past and work together to stop their enemy and break the cycle binding them all together before Ariel dies... again.

SMOKE AND MIRRORS is a completed 75,000 word erotic romantic suspense with paranormal elements set in the Blue Ridge Region of the Appalachian Mountain chain. Living outside of Atlanta, the Appalachian Mountains, and more specifically the Blue Ridge Region, is an area I visit often and have spent time studying the history of the people.

I have been writing for seven years and am published in short story fiction and also have two full novels and one novella published with an e-publisher. The anthology including my novella was nominated in the Preditor and Editor’s Reader Choice poll as one of the best books of 2006. I’m also a member of RWA and active in two online chapters, RWA Online and Passionate Ink, as well as my local chapter.

As per your submission guidelines for consideration, I’m attaching the full synopsis and first fifty pages of my story. Thank you very much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Tess Harrison
tess@tessharrison.com
www.tessharrison.com

Terry Stone said...

May 1, 2007
Jessica Faust
Bookends, LLC

Dear Ms. Faust,


What would you do if a prostitute notorious for her bad attitude and an even meaner temper forces you at gunpoint to care for the injured man she has laid claim to? That is the question Mattie Sinclair faces in Showdown in Timberton, my 80,000 word historical romance.

Mattie Sinclair is a schoolteacher in Timberton, Wyoming territory. Her first glimpse of Cal Holbrook is as he stands half nude, with a prostitute draped over him in the doorway of the The Passion Pit saloon. Mattie is disgusted to see this and the situation between she and Cal deteriorates from there. Six months later, Cal is wounded when the town's two prostitutes hold a gunfight over him. When the injured Cal is brought to her home, Mattie becomes his unwilling nurse. Then Cal gets snowed in, without pants, and Mattie finds that she has more than her patient’s recovery on her mind. As she becomes more involved with Cal, she has to ask herself, is a man who incites gunfights and has been barely civil towards her, worth risking her newfound freedom and career?

Cal Holbrook is a former southern gentleman trying to make his fortune in Wyoming Territory. A local prostitute has decided to hitch her wagon to Cal’s star, whether he likes it or not, and is willing to kill to keep him. When Cal meets Mattie Sinclair, he knows she is trouble, to the unsettled town and to his peace of mind. After he gets trapped at her cabin during a snowstorm, he finds out she’s more than trouble. She’s a passionate woman and she’s willing to fight for what she wants. Cal finds himself wondering if Mattie could be the lady of his long forgotten dreams, and is she willing to fight for their burgeoning love?

I am an unpublished author and am currently seeking representation for my book Showdown in Timberton. I have enclosed a synopsis and the first three chapters per the guidelines on your website. Thank you for reading my material. I look forward to hearing from you.

Terry Stone

December Quinn said...

Can't wait to see the critiques!

L. Faye Hughes said...

LOL, Jessica. What a brave soul you are this morning...and what a great opportunity for five luck authors. :)

Best of luck to everyone!

Faye

Babe King said...

Address
Email
Phone

BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Road
Gillette, NJ 07933

1st May, 2007


Dear Jessica Faust,

Fashion, passion and nervous sheep. That’s Galahgaburra since the politically-savvy, designer-clad Dr. Penelope Sutcliffe hit town. Exiled to the red-dirt Australian outback after a malpractice suit, she’s determined to prove herself by revolutionising the small local hospital so she can return to the challenge and prestige of big-city practise. If she doesn’t drown in domestic goddesses and sheep poop first.

Galahgaburra’s ambulance driver and ex-army medic, Frank Wise, wants Penelope gone. He’s chasing more rights for the local nurses to help improve his community’s care, not some expensive, interfering, live-in doctor. The changes Penelope demands will only give politicians an excuse to close their cash-strapped medical facility. Not to mention she heats him to the point where even the livestock look sexy!

But when Frank works outside his prescribed medical role during a local disaster, he needs Penelope to support him at the subsequent inquest. Taught by the land and this brave man to follow her heart rather than her training manual, Penelope challenges the political circles she’s always supported and sacrifices her chance of returning to Sydney surgery to save the principled rebel she’s come to love.

"One Doctor: Well Heeled" is a completed contemporary single title romance of 90,000 words, and recently won the Romance Diva’s We-All-Win contest.

I have over ten years of medical experience including some rural practice, a bachelor of Creative Arts with literature as a second major, two novellas with By Grace Publishing, two short stories in the “Cup of Comfort” series, and numerous other articles and quips in magazines. I am a member of RWA – American and Australian, and belong to several online romance writing and critique groups, including Romance Divas where I’m a moderator.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response and would be happy to forward a partial or full at your request.

Yours sincerely,

Babe King


(thank you so much for doing this.)

Christa M. Miller said...

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC

Dear Ms. Faust:

In my literary police procedural HURT, serial murders complicate three small-town cops’ already-turbulent personal lives in ways they never expected.

Patrolman Ray Trueman’s older daughter belongs to the same clique as the teenage murder victims. Juggling her safety, his ex-wife’s pride, and his girlfriend’s depression overextends Ray, endangering both his daughters.

High School Resource Officer Frank Brennan believes he can prevent more murders, if he can just get the at-risk teens to trust him. Frank’s single-mindedness diverts his attention from the desperately, dangerously lonely girl stalking his wife.

Detective Sean Monroe, local liaison to the state trooper investigating the case, lacks in credibility and confidence. Burdened by the unstable sister she rescued from domestic abuse, Sean jeopardizes what may be her one shot at true happiness with the trooper.

Readers who enjoy character-driven crime fiction will appreciate HURT, an 83,000-word novel that draws on my years of experience working with police officers. A freelance writer, I have had more than 100 articles on technology and related issues published in law enforcement trade magazines over the last five years.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Christa M. Miller

Christa M. Miller said...

Thanks for such a great opportunity, by the way!!

Anonymous said...

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust:

In most books, the lovable loser magically becomes a superstar everyone admires – in a span of mere pages. Voza has to work her hardest just to be average.

Voza loves singing more than anything else, but everyone knows she has the worst pipsqueak voice of the entire fifth grade chorus. The choral auditions this year are especially tough: they’re going to perform for the President of the United States, so Ms. Hohum, the teacher, must be picky.

Voza’s enthusiasm is contagious so Ms. Hohum keeps her in the chorus as the made-up Rest Leader. Voza practices the silences and all of the notes in between with a zeal only found in someone who will never be great. Moments before the big performance, Voza is the only one backstage, due to an unfortunate ice cream mishap. Her choices in this tough situation are inspiring for readers at every skill level.

I’ve enclosed a copy of the manuscript VOZA SINGS, a well-paced picture book for mid-elementary grades. I’ve been writing professionally for several years and am a SCBWI member. This is my first work of fiction.


Yours sincerely,

Lesley said...

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust:

I am seeking representation for my complete 120,000 word paranormal romance novel, Dana of the Whispering Wood. The next book in the series, Arianna Penndragon, is also completed and available for your review.

