Another fun round of things that make us laugh in the office.
After querying Kim and getting a message (I suspect) that she’s not accepting queries, the author simply forwarded the entire email to me, “Dear Ms. Lionetti” and all.
As per our guidelines we don’t accept unrequested attachments. In other words, we prefer the query to be in the body of the email, and if we request the material we’ll ask for it to be attached. Of course there are times when authors miss this, so I will reply with an email explaining the procedure and reminding authors that most agents don’t accept attachments and that reviewing guidelines before submitting is helpful. In response to one of these emails I received this, and trust me, with an email like this there is nothing you can do but laugh. Oh, and by the way, the expletives were modified by me, not by the author.
I suggest you open the attachments that are sent to you. Then you won't miss great material from great authors!!!
This message means (F**k You!) Maybe you can read that since it's some of my best writing! (emphasis added!)
Well it's not in the attachment... You did not ask for this either!!! It makes me feel better to express my thoughts and use some Freedom of Speech!
I'm sure many writer's want to say it! While you're at it kiss my a** also!!! Take as long as you need to for that!!!
I take the road that is less traveled by!!!!
I suppose I should be flattered by this response to a rejection:
I'm not too surprised at your lack of interest in my manuscript. I believe you to be "much too young" to grasp the full meaning, let alone the appreciation of the time and the setting for which this story took place in
This one should really be a ROFL. It’s a follow-up to a query:
DEAR JESSICA - I SEEM NOT TO HAVE A REPLY TO MY EMAIL OF YESTERDAY - ?