The fantasy story about the brave prince saving his kingdom from a marauding dragon has been done to death. This time the only one who can save the kingdom is the pretty, little peasant witch, who just happens to be a dragon princess. The only catch is she doesn’t know it.

Dana of the Whispering Wood is the Snow Child, a white dragon in human form destined to defeat the Red Dragon who wants nothing more than to capture the last fairy stronghold in Ireland. A foundling left near a cottage in the Whispering Wood, Dana never dreamed that one day the fate of the kingdom of Sithein would be in her hands. When the Fairy Queen charges her with discovering the identity of the Snow Child, she finds the keys to unlocking her own magical powers and her past.

Dana stumbles into the company of the King of Sithein who takes her under his protection and allows her to work as a healer and midwife in his city, but when he dies and leaves his young son Patrick in power, she is unsure of her place in the kingdom. When Dana uses her powers to kill a man who was trying to murder her, she is brought up on charges of witchcraft. Just as she is about to be burned at the stake, she sees a vision of the Snow Child and the young King Patrick pulls her from the fire. His distrust of her slowly fades as his feelings for her grow, and the two fall into an impossible love affair. She is a peasant, and he is a king who must marry for power not love. In the end, she discovers that she is in fact the Snow Child. Dana stands against the Red Dragon in battle and defeats him but is terribly wounded. King Patrick having come so close to losing her realizes that it is not always power which should dictate his choices and tells her of his true feelings.

This is the first novel which I have attempted to publish, but I graduated from the University of Arkansas in English with an emphasis in Creative Writing. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pen, and there are few things I find more satisfying.

I would love to send you a copy of the completed manuscript. Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,

Lesley Speller
http://www.lesleyspeller.com
me@lesleyspeller.com

Anonymous said...

Gerard Fauchey
Gardenias 8, Hacienda Cocoyoc
Yautepec, Morelos, MEXICO 62736
Tel & Fax: (52) 735- 356-1223/ 735-126-1770 (Cell phone)
e-mail: gfauchey@yahoo.com

May 1, 2007
Query: I Only Know I Fell in Love with You
Genre: Erotica / Psychology
Word Count: 100,000
Status: Finished and translated to Spanish
Editor (Spanish version): Gian Carlo Corte,
former Chief Editor of Random House-Mondadori
Ms. Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
jfaust@bookends-inc.com

Dear Ms. Faust,

I Only Know I Fell in Love with You is a story of passionate love and conflict. The main obstacle in Julio and Maritza’s road to happiness is her inability to reach orgasm. This conflicting situation is today a sad and worrisome fact of life for a majority of women (70% according to The Hite Report), a disturbing subject that has been scarcely addressed in novels in which the act of love is generally an idealized event.

I Only Know I Fell in Love with You is not a work of titillating erotica per se, although sex (or the lack of it) strongly affects and influences the development of the relationship, as it usually does in real-life.

The title is long, I know, but it reflects with Socratic simplicity what the book is about. The story is told in first-person, as seen from the man’s point of view. Julio finds himself frequently baffled by Maritza’s exasperating conduct while at the same time his heart is captivated by her intoxicating joie de vivre. At the end, after losing his family and career, his beloved marries someone else and Julio has to admit that the only thing he knows is that he fell in love.

The story takes place in Mexico and Cuba and it evolves in a series of unexpected and sometimes funny, occasionally dramatic plot twists that keep the reader turning the pages. It is not a formula romance novel, but rather a tale of deep feelings in the style of Nabokov’s Lolita.

I currently work as public speaker for Omnilife, Latin America’s largest multilevel company. Sample chapters and the full manuscript are ready for your request. I thankfully appreciate your consideration and time.

Best regards,
Gerard Fauchey

Dara Edmondson said...

Dear Ms. Faust;

I am a regular reader of your blog and am impressed by your knowledge of the industry and willingness to give struggling writers great advice. Thus, I would like you to consider my completed contemporary romance manuscript, HIDE AND SEEK for representation.
Set in my hometown of Orlando, Florida, HIDE AND SEEK, at 95,000 words is the story of three women struggling with destructive secrets, past and present. Each woman appears to have a perfect life. Yet none do.
Lindy is hiding emotional scars from a brutal attack, scars that threaten to destroy the man she’s fallen in love with. Mila discovers that her perfect husband is having several affairs–with men. When one of his lovers murders him, she is forced to examine her shallow life. Devon’s boyfriend Steve has fathered a secret child during an affair. That child is now ill and needs part of his liver. Rather than face the problems of her current relationship, Devon falls into the arms of another man and adds more complications to her already messy life.
I am a full-time writer with a degree in Journalism with an English minor and am a PAN member of the Romance Writers of America and president of my local chapter. I regularly teach writing workshops at local libraries. My first print novel, THE KITTEN CLUB, a contemporary romance, was released in May. I have six other titles that have been electronically released by The Wild Rose Press and Aspen Mountain Press. Please find attached the first 50 pages of HIDE AND SEEK and a synopsis. I would be happy to send you the full. I look forward to working with you and your Agency. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Jennifer McK said...

May 1st 2007

Jessica Faust
Bookends, LLC
126 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

It begins with a box of paperbacks sent by a dead man.
"Still Waters" is a completed 70,000 word romantic suspense that includes blackmail, murder and betrayal. Jessica Logan opens an ordinary cardboard box mailed by her father on the day he committed suicide. She has no idea that opening it will lead her into discoveries about her family that involve death and destruction. Travis Connors has pieces to the puzzle, but he's not sharing. As a private investigator, he prefers to work alone. But when he proves to Jessica that her father was murdered, he finds himself with a partner who both irritates him and attracts him. As they begin to unravel the murder, the answers only lead to more questions. Finding trust in each other becomes as important as finding the person who would like Jessica and Travis dead.
I have four short stories published with a small epublisher and a romantic suspense coming out in print in September with Different Small Press. I am a member of RWA and Sacramento Valley Rose RWA. I am a reviewer for Romance Divas award winning website.
Enclosed is a synopsis for "Still Waters" and the first 50 pages.
Thank you for your consideration.

Chisem said...

May 1, 2007


Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

I offer you KILBOURNE, a psychological thriller of roughly 78,000 words. The manuscript has been vetted by a district attorney and a psychologist. It is loosely based on a true incident more than forty years ago in Texas. Furthermore, I suspect readers of James Patterson and Dean Koontz will find this topic of interest.
In my fictional world, a young attorney serves on a jury that sentences an uneducated redneck to death for the murder of his own ten-year-old niece. Fifteen years later the killer asks for the attorney to serve as his pro bono representative when it is discovered that a tainted confession put him on death row, and a new trail is scheduled. Now svelte and educated, the killer comes out of prison bent on revenge; not the death of the jurors, but the murder of each juror's first born.
I’m a journalist and published author of four non-fiction books ranging from biography to true crime. One was a Literary Guild alternate selection, and another was a True Crime Book of the Month. A complete resume and synopsis follows this letter.

I hope this piques your interest.

Cordially,
Agent Seeker

A SYNOPSIS:
G.W. CHISM, fresh out of law school, serves on a death penalty trial of a man with the intellect of the village idiot. NO MERCY PERCY KILBOURNE raped and beheaded his niece. He is so inarticulate he can hardly testify; a gross example of a Southern redneck’s redneck. Because of trial error Chism asks the jury to take three votes. One finds Kilbourne guilty. Another finds him innocent.
The third sends Kilbourne to death row. In prison, he is told a joke by a
guard that changes his life. Kilbourne discovers he is dyslexic, not ignorant.
Fifteen years later APRIL SINCLAIR, a female DEA agent, discovers that the killer’s confession, heard by the jurors during the trial, was beaten out of him. A new trial is ordered, and Kilbourne asks for Chism to be his pro bono attorney. Stunned, Chism discovers the once inarticulate Kilbourne is now a suave and cunning psychopath, with a degree in psychology. He has taken advantage of his time in prison.
Once released, crafty Kilbourne arranges for Chism to meet April. The two fall in love and marry. Kilbourne sneaks into their home where he replaces April’s birth control pills with aspirin. Kilbourne goes on a rampage, taunting Chism with clues from apparently unrelated multiple murder scenes from across the nation. It isn’t until Chism’s wife tells him she’s pregnant that the pieces fall together. Kilbourne is seeking his revenge through the murder of the first born of the jurors, and growing bolder with each death.
April is kidnapped and held hostage as the child grows toward birth, and its immediate death. Chism discovers Kilbourne’s lair and they battle to Kilbourne’s fiery death. April and the child are saved.
The End

KimAmburn said...

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

I am looking for representation for my manuscript, Suburban Secrets, which is an 88,000 word romantic suspense. I believe that, given the clients you represent and my writing style, we would make a good team.

Lindsey Dameron is a divorced housewife desperate for money who takes a job with a private investigator uncovering suburban secrets and stumbles across a dead body, a missing socialite and, possibly, the love of her life. She needs cash, fast, to save her house before she has to sell it in accordance with her divorce settlement but she's not making enough money.

Ethan Wayne must clear his name before he's arrested for the disappearance of his soon-to-be ex-wife and the murder of her lover. He goes to hire Ace Investigations, a firm with a good reputation and cheap rates, but the only investigator available is a woman who looks more like a soccer mom than a private eye. When a reward is offered for information leading to the return of his missing wife, Ethan and Lindsey make a deal to find her and split the reward. Can they find his wife and her lover's killer before Ethan is arrested and Lindsey loses the only home she's ever known?

I am a member of RWA and RWA Online. My most recent romantic suspense novel, Dreams, is currently available from Triskelion Publishing. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Kim Amburn

lisawrites said...

query...and thank you for doing this!

Dear Ms. Editor

GARBAGE GIGS is a completed 70,000 word contemporary romance set in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. This story is targeted for the Harlequin Superromance line.

Christina Carrington, nicknamed Sissy, drove garbage trucks for a living, to support her four year old son, Lucas. Struggling for independence in the man’s world that she worked in, Sissy’s struggle was made even more difficult by her office manager, Darryl. Not only was slimy, mentally imbalanced, Darryl the father of her son, Lucas (the product of a short-lived ‘relationship’ that she had with Darryl prior to working at the company), but as Darryl would later reveal in the story, he is also her husband, much to her astonishment. Though he has no intention of being a father to Lucas, he has every intention of controlling Sissy.

Andrew Featherstall, owner of Garbage Gigs, left his bachelor life in Coquitlam, BC, to make a short trip to the Victoria branch of his company that he built from the ground up. Rumors of his office manager, Darryl, doing a shabby job of running the office, made Andrew begrudgingly make a trip to ‘granola-munching’ Vancouver Island. He did not expect to have his self-imposed single-life disrupted by Sissy, who not only made him trust women again, but also made him see that there is much more to life than running a business 24/7.

Hauling garbage all day and coming home to Lucas every night, were the two things that Sissy came to depend on. But what she didn’t know, and would soon learn, is that sometimes you have to depend on the people that you least expect.

I have been writing for 6 years, and have had numerous articles published in magazines. As romantic stories have always been my first love, I joined the Romance Writers of America, Vancouver Island Chapter two years ago, and with their support and insight into the business, I have completed this novel. This novel has been entered in the 2007 Romance Writers of America 2007 Golden Heart Contest; results not to be disclosed until March 2007.

If you are interested, I will gladly send you either the first three chapters of this story, or the completed manuscript. Also enclosed you will find the synopsis for Garbage Gigs, as well as a SASE for your reply. If you prefer, I can be reached by email or phone.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Yours truly,


lisawrites

Angelle Trieste said...

1 Hope Street
Great City, Great State 11111
(555) 555-5555

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

I'm an avid reader of your blog, and you mentioned some weeks ago that blending genres is popular. I thought you might like to consider my novel The Last Slayer, an urban fantasy with romantic elements. It’s completed at 100,000 words.

Ashera del Cid is a demon hunter who takes great pride in her work. But when a triumvirate of demigods wants her dead for killing one of its dragons, the hunter turns hunted. Even though Ramiel, a rival demigod, offers his help, she turns him down. She isn’t naïve enough to trust anyone from the supernatural realm, especially one who arouses her senses like no other.

Ramiel has his own agenda. He has waited decades for revenge on the demigod who humiliated and irreversibly crippled him by ripping out his wing. Ramiel plans to use Ashera to destroy the world order led by his archenemy.

The stakes are raised when a member of the triumvirate poisons Ashera’s best friend. To get the antidote Ashera is forced to accept Ramiel’s help. But as Ashera and Ramiel battle demigods and dragons, there is one thing they could never have planned on: the chemistry sizzling between them despite their mutual distrust.

I’m a member of Romance Writers of America and its special interest chapters RWAOnline, and Futuristic, Fantasy & Paranormal. My previous writing credits include a classical music columnist position for Disceptatio, a webzine featured on CNN.com, a series of essays on western Japan for the Japan Travel Bureau, and several short story publications. An SASE is enclosed for your response.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Angelle Trieste
Encl: SASE, Synopsis, Partial

Tawny Taylor said...

Kudos to those who were brave enough to post! I'm looking forward to reading the comments/suggestions.

Jenna Bayley-Burke said...

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

Tyler McNally has a secret-- a few of them, actually. Keeping track of just who suspects what is exhausting but he doesn’t dare come clean. Being exposed as a virgin would sink his lucrative erotica career, and his family discovering he pens naughty stories is not something he wants to contemplate. Juggling everyone’s expectations, Tyler goes about trying to be different things for different people – an experienced sensualist on one hand, and a successful writer on the other.

Jeanette Vines has hit a brick wall. Eight agents and two editors have read her beloved manuscript, only to tell her it falls flat. She needs help developing the male point of view, but since it’s an erotic romance and she’s sworn off men, she’s in a bit of a quandry. When her good friend/muse suggests a solution When her friend and muse suggests allowing a male writer to review it as the obvious solution, Jeanette bolsters herself against the possible insinuations and allows Tyler to read her story.

From the first words he reads, Tyler knows Jeanette’s the one he's been waiting for all his life. But when he confesses everything to her, she doesn't exactly come running. Jeannette wants to take things slow and is slightly put off by his talk about marriage and working on a project together. Tyler doesn't understand her hesitancy and, thinking she doesn’t understand his ardor, doubles his pursuit. When everything comes crashing down Tyler steps back and sees that sometimes the truth is the only thing that can set you free.

Little White Lies is my sixth completed manuscript, my second single-title length.

Currently, I have two novels with Mills & Boon’s Modern Extra line and am contracted for another. If you’d like, I could send you copies of Just One Spark and Cooking Up A Storm. I have a short story in the Dreams & Desires charity anthology, and another on eHarlequin. I am active in my local RWA chapter and in online groups like eHarlequin, Pink Heart Society, and Romance Divas.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Jenna Bayley-Burke
Address
email
phone

jamandahosch@yahoo.com said...

BookEnds, LLC
Attn: Jessica Faust
136 Long Hill Rd
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust:

Six months past Hurricane Katrina, barista extraordinaire Alice Baies is finally enjoying a normal work day at Café Au Lait in uptown New Orleans when she discovers the corpse of a co-worker painted with a blue X stuffed under the café's back steps thus forcing Alice to unravel a trail of deception and murder in the still-traumatized city. The 62,000-word cozy mystery entitled The Barista Sees the Blues is the first in a proposed series set in post-Katrina New Orleans. Featuring the amateur sleuthing duo of Alice and her retired school teacher aunt Trudy Baies, The Barista series will intertwine coffee lore and tips, New Orleans' famous cuisine, and mouth-watering recipes set against the backdrop of the historic city.

Alice is impelled to investigate when another barista, flighty irresponsible Cassy, cannot be found, but the overworked and understaffed New Orleans Police refuse to search for her. Alice enlists the help of her aunt Trudy to help find Cassy and discover who has a grudge against the baristas. Their main suspect, Simon Dupré--the shifty general manager of Café Au Lait and the owners' only child--is brutally murdered and Alice finds herself the prime suspect. With a little help from friends, including a tarot-card reading witch, Alice tracks down the real killer, figures out the meaning of the blue X, and saves Aunt Trudy just in time from being the next victim.

As a native New Orleanian, living north of Lake Pontchartrain at the time, I experienced first hand the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. Working as a barista/coffee master at the local branch of a large national chain, I was able to offer help and comfort to those in need. I graduated from the English program at the University of New Orleans where I was also the editor of the college newspaper. Since then I have been an editor, English teacher, and coffee master. I've published in multiple English as a Second Language teaching journals.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Amanda Hosch

Jenna Allen said...

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

When a self-sacrificing yoga instructor and a controlling CEO are thrown together to lead the Sensational Sex Couples Workout Series, a course designed to help committed partners experience the more rigorous postures of the Kama Sutra, they find the Kama Sutra requires more than physical flexibility. In 80,000 words, Sensational Sex shows their sensual path through stalemate and seduction.

When David Strong walks in to her women’s fitness club, claiming he’s there to help lead the partnered yoga class as a favor, Sophie Matthews can barely breathe. She’s lusted after her brother-in-law’s best friend for a decade, but he doesn’t even know who she is. The Sensational Sex workout series may be just what she needs to get his attention.

There’s more standing in the way of Sophie finally getting the man she’s been fantasizing about for the last decade. On their journey they wind their way past his detailed list of rules that keep his heart safe, sexual frustration, loyalty to friends, family betrayal, communication breakdowns and a steady addiction to sugar.

Sensational Sex is my fourth completed manuscript, my second single-title length. Currently, I have two novellas with Phaze. I am active in my local RWA chapter and in online groups like EPIC, Romantic Ink and Romance Divas.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Jenna Allen
Address
email
phone

Isabelle Santiago said...

Wow, these are way more than 5! You're right Ms Faust, you may be in over your head! ;)

Either way, I can't wait to read some of your critiques. I have a difficult time with queries, so I'm eager to hear what makes the best ones stand out.

Becky Levine said...

Becky Levine
19311 Bear Creek Rd.
Los Gatos, CA 95033
408-354-3492
becky77@verizon.net
www.beckylevine.com
http://beckylevine.livejournal.com


May 1, 2007

BookEnds, LLC
Attn: Jessica Faust
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust:

In my 60,000-word, middle-grade mystery, How I Solved My Summer Vacation, I introduce readers to Joel Wiley. An eleven-year-old boy from the Midwest, Joel lands in California for a summer of the beach, sun, and fun. He figures a vacation with his Santa Cruz cousin is the perfect escape from three months of cleaning and weeding for his grandmother. Then a break-in at his uncle’s business threatens not only Joel’s plans, but his uncle’s job as well. Joel is determined to solve this mystery, help his uncle, and save his summer.

Children love a mystery, as evidenced by the success of writers like Wendelin Van Draanen and Bruce Hale and by the lasting power of Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, and Encyclopedia Brown. For boys, though, there is a gap in the mysteries available today. Once they have finished with Chet Gecko and Shredderman, they have nothing more to jump into, unless they want to skip ahead to Sherlock Holmes or are willing to read about a girl detective. My book fills this gap, giving boys an ordinary kid like themselves to read about, one with the curiosity and drive to follow clues, ask questions, and figure out whodunnit.

I am the author of Cool Cash Adventure, a middle-school guide to finance, and I regularly review children’s books for The Horn Book Guide. I am a professional editor, and I travel to workshops and conferences, speaking to writers about preparing manuscripts for editing and final submission. I am currently working with a co-writer on a proposal, requested by Adams Media, for a book about police life and procedures.

I am a member of Sisters in Crime and SCBWI.

Thank you for considering How I Solved My Summer Vacation. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Becky Levine

Patrice said...

May 1, 2007

BookEnds, LLC
Attn: Jessica Faust
136 Long Hill Road
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust:

I am interested in submitting a manuscript for your consideration entitled The Simple Life. It is a humorous chicklit journey-of-discovery story with a reverse Beverly Hillbillies theme. The novel is 82,500 words and complete.

What happens when city girl meets country life head-on? Advertising agent Rebecca Crane craves nothing more than security and stability in life. When she learns that she has inherited a farm from a distant relative, she doesn’t want it. Leave her steady, familiar life in Portland, Oregon for the tiny hamlet of Lilac? NOT.

But in one rotten week, she loses her job, her apartment, and her boyfriend. With few other options, she ends up leaving the city and facing the great unknown on a farm.

Against her better judgment – or wishes - she learns the finer points of milking cows, feeding chickens, dealing with manure, and panting after Jake, the guy next door.

She’s a misfit in Lilac, a misfit on the farm, and a misfit in this new “simpler” life. There is nothing in this podunk place that appeals to her, with the possible exception of Jake. She can’t wait to get out. When the opportunity comes to return to Portland, she jumps at the chance.

But if she thought she was heading back to happy, familiar lifestyle, she’s wrong. Why can’t she adjust? What happened to the city life that she loves? Her new job is difficult, she can’t find a decent place to live, and she is surprised to find she misses the quiet of Lilac.

Can she give up the amenities of Portland and stay in Lilac? Can she stand to face the milking end of a cow every morning? Can she stand local fashions that could be featured in Yokel Today Magazine?
If it means finding a stability and security – and Jake - then the answer is yes.

What makes The Simple Life unique? There are lots of sassy chicklit books out there. However, few address the hilarious realities of what happens when a city girl hits a farm. I speak from experience. Been there, done that, got hit in the face with a poopy cow's tail while milking.

I am published in several magazines (including Countryside, Backwoods Home, Country Extra, Home Education Magazine, BackHome Magazine, and Grit; others pending). I have two novels under contract with The Wild Rose Press, which is considering two additional manuscripts as well. I have a nonfiction manuscript currently under contract with an agent. I am the editor of The Dexter Record, the official quarterly publication of the Purebred Dexter Cattle Association.

I am a member in good standing with Romance Writers of America. I am the Editor of the Inland Inklings, the newsletter for the Inland Empire Chapter of RWA (our local branch), and the former President of the Heart of the Rogue chapter of RWA (now disbanded). I have served as a first-round judge in both our local chapter’s writing contest, as well as the RWA Golden Heart contest.

If this subject is of interest to you, I can forward a proposal or the full manuscript.

Thank you for your attention. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Patrice Lewis
plewis@rezmail.com
Pretend This Is My Phone Number
Pretend This Is My Address

Teresa D'Amario said...

May 1, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

While researching agents, your name was brought to my attention as someone interested in new talent. I am sending you information about my new book, Desert Flame, The Fire Within, Complete at 89,000 words. It is a spectacular look at what’s hot in today’s sexy paranormal romance. In the tradition of Christine Feehan and Sherrilyn Kenyon, a new world is born. In a story where The Drake Sisters meets Stargate SG-1, the battle of good over evil takes a new turn.

Trapped on a planet not their own, the Petiri spend their lives hiding the natural gifts that set them apart from the world. They live long and unfulfilled lives, unable to find their soul mates on this backward planet known as Earth. That is until the night Ramose comes face to face with Tamara, a woman whose gifts rival his own. Determined to find why this human is in possession of an ancient magical Petiri relic, he arranges a meeting.

But Tamara, embittered from past events, is wary despite lifelong dreams of Ramose and a sure knowledge he is her soul mate. Before long the couple find themselves ensnared in a battle that has raged for millennia in Egypt’s desert. Set, Egyptian God of Chaos, is determined to take his just due: the throne of Osiris.

The only way to stop him is for Ramose to put his trust in Tamara, but first must gain the same from her. The ensuing sensual relationship is filled with romance, lust and love. Their relationship is tested by an unnatural evil, culminating in a fierce battle within the recesses of an Ancient Egyptian tomb. Will her powers over fire, combined with his invisibility be enough to win the day? Or will the ancient gods and goddesses of Egypt take control?

Desert Flame is the beginning of a new series, with two completed manuscripts, and one in the works. I am a member of my local RWA Chapter and have been writing for one year, during which I have completed three manuscripts and one partial. I am retired Air Force, and have used my unusual voice in many Air Force publications, as well as an online series called “Rainbow Bridge Stories”.

I look forward to your response and have the completed manuscript available upon request. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Tess said...

Thanks for doing this, Jessica :)

BookEnds, LLC
Attn: Jessica Faust
136 Long Hill Rd
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

I see from your website that you are looking for historical romances and hope that my manuscript might be of interest to you. Set in late 18th Century England and France, What the Heart Remembers is a 95,000 word historical romance.

What if you risk your life to save a woman who refuses your help? English agent Adrian Brydgewater grapples with that dilemma when he breaks into a Paris prison to free a missing informant's sister. His single minded drive to complete his mission to save Louis XVII is about to be tested by the attractive widow who holds the key to the plan. Only after he has delivered the boy king to safety in England will he be at liberty to pursue his sister's murderer, a brutish French spy.

What if your family is murdered by Revolutionaries and you infiltrate the prison system to find your surviving brother, only to be rescued against your will? French widow Cécile de Maroine is less than grateful to the mysterious stranger who insists she help him find and then decode the information her brother failed to pass on to the English. Soon her promise to keep secret her own covert role faces its biggest challenge, from the one man who can help her find her sibling.

I have an MA in History, specializing in the French Revolution. A member of Romance Writers of America since the mid-90s, I'm also a writer/reviewer for the UK-based Historical Novel Society.

Thank-you for your time - I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,


Teresa Eckford
tess66@gmail.com

Kimberly Wollenburg said...

Wow! I'm torn between sympathy and gratitude. Thanks for doing this!


May 1, 20007


Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

A published friend of mine, Wendy Warren, has nothing but positive things to say about you. After reading your blog, it’s obvious she’s right. Beyond your humor and candor, your obvious dedication to your clients is undeniable.

I’d like you to consider Relic Defender: Seal of Solomon the first book of an open-ended paranormal series set in Chicago. The manuscript is complete at 95,000 words and features fallen angels, demons and a shape-shifting rock.

Though she denies it, Lexie Harrison is a lost soul desperately seeking something, and someone, to believe in. Without family, without faith, she hides behind a shell of calculated disdain allowing no one the opportunity to breach her defenses. To make her feel. To make her care. Until a battering ram in the form of a fallen angel, and a destiny she doesn’t want, shatters that shell.

On the path to his own redemption, fallen angel Simon St. John challenges Lexie to feel, to care while destiny forces her to take up the mantle of defender for a world she despises. A world which offers nothing but pain.

I am an active member of my local RWA chapter and recently signed a contract with New Concepts Publishing, LLC for an action/adventure romance set in Earth’s future. If you are interested, I have sample pages of Relic Defender and other works in progress on my web site, under my pen name (www.cassielknight.com).

As one spoiled pet owner to another, I’m excited at the possibility of working with you. Thank you very much for your valuable time and consideration.

Kimberly Wollenburg
Writing as Cassiel Knight
mailto:Cassie@cassielknight.com
www.cassielknight.com
HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT, New Concepts, 2007

Cassandra said...

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

Thank you for this opportunity to share with you my story, Storm Shadow, an 80,000 word paranormal romance. The book is part Practical Magic meets The Twilight Zone, and part The Sixth Sense meets Rebecca.

Faith Carmicheal never intended to get stuck on the interstate in the worst thunderstorm of the century, but when her car blows a tire she's forced to wait out the storm. The rain is so heavy, she can barely see the overpass in the distance. When the storm finally eases, she gets out to change her tire, and finds a set of samaritans who seem to appear out of nowhere to help her continue on her way.

She arrives in the sleepy little town of Badger Creek, the birthplace and now the final resting place for her paternal grandmother, a woman she barely remembers from her childhood. She hadn't planned to attend the funeral when she first heard about it, but a call from her grandmother's lawyer explained it was imperative for her to go to the funeral and be at the bequest afterward.

The good people of Badger Creek mourn the passing of Lynella Rose Carmichael. But as the storm returns and grows into a fury, they prepare to welcome their new weather witch, and are quite prepared to do anything to keep her.

At present the book is only half finished, but I was curious if you thought it had merit. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Cassandra Curtis
Address
Phone
email

Chumplet said...

Dear Ms. Faust,

Christina Mackey loves everything about hockey. Except the players. Left alone and pregnant by an aspiring pro, she vows it'll take more than a few muscles to change her view on jocks and their exploits.

During a rare visit to a game, she inadvertently foils a murder attempt by a man who smuggles a gun into the arena. When star winger Jason Peterson discovers that he was the target, he visits her to thank her. They strike up a friendship that quickly develops into attraction.

Christina's six-year-old daughter Mishayla immediately accepts him, prompting Christina to let her heart take the lead, albeit with caution. She figures he'll soon come to his senses and move on. Surprisingly, he doesn't. Maybe he's normal after all.

Jason is tired of the dating scene. He'd entertained a succession of beautiful women since his rookie year, but none were a substitute for his first relationship, which had ended in tragedy. Christina's gentle spirit reawakens him, and Mishayla reminds him of the child he could have had.

Shiela Duffy, Jason's ex-girlfriend, refuses to let him go. He had ended their tumultuous relationship when she admitted was involved with the man who later tried to shoot him.

Her devotion to drugs and alcohol are second only to her obsession with Jason and his lifestyle. She uses lies, threats and manipulation in trying to get him back, but with no success. Aware that he is seeing someone else, she drives herself between them, recklessly putting Christina and her daughter in peril.

BAD ICE is a contemporary romance set against a hockey background, and is complete at approximately 76,000 words.

Small Press recently accepted my first novel, TITLE, for publication. The release date is pending. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Regards,

Chumplet

Lara said...

HIT REPLY is a completed 85,000-word single title contemporary romantic comedy. I invite you to review the manuscript for my novel and consider representing me.

What could be more devastating than having your boyfriend break up with you unexpectedly? Breaking up with you via an email… which is inadvertently sent to all of your co-workers! That’s where we find independent and outspoken Jamie Knight. A high school teacher beginning the summer break, Jamie finds herself doing the one thing she swore she’d never do. She’s returning to Elm Creek to lick her wounds and reclaim her dignity.

From bailing her impetuous grandmother out of compromising situations at the local retirement center, to meeting old friends and lovers, and receiving threats from someone who wants her out of town fast, life in Elm Creek keeps Jamie on her toes. Things really heat up when Officer Cole Gammon is charged with keeping an eye on Jamie, who is hell-bent on proving she doesn’t need a man to take care of her.

Growing up the son of a social-climbing mother, Cole knew he won't be happy with a woman who found that life exciting. Watching his mother sacrifice what was right for what was accepted among her shallow friends left Cole with two requirements for the woman he would marry. She had to honorable and she had to love small-town life.

Jamie grew up a small-town girl living in her older brother’s shadow. Living in that shadow for eighteen years created in Jamie a need to live on her own, far removed from her mother’s expectations. She left Elm Creek two days after high school graduation and hasn’t looked back since. Until now.

Cole and Jamie want the same thing. They want that bring-you-to-your-knees kind of love that will last a lifetime. But can they bridge the impasse they have reached? Can they sacrifice the lives they have made for themselves to be with the one they love?

HIT REPLY is a romantic comedy about two people who find love in what they believe is the wrong place and at the wrong time only to learn that, anytime you find true love, it’s right.

I am a member of Romance Writers of America and an active member in my local RWA chapter. I have been writing for three years, during which I have completed various novellas and partials. I have previously served as the Editor of numerous professional journals and have taught Writing at the intermediate school level for the past five years.

Tori Scott said...

Thanks for doing this, Jessica!

Dear Ms. Faust,

I'm a faithful reader and occasional commenter on your blog and I am currently seeking representation for Undercover Vices, a 70,000 word sexy contemporary romance. I have an editor at (publisher) interested in buying this manuscript for the (imprint) line.

When Cassie Mills decides to moonlight for some much-needed extra cash, she's thinking of something along the lines of taking in typing or writing resumes. Demonstrating Purple Plumes of Passion isn’t even in the realm of possibility--until she learns how much money her best friend, Julia, is making working just a few hours a week. Now Cassie's making lots of money and loving every minute. Every minute, that is,until she’s arrested for corrupting the public morals--and her mother finds out what she's been up to.

Reed Stevens has finally found the love of his life. He'd been looking for Cassie since their chance encounter years ago, but now that he's found her, he's about to lose her again, this time because of the other love of his life--his job as an undercover cop.

Amanda Mason is a hard-nosed cop who wants Reed. She’ll do whatever it takes to get him—even if it means setting Cassie up by inciting the mayor’s wife against the Pleasure Parties and convincing her to have Reed assigned to put a stop to them, as Amanda’s partner, knowing full well that Reed has no idea Cassie is a Pleasure Party hostess.

Cassie’s only allies are her Aunt Grace, a 64 year old widow with an attitude, and her best friend Julia Sorenson, who got her into this mess in the first place. But Cassie has to stand up for herself, find a way to beat the system by getting the statute changed, and see if there's a second chance for her and Reed to walk on the same side of the law.

I am a former Golden Heart finalist, a member of RWA, the RWA Mystery and Suspense chapter, and a member of the Wet Noodle Posse (www.wetnoodleposse.com). I've had a short romantic story published in Woman’s World magazine (December, 2005).

I've included the first chapter and would be happy to send more at your request. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Desperate in Texas

Anonymous said...

What a generous opportunity. Whether you choose mine or not, thank you!

Dear Ms. Faust:

After her soul mate is killed while serving overseas, Callie wonders if she will ever fall in love again. When she dies shortly afterward in a car crash, it appears she'll never find out.

But dead, she's getting another chance at love. Possessing the living is easy -- if you can catch them when they're vulnerable, like during an alcohol blackout. Not particularly ethical, even if it is just temporary. Still, it's the only choice she has if she wants to feel again. And, while sex in a different body with a different man every night proves fun, it isn't totally satisfying. Because when material things no longer matter, love really is all there is.

An overachiever who's burned himself out at work, 40-year-old Doug starts frequenting the corner bar, ready to find something more meaningful in life. What he finds are three women he clicks with, who are not only amazing in bed but who have him seriously thinking marriage.

Except that one of the women turns up dead after spending the night, and he's the last person seen with her. Now it's up to Callie to find a way to make Doug believe in ghosts so she can help clear him as a murder suspect. Make him realize the "it" factor in those three women is all her. And validate the attraction is more than skin -- and sex -- deep.

That's when fate throws a suicidal woman Callie's way. Depression makes the woman's possession easy. And her body's a comfortable fit -- for both Callie and Doug. But is it wrong to use someone else's body to fulfill your own passion, even if that someone is willing? Or can Callie, after all, wind up with a happily ever afterlife?

THE LOVE POSSESSED is my first effort in the paranormal romance genre, although several of my fantasy/science fiction short stories have been published in various paperback anthologies and for-pay magazines.

Thank you for considering THE LOVE POSSESSED for review. Chapter One is available to read at [website]. I'm of course happy to send more pages at your request.

Kind regards,
Cyndi Drolet
Member RWA

Shelli Stevens said...

Oh how cool! Wish I'd seen this earlier. Although you'd be seeing double, since I recently queried you. :)

Kim said...

May 1, 2007

Ms Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Road
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms Faust,

Being captured and impressed into service on a pirate ship was not what runaway slave Finn Eden had imagined when she fled Barbados. Freedom means everything to her and she is determined to have it, even if it includes disguising herself as a boy to gain passage to Jamaica. What she didn’t count on was falling in love with the man she now serves.

Inigo Sebastiano knows there is something different about his new cabin boy, but can’t quite figure out what that something is. It’s only when he finds himself attracted to the lad that he begins to dig deeper to find out.
Upon discovering the truth about Finn, Inigo finds himself caught between growing desire for her, and the need to seek vengeance for a tragedy in his past.

Swept up in a tumultuous storm of fiery passion, and threatened with a repeat of history, Finn and Inigo must decide between following their chosen paths or taking a greater risk on a love neither one ever thought possible.

May I submit my historical romance Eden’s Pass to be considered for representation by your agency? It is approximately 93,000 words in length. My publishing credits include two single-title historical romances published through an e-publisher. I also published an article in the December, 2006 issue of New Jersey Romance Writer’s newsletter, The Heartline Herald, that was subsequently reprinted by seven different RWA chapters. I am also a member of both New Jersey Romance Writers and Romance Writers of America.

Thank you for taking the time to consider Eden’s Pass. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Kim


(ps. keeping my fingers crossed!) :)

thank you.

Erin said...

Am only including the main text.

Come age thirty, the mental health of those who communicate with ghosts deteriorates dramatically. Using an experimental drug said to reduce ghostly connections and thus prevent insanity, Katia generally feels respite though missing her ghost lover, Olof. But the wellbeing of her fellow participant, Scarlet – and best friend, whom she unintentionally transmitted the paranormal ability to – worsens with time.

Only guilt keeps Katia from embarking on an affair with Scarlet’s very much alive bedfellow. But Olof resents being unacknowledged, and is frustrated enough to take desperate measures – and Scarlet eerily assists with his dramatic plan.

BookEnds, LLC said...

Time's Up!

Thanks to everyone who participated. I will not be considering any queries made after this comment.

I have changed the rules a little. Rather than do a week of critiques, I will post my critique as I finish it and...I might even do more than five.

Anonymous said...

Submitted by Nan Higginson, kruffler@yahoo.com:

May 2, 2007

Dear Ms. Faust:

In researching top-notch agents, I was hooked by your request for off-beat characters, your appreciation of mysteries with an edge, and your delight in discovering yet-unpublished writers with a strong voice. My 74,000 word mystery, BUSTY BIGGS AND THE RUNAWAY DEATH, seems a good match for your niche of the agenting world. My polished manuscript is available via return mail or as an email WORD attachment. The story is the first in a proposed mystery series.

BUSTY BIGGS is a titillating businesswoman, dedicated to rejuvenating marriages and bringing sexy back. She shares Bette Midler’s saucy sense of humor despite being a misfit in conservative Grand Beach, South Carolina. Surviving on the east coast of the Bible Belt is a challenge on good days, but disaster strikes when Busty finds a young female runaway murdered in her safe room. The police investigation threatens to expose Busty’s secret involvement in a Native American underground network; a network that helps powerless victims escape from vicious, well-connected predators. Busty turns amateur sleuth, swearing that nobody-but-nobody will get away with murder on her turf. She doesn’t plan on her gaggle of pole dancers jumping into the search for the killer.

The idea for Busty grew from my long-term fascination with Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and my love of people watching. As a writer, I’ve placed in the top ten of Writer's Digest Annual Short Story Contest, genre category, and won the Phyllis A. Whitney Creative Writing Award. I’ve coached budding novelists over the years, and continue to critique works in progress. I’m an experienced copy writer and creator of booklets for educational purposes. Journalism is par for the course.

And, I’m not shy. I can whip up a writing workshop at the drop of a pen. I’m an active member of Sisters In Crime, Mystery Writers of America, and PopFiction Writers. I served as the webmaven for the NY/TriState SinC Chapter and am the Critique Group Coordinator for the internet based Guppy (Great Unpublished) branch of Sisters In Crime. My short story, CASINO GAMBLE is slated for publication in an anthology sponsored by the Sisters In Crime, New York/Tristate Chapter. As a private spin off from that SinCNY chapter, I’m a member of a writers’ blog: http://womenofmystery.net/.

I look forward to hearing from you. My first three pages and a one page synopsis are attached, for your consideration. For more information, I’m most accessible via Kruffler@Yahoo.com.

Sincerely,



Me!
snail mail address
email address
phone number

Anonymous said...

Home Address
City, State ZIP

May 2, 2007
Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

I am seeking representation for Medium Rare, my finished 83,000 word paranormal urban fantasy. Fans of Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files or Maryjanice Davidson’s Betsy the Vampire Queen series will enjoy this novel. I would be honored if you would consider my book for representation.

Selene Fitzgerald leads a team of Parapsychic Incidentalists to investigate and eradicate supernatural occurrences. It’s a great job at The Company; Selene uses her abilities as a Medium to lay spirits to rest and gets paid an outrageous salary while protecting the unsuspecting citizens of the world from supernatural threats.

It has been a busy year for Selene. When even feng shui fails to improve the fortunes of a local business, she is called to stop an office poltergeist. She faces off against evil house spirits and lays a Roman Imperial Soldier to rest after his millennium of guard duty. Selene even finds romance with a charming artist, and suppresses attraction to her sexy boss. All in all, things are looking up. But when Selene tracks down a sorcerous serial killer, the investigation uncovers a conspiracy of murder and Selene must choose between her cushy job and her beliefs.

The paranormal has fascinated me since childhood; both real and imagined. This interest led to minors in history and anthropology, with a focus on ghost stories and paranormal occurrences. This gives Selene’s profession a certain amount of depth that reflects my experiences as an amateur ghost hunter.
I appreciate your time and consideration.

Sincerely,


Cynthia DePalma

Wilfred the Author said...

Dear Ms. Faust:

Outcast FBI Agent Laura Daniels had no idea that a routine assignment to investigate the theft of low-level radiation devices would turn into a race to save the United States from a deadly virus. A Reason For Dying is 24 meets Outbreak. It explores the paranoia of a post 9/11 government when a deadly viral outbreak, emerging from a natural gas well, is mistaken for a bioterrorism attack. SARS, West Nile Virus and now the emergence of the potentially deadly Bird Flu make this 97,500 word suspense, a timely tale.

Laura Daniels’ investigation takes her to the site of the just-completed controversial oil and gas exploration well just outside Yellowstone National Park. Daniels discovers that powerful radioactive sources are missing from the site and a deadly viral outbreak has hit members of the drilling crew and the nearby towns. Sure that the virus was released by the terrorists, the search intensifies. The fleeing terrorists find themselves dying of the very virus they’re being accused of spreading and are ordered by their leader to use their own bodies as incubators for a massive bioterrorism attack. Even as Daniels tries to redefine her own life, she must not only find the infected terrorists, but also stop the viral laden natural gas from being pumped into a pipeline that will carry it to the west coast of the United States.

I am an Environmental Engineer with fifteen years experience in the oil and gas industry. My interest in paleontology and geology coupled with my extensive travel, both domestic and international, served well in formulating the plot for this novel. I am a member of the St. Louis Writers Guild and the St. Louis Chapter of Sisters In Crime. I placed third in the James Nash Memorial Short Story Contest for In Flew Enza, a historical fiction about the Spanish Flu and have attended several writers’ conferences and completed courses in creative writing through the University of Missouri - St. Louis’ MFA program. I am currently hard at work on a second Laura Daniels novel and committed to doing whatever is necessary to make this project a success.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I would appreciate the opportunity to send my completed manuscript for your review. Feel free to contact me with any questions or comments.

Sincerely,

Anonymous said...

Dear Ms. Faust,
I am seeking representation for my 80,000-word manuscript THE STAFF. It is women’s fiction suspense hung on a cozy mystery framework. There has never been a series about real working travel agents. Those that claim to be a travel agent are really tour escorts doing travelogue stories. My protagonist is a thirty-year veteran of the industry, who now manages a branch of a national agency.
Fifty-something Prudence Peter’s week from hell begins with a demotion, and notice that agents will be laid-off and one of five offices will close. At its end, a fired agent disappears and the State supervisor who fired her is murdered. The second week has her working hard to save not only her job, but those of her agents and keeping all the offices from closure when it is suggested that the company will close them all if it turns out that a disgruntled ex-employee went postal. The detective on the case only seems interested in the missing person as a suspected murderer. She reluctantly becomes an amateur sleuth to find the missing agent to clear her name, however everything she discovers overlaps into the murder case itself. Complicating her efforts is her west-coast director, who arrives in town with an agenda of her own, that includes avoiding bad publicity by claiming the state supervisor acted on her own when firing Pru’s agent. When the missing person is found murdered too, the political aspects as well as the trials and tribulations of being the lowest rung on the management ladder get worse. The west coast director does not want Pru to reveal the prime suspect because it may interfere with the sale of the offices in Pru’s state that she has brokered.
The story takes place in June of 2001, and even with the ending finding Pru accomplishing her task and keeping her job, the reader sees that she only has a brief respite before September arrives and sends the industry into its worst decline, while setting up the next book in a series about travel agents. My book will appeal to any woman who has managed for a considerable time any kind of local branch of a large national or international company.
I am well qualified to write about the travel business with forty years in the industry, twenty-five of which as an all-purpose and then a leisure travel agent.
Yours truly,

Megan Carligle said...

May 4, 2007

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust,

Trouble follows Megan Carligle like a hound dog on a hot scent. This time it’s tracked her to Rumor, Alabama where she’s working as the county’s ditziest dogcatcher. When she stumbles across the body of retired librarian, Stan Polesky, she never imagines her rescue of his four pound Yorkie will lead everyone in the small town to believe she’s a cold-blooded killer. But when one hundred grand in cold, hard cash turns up missing, she becomes the local PD’s prime suspect.

To complicate matters, the mystery man she's been dogging for his blatant disregard of leash laws, is the very detective investigating Polesky's murder. Top cop Nick Steele seems determined to find enough evidence to make the murder charge stick. As if things weren't bad enough, Meg finds herself drawn his bad boy demeanor and bulging biceps. Fighting her own conflicting emotions as well as a murder charge, Meg begins her own investigation into the retired librarian’s death.

Enlisting the help of best friend Tina, as well as Nathan, a love-struck rookie on the force, she begins tracking down Polesky's killer. But can she find him in time to get Nick off her back and into her bed? With her freedom as well as her love life at stake, Meg discovers that first impressions can be deceiving as neither Nick Steele nor 'Ol Polesky are quite what they appear to be in this zany mystery entitled, IN THE DOGHOUSE, complete at 50,000 words.

I am a freelance writer with several published articles in Best of Times, Continuing Care Magazine and Home Health Products. Current projects include a sequel to the above mentioned novel entitled NO DOGS ALLOWED where the threat of being evicted motivates Meg to discover and solve her landlord’s murder.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Teri Allen
teria1224@yahoo.com

Vicki Law said...

Jessica Faust
BookEnds, LLC
136 Long Hill Rd.
Gillette, NJ 07933

Dear Ms. Faust:

Thank you for the oppotunity to post my query on your blog. My manuscript is a completed western historical romance and approximately 100,000 words in length.

"Together" is a story about Jesse Harris, an ex-Texas Ranger whose inner demons drive him to seek revenge and Kate Burke, a cattle rancher bent on independence. Together, they find love instead of vengeance.

In Western Colorado, in the early 1880s, Jesse is on the trail of a killer when Kate, a rifle-toting red head, sidetracks him. When he discovers she’s in danger of becoming the next victim in a string of seemingly random murders, he vows to do what he’s failed to in the past, which is stop the killer. But Kate isn’t easily controlled and though she needs his help to survive, her pride threatens to destroy them both, until her skills become their salvation. As they work to save her ranch and family, they learn that a partnership formed with love is strong enough to defeat the two-legged evil that has haunted both their nightmares.

I have been writing romance for five years, am a member of RWA, the treasurer for Hearts Through History, a online RWA chapter, and 2007 conference co-chair for Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers. I also belong to a weekly critique group. I have non-fiction work published in Resume Pro: the Professional’s Guide and The Resume Catalog, both by Yana Parker. I also have fourteen years of legal writing experience as a paralegal.

This story crosses genres with a bit of mystery, a western jack-the-ripper, the flavor of the old west, a touch of humor and a lot of romantic conflict. I hope Jesse and Kate win your heart the way they have mine.

Thank you for your consideration.

Vicki Law
vruchhoeft@bresnan.net